General Information[]
| Title | "The One After the Superbowl" |
| Format | SubRip |
| Extension | .srt |
| Wikipedia article | http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_One_After_the_Superbowl |
Subtitles[]
1 00:00:08,142 --> 00:00:10,542 Can't get the monkey off your back? 2 00:00:11,879 --> 00:00:14,040 Then put it in your mouth... 3 00:00:14,281 --> 00:00:15,908 ... with Monkeyshine Beer! 4 00:00:16,317 --> 00:00:18,751 Get it, monkey 5 00:00:19,920 --> 00:00:21,820 Get it, get it, monkey 6 00:00:23,958 --> 00:00:25,323 Monkey, monkey 7 00:00:25,559 --> 00:00:26,651 Monkeyshine Beer. 8 00:00:27,161 --> 00:00:29,288 Because it's a jungle out there! 9 00:00:30,064 --> 00:00:32,157 That commercial always makes me so sad. 10 00:00:32,466 --> 00:00:35,663 But then the guy opens his beer and girls run at him... 11 00:00:35,903 --> 00:00:37,803 ...so everything works out okay. 12 00:00:38,406 --> 00:00:41,273 I meant because the monkey reminds me of Marcel. 13 00:00:41,509 --> 00:00:42,567 I can see that. 14 00:00:42,810 --> 00:00:47,440 Because they both have those big brown eyes and the little pouty chin. 15 00:00:47,782 --> 00:00:50,342 And the fact that they're both monkeys? 16 00:00:51,285 --> 00:00:53,913 I wonder if I did the right thing, giving him away. 17 00:00:54,121 --> 00:00:58,353 Ross, you had to. He was humping everything in sight. 18 00:00:58,626 --> 00:01:02,426 My Malibu Barbie will no longer be wearing white to her wedding. 19 00:01:05,032 --> 00:01:07,296 Remember when he'd borrow your hat... 20 00:01:07,501 --> 00:01:11,301 ...and when you got it back, there'd be monkey raisins in it? 21 00:01:13,706 --> 00:01:17,369 When he did it, it was funny. When I did it to my boss's hat.... 22 00:01:18,844 --> 00:01:21,711 Suddenly, I had this big "attitude problem." 23 00:01:22,314 --> 00:01:24,339 The One With the Super Bowl 24 00:02:10,830 --> 00:02:13,162 Hey, check it out! Guess what I got? 25 00:02:13,399 --> 00:02:14,593 Rhythm? 26 00:02:15,701 --> 00:02:17,760 No. My first fan mail! 27 00:02:19,738 --> 00:02:21,399 "Dear Dr. Ramoray: 28 00:02:21,774 --> 00:02:24,743 I love you and would do anything to have you." 29 00:02:24,944 --> 00:02:28,505 My gosh! "Your not-so-secret admirer, Erika Ford." 30 00:02:29,548 --> 00:02:30,606 Oh, wait. 31 00:02:30,916 --> 00:02:35,353 "P.S. Enclosed, please find 14 of my eyelashes." 32 00:02:36,789 --> 00:02:39,917 In Crazy World, that means you're married. 33 00:02:42,628 --> 00:02:46,894 It's not addressed to Days Of Our Lives. This came to your apartment. 34 00:02:47,099 --> 00:02:48,589 She was in our building. 35 00:02:48,868 --> 00:02:50,233 Oh, my God. 36 00:02:50,970 --> 00:02:52,904 I got my very own stalker! 37 00:02:55,304 --> 00:02:58,304 You are so lucky, I'm gonna share mine. 38 00:03:00,304 --> 00:03:05,304 Joey, remember we talk about good thing and bad thing. This is a bad thing. 39 00:03:08,810 --> 00:03:10,368 Where are you off to? 40 00:03:10,578 --> 00:03:13,274 There's a paleontology conference in L.A. 41 00:03:13,548 --> 00:03:17,541 So I figured I'd go and drive down to the zoo and surprise Marcel. 42 00:03:17,752 --> 00:03:21,051 He will be surprised. Till he realizes he's a monkey... 43 00:03:22,824 --> 00:03:25,418 ...and isn't capable of that emotion. 44 00:03:27,629 --> 00:03:30,257 Phoebe? That really cute guy is here again. 45 00:03:31,566 --> 00:03:32,897 Okay, so everyone... 46 00:03:33,134 --> 00:03:36,433 ... pretend I'm telling you a story and it's really funny. 47 00:03:36,638 --> 00:03:38,731 So everyone just laugh. Now! 48 00:03:40,642 --> 00:03:42,109 I know, I know! 49 00:03:45,747 --> 00:03:46,736 I'm Rob Donan. 50 00:03:47,115 --> 00:03:48,139 Hi, Rob Donan. 51 00:03:48,416 --> 00:03:52,512 I don't know anything about music, but I think you're really great. 52 00:03:55,423 --> 00:03:59,325 Anyway, I schedule performers for children's libraries. 53 00:03:59,594 --> 00:04:04,258 And I was thinking, have you thought about playing your songs for kids? 54 00:04:04,499 --> 00:04:06,933 I would love to have kids... 55 00:04:10,471 --> 00:04:13,838 ...hear me play the songs that I will write for them. 56 00:04:16,010 --> 00:04:17,602 What do we do for dinner? 57 00:04:17,812 --> 00:04:19,803 We could cook for ourselves. 58 00:04:26,955 --> 00:04:27,853 It's Erika. 59 00:04:28,489 --> 00:04:29,717 My God. The stalker! 60 00:04:29,991 --> 00:04:31,151 Never mind. It's open. 61 00:04:33,861 --> 00:04:36,227 Hitting her with a frying pan is a good idea. 62 00:04:36,497 --> 00:04:40,058 But we want a backup plan, just in case she isn't a cartoon! 63 00:04:41,502 --> 00:04:43,163 Let's get out of here! 64 00:04:46,341 --> 00:04:48,400 The one time they're not home! 65 00:04:50,144 --> 00:04:52,009 We'll leave. When we pass her... 66 00:04:52,313 --> 00:04:54,679 ...she won't know me, because we never met! 67 00:04:56,551 --> 00:04:58,644 That's how radio stars escape stalkers! 68 00:05:00,688 --> 00:05:02,178 She's coming! 69 00:05:08,096 --> 00:05:09,495 It's me. 70 00:05:10,264 --> 00:05:13,062 This is it. This is how we're gonna die. 71 00:05:14,235 --> 00:05:15,167 You ready? 72 00:05:15,503 --> 00:05:16,993 Wait, wait, wait! 73 00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:26,772 Erika! 74 00:05:37,025 --> 00:05:38,515 -Mr. Geller? -Yes, hi. 75 00:05:38,760 --> 00:05:41,422 Dean Lipson, zoo administrator. 76 00:05:41,696 --> 00:05:43,357 You had a question? 77 00:05:43,965 --> 00:05:47,628 I can't find the monkey I donated last year. He's a capuchin... 78 00:05:47,869 --> 00:05:50,099 ...answers to the name Marcel? 79 00:05:50,872 --> 00:05:53,932 I'm afraid I have some bad news. 80 00:05:54,142 --> 00:05:56,474 Marcel has passed on. 81 00:05:58,279 --> 00:06:00,873 Oh, my God. What happened? 82 00:06:01,149 --> 00:06:03,709 He got sick, and then he got sicker... 