Friends Season 1 Episode 10

Subtitles
​1 00:00:05,972 --> 00:00:08,998 All right! You guys, it's starting to ❄️. 2 00:00:09,809 --> 00:00:14,007 And look, Ugly Naked Guy is hanging candy canes. 3 00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:15,442 Where? 4 00:00:16,483 --> 00:00:19,145 Oh. Well. 5 00:00:19,352 --> 00:00:21,411 That's festive. 6 00:00:23,556 --> 00:00:27,014 Guys, there's somebody I'd like you to meet. 7 00:00:29,596 --> 00:00:31,325 Wait, wait. What is that? 8 00:00:31,531 --> 00:00:34,523 -That's Marcel. Wanna say hi? -No, I don't. 9 00:00:34,734 --> 00:00:39,262 -He's cute! Where'd you get him? -My friend Bethel saved him from a lab. 10 00:00:39,472 --> 00:00:40,837 That is so cruel. 11 00:00:41,041 --> 00:00:44,272 Why would a parent name their child Bethel? 12 00:00:47,447 --> 00:00:50,245 That monkey's got a Ross on his ass. 13 00:00:54,721 --> 00:00:57,622 Is he gonna live with you in your apartment? 14 00:00:57,891 --> 00:01:00,917 Yeah. It's been kind of quiet since Carol left. 15 00:01:01,294 --> 00:01:03,091 Why not get a roommate? 16 00:01:03,296 --> 00:01:08,427 You reach a certain age, having a roommate is just kind of pathet 17 00:01:11,104 --> 00:01:15,404 That's " pathet. " Sanskrit for " really cool way to live. " 18 00:01:16,910 --> 00:01:19,003 The One With the Monkey 19 00:02:04,958 --> 00:02:07,256 I' m doing new material tonight. 20 00:02:07,460 --> 00:02:12,090 I have 1 2 songs about my mother's suicide and one about a snowman. 21 00:02:14,234 --> 00:02:16,930 You might wanna open with the snowman. 22 00:02:18,138 --> 00:02:20,402 -Hi, Joey. -Hey, buddy. 23 00:02:20,607 --> 00:02:24,703 -So how'd it go? -I didn't get the job. 24 00:02:25,712 --> 00:02:28,647 How could you not? You were Santa last year. 25 00:02:29,716 --> 00:02:33,777 Some fat guy's sleeping with the store manager. 26 00:02:35,088 --> 00:02:37,921 He's not even jolly. It's all political. 27 00:02:38,158 --> 00:02:41,423 -What are you gonna be? -One of his helpers. 28 00:02:41,628 --> 00:02:44,620 It's just such a slap in the face, you know? 29 00:02:44,831 --> 00:02:48,130 Do you know what you' re doing