83 00:06:03,951 --> 00:06:05,885 ...and then he got a little better. 84 00:06:06,554 --> 00:06:08,112 But then he died. 85 00:06:10,658 --> 00:06:12,091 I can't believe this! 86 00:06:12,293 --> 00:06:17,060 I'm sorry, Mr. Geller. But you know, there's an old saying: 87 00:06:17,298 --> 00:06:19,892 "Sometimes monkeys die." 88 00:06:21,502 --> 00:06:23,936 It's not a great saying... 89 00:06:25,073 --> 00:06:27,303 ... but it certainly is fitting today. 90 00:06:27,508 --> 00:06:30,409 -Someone should've called me. -I'm sorry. 91 00:06:30,611 --> 00:06:33,478 Look, I know this can't bring him back... 92 00:06:33,681 --> 00:06:35,672 ... but here, it's just a gesture. 93 00:06:37,585 --> 00:06:38,779 Zoo dollars? 94 00:06:39,020 --> 00:06:43,252 Yes, and come see the bird show at 4. The macaws wear hats. 95 00:06:44,859 --> 00:06:47,953 It's a lot cuter if your monkey hasn't just died. 96 00:06:56,703 --> 00:06:58,068 I know. 97 00:06:59,606 --> 00:07:02,404 I can't believe Joey's having lunch with his stalker! 98 00:07:02,609 --> 00:07:04,076 What is she like? 99 00:07:04,277 --> 00:07:06,711 You remember Kathy Bates in Misery? 100 00:07:06,946 --> 00:07:10,040 Well, she looks the exact opposite of that. 101 00:07:11,117 --> 00:07:13,017 And she's not crazy? 102 00:07:13,253 --> 00:07:15,278 Oh, no, no. She's a total whack-job. 103 00:07:15,889 --> 00:07:20,019 She thinks that Joey is actually Dr. Drake Ramoray. 104 00:07:20,260 --> 00:07:21,784 Oh, my God! 105 00:07:22,228 --> 00:07:23,889 And he's going out with her? 106 00:07:24,097 --> 00:07:25,792 He cannot pursue this. 107 00:07:26,065 --> 00:07:29,523 Just because this woman sees Joey through the magical box... 108 00:07:29,736 --> 00:07:32,261 ...in her living room doesn't mean she's not a person. 109 00:07:32,539 --> 00:07:35,940 Does she not deserve happiness? Does she not deserve love? 110 00:07:37,143 --> 00:07:41,239 Why are you looking at me? He's the one who wants to boff the maniac! 111 00:07:42,482 --> 00:07:43,608 Are you okay? 112 00:07:43,883 --> 00:07:45,817 No. I'm just nervous. 113 00:07:46,052 --> 00:07:49,283 Maybe if I just picture them all in their underwear.... 114 00:07:49,556 --> 00:07:53,652 That's not a good idea. That's the reason the last guy got fired. 115 00:07:57,497 --> 00:07:59,931 I'm used to playing for grownups. 116 00:08:00,266 --> 00:08:03,235 Grownups drink their coffee and do their grownup thing. 117 00:08:03,803 --> 00:08:04,997 And kids... 118 00:08:05,238 --> 00:08:06,330 ...Iisten. 119 00:08:07,574 --> 00:08:10,270 It's just a huge responsibility. 120 00:08:10,510 --> 00:08:11,670 What? 121 00:08:12,078 --> 00:08:13,807 Are you gonna kiss me? 122 00:08:15,081 --> 00:08:17,015 I was thinking about it. 123 00:08:21,287 --> 00:08:23,915 Alrighty! Let's play some tunes! 124 00:08:25,915 --> 00:08:26,915 Ok! Let's find some seats. 125 00:08:27,315 --> 00:08:28,715 Chandle, we gonna find our seats. 126 00:08:28,915 --> 00:08:30,115 Hold on a second. 127 00:08:31,915 --> 00:08:32,915 He thinks he can. 128 00:08:34,915 --> 00:08:36,915 He thinks he can. 129 00:08:37,915 --> 00:08:39,315 Oh, what the hell. 130 00:08:39,915 --> 00:08:41,259 He can. 131 00:08:43,859 --> 00:08:47,795 -Hi, everybody. I'm Phoebe. -Hi, Phoebe! 132 00:08:50,833 --> 00:08:54,530 I'm gonna play some songs about grandparents, okay? 133 00:08:57,039 --> 00:09:00,304 Now Grandma's a person Who everyone likes 134 00:09:00,509 --> 00:09:03,501 She bought you a train And a bright shiny bike 135 00:09:03,779 --> 00:09:06,680 But lately she hasn't Been coming to dinner 136 00:09:06,949 --> 00:09:10,282 And last time you saw her She looked so much thinner 137 00:09:11,387 --> 00:09:14,686 Now your mom and your dad said She moved to Peru 138 00:09:14,957 --> 00:09:18,324 But the truth is she died And someday you will too 139 00:09:18,324 --> 00:09:23,324 I will have the great seven, and the doctor, will have the resertal. 140 00:09:36,672 --> 00:09:40,130 -Oh, Drake, isn't it amazing? -Yeah, it is. 141 00:09:41,643 --> 00:09:42,871 What? 142 00:09:43,779 --> 00:09:46,441 Well, here we sit, devil-may-care... 143 00:09:46,682 --> 00:09:50,982 ...and a while ago you were reattaching Simone's spinal cord. 144 00:09:51,219 --> 00:09:52,447 That was a tricky one. 145 00:09:54,356 --> 00:09:55,345 In reality... 146 00:09:55,624 --> 00:09:59,685 ...that operation takes 10 hours. But they only showed it for 2 minutes. 147 00:10:00,629 --> 00:10:01,459 Who's "they"? 148 00:10:04,066 --> 00:10:05,624 No one. 149 00:10:07,069 --> 00:10:11,233 Drake, you are so talented. Let me see those hands. 150 00:10:11,506 --> 00:10:13,906 Oh, these hands, these beautiful hands. 151 00:10:14,910 --> 00:10:16,844 I could just eat them. 152 00:10:17,145 --> 00:10:18,407 But I won't. 153 00:10:19,648 --> 00:10:21,479 Otherwise my watch would fall off. 154 00:10:27,589 --> 00:10:28,578 No, seriously. 155 00:10:30,425 --> 00:10:31,255 These hands... 156 00:10:31,526 --> 00:10:34,154 ...these miracle, magical, life-giving hands. 157 00:10:34,429 --> 00:10:38,365 Just to be near them, touch them, maybe even lick one? 158 00:10:39,668 --> 00:10:41,863 All right. Just one. 159 00:10:51,413 --> 00:10:53,210 You're good at that. 160 00:10:55,050 --> 00:10:57,041 Oh, my God! Someone! He's choking! 161 00:10:57,252 --> 00:10:59,243 Is anyone here a doctor? 162 00:11:00,622 --> 00:11:02,613 Yes, the best doctor in Salem! 163 00:11:02,924 --> 00:11:04,687 Dr. Drake Ramoray! 164 00:11:20,708 --> 00:11:24,872 Meet me in the nocturnal house in 15 minutes. 165 00:11:27,715 --> 00:11:31,742 Hey, look. I don't really enjoy being with other men that way. 166 00:11:33,221 --> 00:11:35,189 But, zoo dollars? 167 00:11:36,424 --> 00:11:38,415 It's about your monkey! 168 00:11:39,260 --> 00:11:40,989 It's alive. 169 00:11:55,667 --> 00:11:58,830 I don't understand. Why didn't you help that man? 170 00:11:59,370 --> 00:12:01,930 Because I'm a neurosurgeon... 171 00:12:02,173 --> 00:12:05,404 ...and that was clearly a case of... 172 00:12:06,110 --> 00:12:07,270 ... "foodal chokage." 173 00:12:12,950 --> 00:12:14,508 I gotta tell you something 174 00:12:15,420 --> 00:12:17,285 You don't have to tell me anything. 175 00:12:17,588 --> 00:12:19,920 You don't have to explain yourself to me. 176 00:12:20,124 --> 00:12:23,116 Who am I to question the great Dr. Drake Ramoray? 177 00:12:23,394 --> 00:12:25,385 I should be happy to be near you. 178 00:12:25,697 --> 00:12:26,686 Hey, l 179 00:12:30,635 --> 00:12:32,068 Hey what? 180 00:12:32,370 --> 00:12:34,770 That's it. Just hey! 181 00:12:35,473 --> 00:12:37,805 Like at the end of a dance. Hey! 182 00:12:45,349 --> 00:12:47,146 There'll be times when you get older 183 00:12:47,418 --> 00:12:49,079 When you'll want to sleep with people 184 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:52,585 Just to make them like you But don't! 185 00:12:54,025 --> 00:12:54,957 'Cause... 186 00:12:55,159 --> 00:12:57,059 ... that's another thing... 187 00:12:57,261 --> 00:12:59,695 ... that you don't wanna do Everybody! 188 00:12:59,964 --> 00:13:04,765 That's another thing That you don't wanna do 189 00:13:06,337 --> 00:13:08,202 -Excellent! -Very informative! 190 00:13:08,439 --> 00:13:10,930 Not at all inappropriate! 191 00:13:11,342 --> 00:13:15,301 Thank you for coming, everybody! There are cookies in the back. 192 00:13:16,714 --> 00:13:18,204 That was great. 193 00:13:18,483 --> 00:13:20,542 The kids loved you. 194 00:13:20,852 --> 00:13:22,843 Yea! I rock! 195 00:13:23,554 --> 00:13:26,387 And you know why? Because you told the truth. 196 00:13:26,657 --> 00:13:28,716 Nobody ever tells kids the truth. 197 00:13:29,127 --> 00:13:30,617 You were incredible! 198 00:13:32,029 --> 00:13:32,961 But...? 199 00:13:33,564 --> 00:13:36,795 -How'd you know there was a "but"? -I sense these things. 200 00:13:37,001 --> 00:13:39,299 It was either "but" or "butter." 201 00:13:41,172 --> 00:13:43,470 The thing is, I think some of the parents... 202 00:13:43,741 --> 00:13:45,368 ...they were hoping that... 203 00:13:45,710 --> 00:13:48,406 ...you'd play more songs about barnyard animals. 204 00:13:48,713 --> 00:13:50,044 I can do that. 205 00:13:50,248 --> 00:13:51,215 Really? 206 00:13:51,415 --> 00:13:54,350 Because that would be fantastic! 207 00:13:55,353 --> 00:13:57,753 What? You wanna kiss me? 208 00:13:58,022 --> 00:13:59,717 I'm thinking about it. 209 00:14:03,717 --> 00:14:06,717 So by the libery car carticuler, we still have some time. 210 00:14:11,717 --> 00:14:14,717 What, I'm unemploy. 211 00:14:20,160 --> 00:14:21,718 The bat. 212 00:14:22,362 --> 00:14:24,353 Ambassador of darkness. 213 00:14:24,831 --> 00:14:28,597 Flitting out of his cave like a winged messenger. 214 00:14:28,935 --> 00:14:32,336 Sightless specter of the macabre. 215 00:14:33,606 --> 00:14:34,766 Buddy, my monkey? 216 00:14:35,708 --> 00:14:37,005 Oh, yeah, right. 217 00:14:38,845 --> 00:14:39,903 There was a break-in... 218 00:14:40,180 --> 00:14:42,774 ...a few months back. Inside job. 219 00:14:43,016 --> 00:14:44,449 Your monkey was taken. 220 00:14:53,717 --> 00:14:56,049 The zoo told me that my monkey was dead! 221 00:14:56,620 --> 00:14:58,019 The zoo! 222 00:14:58,422 --> 00:15:00,913 You believe everything the zoo tells you? 223 00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:06,759 That's the only thing the zoo's ever told me. 224 00:15:07,131 --> 00:15:10,532 Of course they'll say that! They don't want the bad publicity. 225 00:15:10,734 --> 00:15:12,463 It's all a great big cover-up. 226 00:15:12,736 --> 00:15:16,137 Do you have any idea how high up this thing goes? 227 00:15:16,540 --> 00:15:18,201 That guy Lipson? 228 00:15:18,709 --> 00:15:20,643 Lipson knows? 229 00:15:20,643 --> 00:15:24,643 -Do you have idea who else knows? -I only know Lipson. 230 00:15:25,879 --> 00:15:27,813 Lipson knows, huh? 231 00:15:28,648 --> 00:15:30,138 Hello, Mr. Possum. 232 00:15:30,483 --> 00:15:34,249 Enigma of the trees, upside-down denizen of the night. 233 00:15:34,454 --> 00:15:37,389 -Taunting gravity -Buddy, my monkey. My monkey? 234 00:15:39,392 --> 00:15:41,223 Word on the street 235 00:15:41,461 --> 00:15:45,522 When I say "street," I mean those pretend streets here at the zoo. 236 00:15:45,732 --> 00:15:46,994 Of course. 237 00:15:49,435 --> 00:15:51,926 Your monkey found a new career... 238 00:15:52,138 --> 00:15:55,403 ...in the entertainment field. That's all I know. 239 00:15:56,643 --> 00:15:58,372 This is unbelievable! 240 00:15:58,578 --> 00:16:03,413 So what is this information worth to you, my friend? 241 00:16:04,284 --> 00:16:06,809 Are you trying to get me to bribe you? 242 00:16:07,120 --> 00:16:08,314 Maybe. 243 00:16:10,056 --> 00:16:12,547 But you already told me everything. 244 00:16:23,166 --> 00:16:24,064 Check it out. 245 00:16:24,467 --> 00:16:26,935 He actually is the Monkeyshine monkey! 246 00:16:29,471 --> 00:16:30,631 What'll you do? 247 00:16:30,906 --> 00:16:34,069 I'm gonna call the beer company and try to find him. 248 00:16:34,309 --> 00:16:37,176 That's what I did when I lost my Clydesdales. 249 00:16:38,347 --> 00:16:39,746 Okay, hi again! 250 00:16:40,048 --> 00:16:42,573 Hi, Phoebe! 251 00:16:43,652 --> 00:16:48,089 Today, we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals. 252 00:16:49,491 --> 00:16:51,425 Oh, the cow in the meadow goes "moo" 253 00:16:51,693 --> 00:16:53,684 Oh, the cow in the meadow goes "moo" 254 00:16:53,895 --> 00:16:56,193 Then the farmer hits him And grinds him up 255 00:16:56,431 --> 00:16:58,558 And that's how we get hamburgers 256 00:17:01,570 --> 00:17:04,903 Now chickens! 257 00:17:06,241 --> 00:17:08,232 Only you who can save her, Drake! 258 00:17:08,510 --> 00:17:11,070 Damn it! I'm a doctor. I'm not God! 259 00:17:11,346 --> 00:17:13,405 There goes my whole belief system. 260 00:17:15,784 --> 00:17:17,046 It's Erika. 261 00:17:17,285 --> 00:17:18,752 Quick! Shut off the TV. 262 00:17:19,021 --> 00:17:20,750 I wanna see what happens! 263 00:17:21,023 --> 00:17:23,253 I get Leslie out of the coma then we make out. 264 00:17:23,525 --> 00:17:25,857 How can that be? You were kissing Sabrina! 265 00:17:26,094 --> 00:17:29,928 Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neurosurgeon. 266 00:17:33,368 --> 00:17:34,767 Hey, Erika. Come in. 267 00:17:34,970 --> 00:17:38,235 How did you get here so fast? I just saw you in Salem. 268 00:17:38,540 --> 00:17:41,441 Right, they choppered me in. 269 00:17:41,943 --> 00:17:43,137 What's up? 270 00:17:43,378 --> 00:17:45,369 You're having a little party too! 271 00:17:45,647 --> 00:17:47,911 -ls she here? -Who? 272 00:17:48,216 --> 00:17:50,377 Sabrina. I know about you two! 273 00:17:50,585 --> 00:17:53,577 I saw you today, kissing in the doctor's lounge. 274 00:17:55,323 --> 00:17:56,790 It's not what you think 275 00:17:56,992 --> 00:17:59,586 You told me I was the only one! 276 00:18:03,331 --> 00:18:04,992 All right, look. That's it. 277 00:18:05,267 --> 00:18:07,167 We shouldn't see each other anymore. 278 00:18:07,502 --> 00:18:09,800 I should have told you a long time ago... 279 00:18:10,005 --> 00:18:11,996 ... but I am not Drake Ramoray. 280 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:16,142 I'm not even a doctor. I'm an actor. I just pretend to be a doctor. 281 00:18:16,411 --> 00:18:19,505 Oh, my God! Do the people at the hospital know? 282 00:18:23,418 --> 00:18:25,409 Somebody wanna help me out here? 283 00:18:25,654 --> 00:18:27,747 Oh, I know! I know! 284 00:18:28,323 --> 00:18:29,654 Where am I? 285 00:18:29,925 --> 00:18:31,358 University Hospital... 286 00:18:31,626 --> 00:18:34,186 ... where you've been for the last 18 years. 287 00:18:35,630 --> 00:18:37,359 How can you be here and there? 288 00:18:38,100 --> 00:18:39,692 Because it's a TV show! 289 00:18:40,502 --> 00:18:42,163 What are you getting at? 290 00:18:43,863 --> 00:18:46,863 Nice girl, not great with concept. 291 00:18:47,806 --> 00:18:49,273 I'm not Drake! 292 00:18:49,574 --> 00:18:52,338 That's right! He's not Drake. He's... 293 00:18:53,178 --> 00:18:55,339 ... Hans Ramoray, Drake's evil twin! 294 00:19:00,852 --> 00:19:01,944 Is this true? 295 00:19:03,288 --> 00:19:05,279 Yes! Yes, it is true! 296 00:19:05,590 --> 00:19:07,285 And I know this... 297 00:19:07,592 --> 00:19:10,857 ... because he pretended to be Drake to sleep with me! 298 00:19:17,302 --> 00:19:20,100 And then he told me he would run away with me! 299 00:19:20,305 --> 00:19:21,533 And he didn't! 300 00:19:23,642 --> 00:19:26,975 And you left the toilet seat up, you bastard! 301 00:19:32,217 --> 00:19:33,377 Is all this true? 302 00:19:38,623 --> 00:19:40,454 Yes, I'm afraid it is. 303 00:19:40,859 --> 00:19:42,884 You deserve much better than me. 304 00:19:43,161 --> 00:19:47,393 You deserve to be with the real Drake. He's the one you fell in love with. 305 00:19:47,966 --> 00:19:50,025 Go to Salem. Find him! 306 00:19:50,335 --> 00:19:52,303 He's the guy for you! 307 00:19:52,504 --> 00:19:54,062 Oh, Hans! 308 00:19:57,008 --> 00:19:57,997 Hans? 309 00:19:58,243 --> 00:19:59,232 Hans! 310 00:20:00,812 --> 00:20:01,801 Yo, evil twin! 311 00:20:03,315 --> 00:20:05,579 Right. Goodbye, Erika. 312 00:20:07,319 --> 00:20:09,150 Good luck in Salem. 313 00:20:10,388 --> 00:20:11,252 Take care. 314 00:20:12,390 --> 00:20:14,051 I'll never forget you, Hans. 315 00:20:19,064 --> 00:20:21,658 All right. The people who threw the water! 316 00:20:22,867 --> 00:20:23,834 Helping you out! 317 00:20:24,068 --> 00:20:25,433 Fired? 318 00:20:25,836 --> 00:20:27,098 Why? 319 00:20:27,404 --> 00:20:30,771 The library board got a lot of complaints from parents... 320 00:20:31,008 --> 00:20:32,498 ...about the stuff in your songs. 321 00:20:32,710 --> 00:20:35,405 I can't believe this is the libery! 322 00:20:36,405 --> 00:20:40,405 -I mean, books, freespeech, newspapers on sticks. -I know. 323 00:20:41,405 --> 00:20:42,612 What about the kids. 324 00:20:42,612 --> 00:20:46,776 Did you tell your board that the kids want to hear the truth? 325 00:20:51,720 --> 00:20:52,709 I see. 326 00:20:52,955 --> 00:20:56,823 Maybe if you just played some regular kiddy songs? 327 00:20:57,893 --> 00:21:00,293 What do you want me to be? Like some... 328 00:21:00,495 --> 00:21:04,261 ...stupid, big, like, purple dinosaur? 329 00:21:05,300 --> 00:21:06,767 You don't have to be Barney. 330 00:21:06,969 --> 00:21:08,664 Who's Barney? 331 00:21:32,409 --> 00:21:35,936 I tracked down Marcel and get this. He's healthy, he's happy... 332 00:21:36,213 --> 00:21:40,115 ...and he's in New York filming Outbreak 2: The Virus Takes Manhattan. 333 00:21:40,383 --> 00:21:41,509 You're kidding! 334 00:21:42,085 --> 00:21:43,746 -This is amazing! -I know. 335 00:21:44,054 --> 00:21:47,353 I finally get a part on TV, and the monkey's making movies. 336 00:21:49,426 --> 00:21:50,450 Rachel, I'm ready. 337 00:21:55,298 --> 00:21:59,735 Excuse me. Is this where the singing lady is, who tells the truth? 338 00:22:00,604 --> 00:22:01,798 I guess that's me. 339 00:22:03,573 --> 00:22:05,564 She's here! 340 00:22:13,650 --> 00:22:15,948 Sometimes men love women 341 00:22:16,219 --> 00:22:18,779 Sometimes men love men 342 00:22:19,155 --> 00:22:21,589 Then there are bisexuals 343 00:22:21,791 --> 00:22:24,726 Though some just say They're kidding themselves 344 00:22:34,938 --> 00:22:37,463 This is exciting! I haven't seen my monkey in a year. 345 00:22:37,741 --> 00:22:40,141 What, you never look down in the shower? 346 00:22:41,244 --> 00:22:45,010 I'm not allowed to make one joke in the "monkey is penis" genre? 347 00:22:45,749 --> 00:22:46,977 Back up, please. 348 00:22:47,250 --> 00:22:48,581 Back up. Come on. 349 00:22:48,852 --> 00:22:51,343 Excuse me. Where can we find the monkey? 350 00:22:51,621 --> 00:22:53,020 I'm sorry. It's a closed set. 351 00:22:53,290 --> 00:22:56,453 I'm sorry, you don't understand. I'm a friend of his. 352 00:22:56,693 --> 00:22:58,752 We used to live together. 353 00:22:58,995 --> 00:23:02,158 And I have a time share in the Poconos with Flipper. 354 00:23:05,268 --> 00:23:06,166 There he is! 355 00:23:06,836 --> 00:23:08,531 Hey! Buddy! 356 00:23:08,805 --> 00:23:11,137 Marcel! Marcel! 357 00:23:17,847 --> 00:23:19,178 In the jungle 358 00:23:19,449 --> 00:23:21,280 The mighty jungle 359 00:23:21,518 --> 00:23:24,282 The lion sleeps tonight 360 00:23:27,223 --> 00:23:30,124 In the jungle The mighty jungle 361 00:23:30,360 --> 00:23:33,193 The lion sleeps tonight 362 00:24:03,625 --> 00:24:04,922 Excuse me, this is a 363 00:24:05,159 --> 00:24:08,458 Closed set. We know. But we're friends with the monkey. 364 00:24:10,932 --> 00:24:12,160 Good morning. 365 00:24:12,667 --> 00:24:14,066 Look who I brought! 366 00:24:14,268 --> 00:24:16,202 Your old friend, Harry Elafonte! 367 00:24:19,707 --> 00:24:22,767 Whoa, dude. Burn! 368 00:24:23,044 --> 00:24:24,375 I don't get it. 369 00:24:24,612 --> 00:24:26,705 He seemed so happy to see me yesterday. 370 00:24:26,948 --> 00:24:31,248 Don't take it personal. He's under pressure, starring in a movie and all. 371 00:24:32,954 --> 00:24:34,945 How big of a star is Marcel? 372 00:24:35,189 --> 00:24:38,181 In human terms? I'd say... 373 00:24:38,559 --> 00:24:40,186 ... Cybill Shepherd. 374 00:24:43,364 --> 00:24:47,266 So you guys in the movie or you just really paranoid? 375 00:24:48,636 --> 00:24:49,625 Hey, Sal? 376 00:24:49,904 --> 00:24:52,031 Jerry wants to know if the monkey's ready. 377 00:24:52,273 --> 00:24:53,137 Excuse me? 378 00:24:53,441 --> 00:24:56,137 Jerry is the director? Which one's he? 379 00:24:56,410 --> 00:24:59,906 -The one in the director's chair? -Gotcha. 380 00:25:00,614 --> 00:25:02,980 Pheebs, walk with me. 381 00:25:04,484 --> 00:25:05,917 Why am I walking with you? 382 00:25:06,119 --> 00:25:09,577 We're just going over here so that we can get away from... 383 00:25:09,789 --> 00:25:12,314 ...the horrible flesh-eating virus! 384 00:25:12,559 --> 00:25:14,925 For the love of God, woman, listen to me! 385 00:25:15,462 --> 00:25:17,396 Is he looking? Is he looking? 386 00:25:24,084 --> 00:25:26,416 -We've got a problem. -Tell me. 387 00:25:26,653 --> 00:25:28,018 I can't do Chris' makeup. 388 00:25:28,288 --> 00:25:30,586 She refuses to acknowledge her mustache. 389 00:25:30,858 --> 00:25:33,986 -ls it bad? -lt looks like her eyebrow fell down. 390 00:25:34,261 --> 00:25:36,752 Unless we convince her to let me bleach it... 391 00:25:36,997 --> 00:25:39,465 ...Van Damme will be making out with Gabe Kaplan. 392 00:25:40,601 --> 00:25:42,364 I'll talk to her. 393 00:25:42,870 --> 00:25:44,599 I hate actors. 394 00:25:45,472 --> 00:25:49,431 Nice camouflage. For a minute there, I almost didn't see you. 395 00:25:52,679 --> 00:25:53,509 Excuse me. 396 00:25:56,850 --> 00:25:58,215 Is your name Chandler? 397 00:25:58,485 --> 00:25:59,679 Yes, it is. 398 00:26:00,154 --> 00:26:01,018 Chandler Bing. 399 00:26:01,655 --> 00:26:04,783 Do you know me or are you just really good at this game? 400 00:26:05,125 --> 00:26:06,183 I'm Susie Moss. 401 00:26:06,860 --> 00:26:08,794 Fourth grade? Glasses? 402 00:26:09,463 --> 00:26:12,557 I carried a box of animal crackers like a purse? 403 00:26:12,833 --> 00:26:13,800 Susie Moss! 404 00:26:14,168 --> 00:26:15,999 Right! Yeah! Wow! 405 00:26:16,870 --> 00:26:18,167 You look.... 406 00:26:18,639 --> 00:26:20,903 Great job growing up. 407 00:26:21,141 --> 00:26:25,510 It's nice to see you don't still wear the cap with the mirrors on it. 408 00:26:25,712 --> 00:26:29,239 I graduated fourth grade and realized I wasn't a pimp. 409 00:26:29,683 --> 00:26:31,310 Remember the class play? 410 00:26:31,518 --> 00:26:35,887 You pulled up my skirt and the entire auditorium saw my underpants? 411 00:26:37,558 --> 00:26:41,722 Yes. Back then, I used humor as a defense mechanism. 412 00:26:41,929 --> 00:26:44,329 Thank God I don't do that anymore. 413 00:26:48,329 --> 00:26:50,329 What you have been doing since childhood? 414 00:26:50,729 --> 00:26:53,729 Well, I got a new belt. 415 00:26:54,329 --> 00:26:55,329 I wondered! 416 00:27:00,069 --> 00:27:01,536 -Oh, my God! -What? What? 417 00:27:02,271 --> 00:27:04,068 It's Jean-Claude Van Damme. 418 00:27:04,273 --> 00:27:06,935 I didn't know he was in this movie. He is so hot! 419 00:27:07,777 --> 00:27:08,607 You think? 420 00:27:09,111 --> 00:27:12,342 The Muscles from Brussels? Wham-Bam-Van-Damme? 421 00:27:12,582 --> 00:27:13,879 Did you see Time Cop? 422 00:27:14,116 --> 00:27:15,549 No. Was he any good in it? 423 00:27:15,785 --> 00:27:18,447 Rachel, he totally changed time! 424 00:27:20,556 --> 00:27:22,547 So why don't you go talk to him? 425 00:27:23,693 --> 00:27:26,719 Go tell him he's cute. What's the worst that could happen? 426 00:27:27,129 --> 00:27:28,221 He could hear me. 427 00:27:30,032 --> 00:27:32,523 -I'm doing it for you. -Don't you dare! Don't! 428 00:27:32,869 --> 00:27:33,699 Don't! 429 00:27:34,237 --> 00:27:35,898 Tell him I cook! 430 00:27:37,139 --> 00:27:38,470 Excuse me. 431 00:27:40,743 --> 00:27:43,405 This is gonna sound kind of goofy... 432 00:27:45,081 --> 00:27:47,481 ... but my friend over there... 433 00:27:47,917 --> 00:27:50,283 ...who cooks, by the way.... 434 00:27:50,987 --> 00:27:52,147 She thinks you're cute. 435 00:27:52,655 --> 00:27:54,213 You don't think I'm cute? 436 00:27:55,791 --> 00:27:57,418 I don't know. 437 00:27:57,960 --> 00:27:59,587 Do you think you're cute? 438 00:28:01,964 --> 00:28:05,730 We're getting off the track. I was supposed to tell you... 439 00:28:06,002 --> 00:28:08,232 ... my friend thinks you're cute. 440 00:28:08,738 --> 00:28:09,898 What should I tell her? 441 00:28:10,106 --> 00:28:14,770 You can tell her I think her friend is cute. 442 00:28:37,652 --> 00:28:40,416 -Makeup! -That's me. I gotta go. 443 00:28:44,525 --> 00:28:49,155 How many times must I touch you on the arm before you ask me on a date? 444 00:28:51,132 --> 00:28:53,100 Well, let's try one more. 445 00:28:54,869 --> 00:28:56,860 There you go. Ernie's, 8:00? 446 00:28:57,171 --> 00:28:58,468 I'll be there. 447 00:28:58,673 --> 00:29:01,437 And if things go well, maybe this time... 448 00:29:01,676 --> 00:29:03,507 ... I'll get to see your underwear. 449 00:29:09,650 --> 00:29:11,948 No one was around to hear that? 450 00:29:17,124 --> 00:29:18,614 So what'd he say? 451 00:29:18,893 --> 00:29:20,554 What a jerk! 452 00:29:20,861 --> 00:29:24,228 I kept talking about you, and he kept asking me out. 453 00:29:26,634 --> 00:29:29,364 Naturally, you know, I said no. 454 00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:33,704 Thanks, anyway. 455 00:29:33,908 --> 00:29:35,535 He just kept asking... 456 00:29:35,810 --> 00:29:37,641 ...and asking, asking, asking.... 457 00:29:38,679 --> 00:29:40,909 If you want to go out with him, you can. 458 00:29:42,249 --> 00:29:44,479 Sounds like a jerk to me, but 459 00:29:44,719 --> 00:29:47,813 Jean-Claude, she said yes! I'll see you tonight! 460 00:29:50,491 --> 00:29:51,981 Thank you. 461 00:29:58,532 --> 00:30:01,126 Then Jean-Claude took me to Crossroads... 462 00:30:01,401 --> 00:30:04,495 ...and we hung out with Drew Barrymore. 463 00:30:04,705 --> 00:30:06,866 Oh, man. She's so smokin'! 464 00:30:07,107 --> 00:30:08,870 She's got the greatest set of 465 00:30:12,713 --> 00:30:14,476 No guys around, huh? 466 00:30:15,982 --> 00:30:18,883 -Does anybody need anything? -I'll have an espresso. 467 00:30:19,152 --> 00:30:20,050 I'll get it. 468 00:30:20,320 --> 00:30:23,448 If I ask you to, you'll end up drinking it yourself. 469 00:30:26,393 --> 00:30:28,520 -That is so unfair. -I know. 470 00:30:28,729 --> 00:30:32,665 Like you'd drink her coffee after what you did to her with Van Damme? 471 00:30:34,468 --> 00:30:36,629 I have to cancel racquetball tonight. 472 00:30:37,003 --> 00:30:40,131 Marcel's trainer will let me have him for a couple of hours. 473 00:30:40,407 --> 00:30:42,136 You're blowing me off for a monkey? 474 00:30:42,409 --> 00:30:44,070 We can reschedule for Saturday. 475 00:30:45,345 --> 00:30:48,075 Unless you hook up with a bunch of pigeons. 476 00:30:49,516 --> 00:30:50,915 Stick a fork in me... 477 00:30:51,785 --> 00:30:53,082 ... I am done! 478 00:30:54,521 --> 00:30:55,783 Stick a fork what? 479 00:30:56,022 --> 00:30:58,081 Like when you're cooking a steak. 480 00:30:58,291 --> 00:30:59,918 I don't eat meat. 481 00:31:01,828 --> 00:31:03,693 How do you know vegetables are done? 482 00:31:03,964 --> 00:31:06,990 Well, you don't. You eat them and you can tell. 483 00:31:07,267 --> 00:31:08,928 Okay, then eat me, I'm done! 484 00:31:12,873 --> 00:31:14,465 I've met the perfect woman. 485 00:31:14,674 --> 00:31:17,438 We're sitting on her couch, fooling around... 486 00:31:17,677 --> 00:31:20,168 ...and then she turns to me and says: 487 00:31:20,447 --> 00:31:22,847 "Did you ever want to do it in an elevator?" 488 00:31:23,950 --> 00:31:24,848 What did you say? 489 00:31:25,118 --> 00:31:27,484 I believe my exact words were.... 490 00:31:30,157 --> 00:31:32,352 How do you know if you wanna do that? 491 00:31:32,659 --> 00:31:33,648 You just know. 492 00:31:43,468 --> 00:31:46,130 We gotta go. Got a reservation in 30 minutes. 493 00:31:48,239 --> 00:31:52,232 What I had planned shouldn't take more than two, three minutes, tops. 494 00:31:53,645 --> 00:31:56,478 Two hundred seconds of passion! We gotta go. 495 00:31:58,183 --> 00:31:59,241 But... 496 00:32:00,151 --> 00:32:01,914 ... here's an idea. 497 00:32:03,221 --> 00:32:05,917 Have you ever worn women's underwear? 498 00:32:06,891 --> 00:32:09,655 Well, yes, actually... 499 00:32:10,562 --> 00:32:12,587 ... but they were my Aunt Edna's. 500 00:32:13,498 --> 00:32:15,489 And there were three of us in there. 501 00:32:16,734 --> 00:32:19,862 I was thinking it would be kind of sexy... 502 00:32:20,104 --> 00:32:23,232 ...if you wore mine tonight at dinner. 503 00:32:27,879 --> 00:32:30,074 You want me to wear your panties? 504 00:32:30,782 --> 00:32:31,612 Could you? 505 00:32:32,116 --> 00:32:34,744 If I was wearing your underwear... 506 00:32:35,053 --> 00:32:36,884 ...then what would you be wearing? 507 00:32:43,795 --> 00:32:45,285 You're swell! 508 00:32:50,285 --> 00:32:52,285 Got the music, got the dinner. 509 00:32:52,899 --> 00:32:55,459 I made Marcel's favorite dish, banana cake... 510 00:32:56,135 --> 00:32:57,693 ...with mealworm. 511 00:33:02,542 --> 00:33:04,066 Candle. 512 00:33:05,245 --> 00:33:08,078 What do you think's gonna happen here tonight? 513 00:33:14,287 --> 00:33:16,482 Hi, are you on your way over 514 00:33:21,661 --> 00:33:24,391 No, I understand. A monkey's gotta work. 515 00:33:26,765 --> 00:33:27,993 It's no big deal. 516 00:33:28,233 --> 00:33:32,294 It's not like I had anything special planned. 517 00:33:53,294 --> 00:33:54,294 -You feel that? -what? 518 00:33:54,894 --> 00:33:57,894 We passed moment we should stop holding hands. 519 00:34:01,616 --> 00:34:05,382 Rachel, why don't you start talking first? 520 00:34:06,120 --> 00:34:08,247 I feel that this is totally unjustified. 521 00:34:08,523 --> 00:34:11,583 She gave me the green light, I did nothing 522 00:34:13,895 --> 00:34:16,591 Do you think I can't see you in the TV set? 523 00:34:20,768 --> 00:34:23,100 If there's something you'd like to share 524 00:34:23,371 --> 00:34:24,929 You had no right to go out with him! 525 00:34:25,206 --> 00:34:28,198 -That's the most ridiculous -You sold me out! 526 00:34:28,409 --> 00:34:30,274 -I did not! -You absolutely 527 00:34:30,478 --> 00:34:32,446 Would you let me talk! 528 00:34:35,383 --> 00:34:37,078 Did you just flick me? 529 00:34:38,719 --> 00:34:41,620 Well, you wouldn't let me finish and I was 530 00:34:43,057 --> 00:34:44,957 That hurt! 531 00:34:45,493 --> 00:34:46,619 Quit flicking! 532 00:34:46,894 --> 00:34:47,883 Stop flicking! 533 00:34:48,563 --> 00:34:49,757 You flicked me first! 534 00:34:56,304 --> 00:34:57,669 Let's not do this! 535 00:35:01,175 --> 00:35:02,142 Happy thoughts! 536 00:35:12,119 --> 00:35:13,814 Now I'm gonna kick some ass! 537 00:35:22,863 --> 00:35:26,629 All right. Now, I will let go if you both stop. 538 00:35:27,535 --> 00:35:29,833 You want me to stop seeing him? 539 00:35:31,105 --> 00:35:34,438 You want me to just tell him you're seeing him instead? 540 00:35:34,675 --> 00:35:36,700 Is that what you want? 541 00:35:38,980 --> 00:35:40,880 That's what you want? 542 00:35:43,451 --> 00:35:45,681 -Fine! -Fine! 543 00:35:45,953 --> 00:35:47,318 There we go. 544 00:35:48,522 --> 00:35:52,185 If we were in prison, you guys would be, like, my bitches. 545 00:36:00,102 --> 00:36:01,933 Thanks for letting me tag along. 546 00:36:02,237 --> 00:36:03,465 Forget about it. 547 00:36:04,706 --> 00:36:06,537 How you doing there, squirmy? 548 00:36:06,975 --> 00:36:08,567 I'm hanging in. 549 00:36:09,077 --> 00:36:10,271 And a little out. 550 00:36:13,548 --> 00:36:16,312 So assistant to the director? 551 00:36:16,585 --> 00:36:20,453 That's an exciting job. You must have a ton of responsibilities 552 00:36:20,656 --> 00:36:22,123 I don't do the casting. 553 00:36:22,324 --> 00:36:24,258 So what are you guys gonna eat? 554 00:36:26,161 --> 00:36:30,291 How come all I can think about is putting that ice in my mouth... 555 00:36:30,499 --> 00:36:33,400 ...and licking you all over? 556 00:36:35,304 --> 00:36:39,434 Because I went to an all-boys high school, and God is making up for it? 557 00:36:48,245 --> 00:36:50,179 I want you right here... 558 00:36:50,381 --> 00:36:52,008 ... right now. 559 00:36:52,216 --> 00:36:53,877 Right now, right here? 560 00:36:54,318 --> 00:36:56,912 Don't you think we're in kind of a public place? 561 00:37:00,057 --> 00:37:01,547 They do have the shrimp. 562 00:37:04,195 --> 00:37:06,220 Meet me in the bathroom. 563 00:37:12,703 --> 00:37:14,603 I'm going to the bathroom now. 564 00:37:33,215 --> 00:37:34,512 Come on. 565 00:37:39,718 --> 00:37:41,117 All right, mister. 566 00:37:41,587 --> 00:37:43,578 Let's see those panties. 567 00:37:44,723 --> 00:37:46,281 Alrighty. 568 00:37:49,928 --> 00:37:53,193 But you know what would be even sexier? 569 00:37:53,432 --> 00:37:54,421 What? 570 00:37:55,067 --> 00:37:57,968 If you didn't have your shirt tucked into them. 571 00:38:00,739 --> 00:38:05,267 All right. Now, I would like to see you wearing nothing but them. 572 00:38:05,477 --> 00:38:07,775 Take your clothes off. 573 00:38:08,080 --> 00:38:12,540 I hope you realize this means we'll miss hearing about the specials. 574 00:38:14,386 --> 00:38:15,318 Come on, hurry! 575 00:38:15,554 --> 00:38:18,455 Do you want this done quick or done right? 576 00:38:18,957 --> 00:38:22,415 All right, turn around. I wanna see you from behind. 577 00:38:23,328 --> 00:38:27,492 Somebody's been doing his Buns of Steel video. 578 00:38:27,733 --> 00:38:31,328 So you want me to clench anything or...? 579 00:38:34,139 --> 00:38:35,538 Susie? 580 00:38:38,609 --> 00:38:40,770 This is for the fourth grade. 581 00:38:44,215 --> 00:38:46,080 -What do you mean? -What do I mean? 582 00:38:46,283 --> 00:38:47,341 What do I mean?! 583 00:38:47,551 --> 00:38:50,179 I mean underpants, mister! That's what I mean! 584 00:38:51,355 --> 00:38:52,788 What? What do you mean? 585 00:38:52,990 --> 00:38:54,184 My skirt... 586 00:38:54,392 --> 00:38:57,225 ...you lifted. IKids laughing! 587 00:38:57,495 --> 00:38:59,963 I was Susie Underpants till I was 18! 588 00:39:02,033 --> 00:39:05,298 That was in fourth grade! How could you still be upset? 589 00:39:06,971 --> 00:39:10,907 Call me in 20 years and tell me if you're still upset about this. 590 00:39:16,047 --> 00:39:19,483 I hope you realize you're not getting these underpants back! 591 00:39:29,427 --> 00:39:31,156 I can't believe this. 592 00:39:31,362 --> 00:39:34,695 Just two weeks ago, I was watching Sudden Death... 593 00:39:34,899 --> 00:39:38,232 ...and now I'm on a date with Jean-Claude Van Damme. 594 00:39:38,602 --> 00:39:40,331 Can you beat up that guy? 595 00:39:42,039 --> 00:39:44,564 -Can you beat up that guy? -Sure. 596 00:39:44,775 --> 00:39:46,868 This is so wild. 597 00:39:47,411 --> 00:39:52,348 I gotta admit, I was surprised that you agreed to go on a blind date. 598 00:39:52,683 --> 00:39:54,514 Normally, I would not do it. 599 00:39:56,020 --> 00:39:58,955 What made you make the exception for me? 600 00:39:59,190 --> 00:40:00,282 Rachel told me... 601 00:40:00,524 --> 00:40:04,255 ...you were dying to have a threesome with me and Drew Barrymore. 602 00:40:04,462 --> 00:40:07,625 By the way, Drew has some ground rules and.... 603 00:40:10,400 --> 00:40:11,992 Say you're sorry! 604 00:40:13,802 --> 00:40:14,826 Say it! 605 00:40:15,103 --> 00:40:16,934 No! I'm not gonna! 606 00:40:18,607 --> 00:40:21,098 Say it! Say it! Great! 607 00:40:23,345 --> 00:40:26,280 Say you're sorry or your sweater gets it. 608 00:40:27,849 --> 00:40:31,012 That is my favorite sweater! That is my third-date sweater! 609 00:40:32,654 --> 00:40:35,088 Say you're sorry. 610 00:40:35,924 --> 00:40:38,859 You wanna play? Okay, let's play. 611 00:40:39,127 --> 00:40:40,185 Let's play. 612 00:40:46,001 --> 00:40:46,990 What'll you do? 613 00:40:47,202 --> 00:40:50,035 Give me back my sweater or it's handbag marinara. 614 00:40:53,308 --> 00:40:54,605 You don't have the guts. 615 00:40:55,377 --> 00:40:59,143 Yeah? At least I wasn't too chicken to tell some guy he was cute. 616 00:41:09,358 --> 00:41:12,452 Stop! Stop the madness! 617 00:41:16,131 --> 00:41:17,689 This is crazy! 618 00:41:17,899 --> 00:41:20,891 Who can remember why you're fighting in the first place? 619 00:41:25,674 --> 00:41:26,971 Yes, that's right. 620 00:41:29,311 --> 00:41:31,006 But still.... 621 00:41:31,380 --> 00:41:32,677 Look at your purse! 622 00:41:34,049 --> 00:41:35,983 Look at your sweater! 623 00:41:37,018 --> 00:41:38,918 Look at yourselves! 624 00:41:42,357 --> 00:41:44,382 I'll help you fix your sweater. 625 00:41:44,659 --> 00:41:46,058 I'll help you... 626 00:41:46,328 --> 00:41:48,091 ...throw out your purse. 627 00:41:51,765 --> 00:41:54,029 I'm sorry I made you stop seeing him. 628 00:41:55,502 --> 00:41:59,029 I'm sorry I went out with him when I knew you liked him. 629 00:42:00,940 --> 00:42:03,932 I'm sorry that I borrowed your gloves. 630 00:42:24,631 --> 00:42:25,563 Joey? 631 00:42:25,765 --> 00:42:26,754 Ma? 632 00:42:31,871 --> 00:42:35,238 What are you doing here? I thought you guys took off. 633 00:42:35,474 --> 00:42:37,408 She took off with my clothes! 634 00:42:40,212 --> 00:42:42,874 -Are you naked in there? -Well, not exactly. 635 00:42:44,717 --> 00:42:46,548 I'm wearing panties. 636 00:42:50,823 --> 00:42:52,757 You always wear panties? 637 00:42:53,893 --> 00:42:56,987 No, no. This is the first time. 638 00:42:58,064 --> 00:43:00,532 Talk about your bad luck! 639 00:43:01,567 --> 00:43:05,765 The first time you try panties and someone walks off with your clothes. 640 00:43:07,006 --> 00:43:10,442 I was not trying them out. Susie asked me to wear them. 641 00:43:11,243 --> 00:43:12,073 Let me see! 642 00:43:12,344 --> 00:43:15,836 No! I'm not letting you or anybody else see, ever! 643 00:43:16,082 --> 00:43:17,777 All right, all right! 644 00:43:23,122 --> 00:43:25,249 Someone's flossing! 645 00:43:31,097 --> 00:43:33,588 Joey, some people don't like that. 646 00:43:35,434 --> 00:43:37,129 Chandler's wearing panties. 647 00:43:37,403 --> 00:43:38,427 What? 648 00:43:38,871 --> 00:43:41,931 -Let me see! -You don't have to see! 649 00:43:43,142 --> 00:43:44,700 Hi, tushy! 650 00:43:46,412 --> 00:43:48,778 One of you give me your underpants. 651 00:43:49,648 --> 00:43:51,047 I'm not wearing any. 652 00:43:53,652 --> 00:43:55,483 How can you not be wearing any? 653 00:43:55,754 --> 00:43:59,656 I'm getting heat from the guy in the hot pink thong. 654 00:44:00,659 --> 00:44:04,720 Look, Ross. I'll give you $50 for your underpants. 655 00:44:31,990 --> 00:44:34,584 -Can I have the milk? -I'm almost done with it. 656 00:44:34,827 --> 00:44:36,488 Keep your panties on. 657 00:44:42,801 --> 00:44:44,132 And I'm in the movie! 658 00:44:45,304 --> 00:44:47,795 -What happened? -A virus victim called in sick... 659 00:44:48,006 --> 00:44:52,170 ...so Cathy recommended me and boom! I'm dying on a gurney! 660 00:44:53,612 --> 00:44:57,571 Marcel just finished his last scene, if you wanna go say goodbye. 661 00:44:59,084 --> 00:45:03,145 That's okay. He's probably got parties to go to and stuff. 662 00:45:05,491 --> 00:45:08,983 He's moved on. That's the way it goes, right? 663 00:45:10,929 --> 00:45:11,827 Oh, my God! 664 00:45:12,698 --> 00:45:13,528 What? 665 00:45:18,770 --> 00:45:21,432 Looks like we made it 666 00:45:22,541 --> 00:45:25,533 Left each other on the way... 667 00:45:25,777 --> 00:45:27,438 ... to another love 668 00:45:32,551 --> 00:45:35,349 Looks like we made it 669 00:45:36,522 --> 00:45:39,548 Or I thought so, till today 670 00:45:39,791 --> 00:45:43,522 Until you were there, everywhere 671 00:45:44,129 --> 00:45:48,964 And all I could taste was Love the way we made it 672 00:45:53,171 --> 00:45:55,571 Looks like we made it 673 00:46:01,571 --> 00:46:05,571 I'm sorry. It has work between you and me. Or you and me. 674 00:46:05,971 --> 00:46:07,971 Drew was very disapoited. 675 00:46:19,571 --> 00:46:21,971 Well, bye for me too. 676 00:46:29,571 --> 00:46:31,571 Okay, we will bye-bye again. 677 00:46:38,571 --> 00:46:40,871 Perhaps the three of us. Just... 678 00:46:43,571 --> 00:46:46,571 Are you sure, I can crush longer with my butt. 679 00:46:47,571 --> 00:46:50,571 No, no, no...Impressive but no. 680 00:46:59,871 --> 00:47:01,871 Bye, Marcel! 681 00:47:02,571 --> 00:47:03,571 See you on the big screen. 682 00:47:05,571 --> 00:47:07,571 You keep people drinking that beer. 683 00:47:08,571 --> 00:47:10,571 I will miss you buddy. 684 00:47:31,978 --> 00:47:35,004 I think I want to write a song about all this. 685 00:47:36,483 --> 00:47:40,010 Except one of the strings on my guitar is broken. 686 00:47:40,220 --> 00:47:43,212 Chandler, can I borrow your G-string? 687 00:47:43,423 --> 00:47:46,881 -How long you been waiting to say that? -About 20 minutes! 688 00:47:53,731 --> 00:47:56,859 Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying! 689 00:47:58,970 --> 00:47:59,959 Cut! 690 00:48:00,705 --> 00:48:04,163 Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying! 691 00:48:06,077 --> 00:48:07,305 Cut! 692 00:48:08,713 --> 00:48:12,240 Can't you see what's going on here? This man is dying! 693 00:48:14,152 --> 00:48:15,813 Mommy! 694 00:48:16,721 --> 00:48:19,986 Can't you see what's going on? This man is dead!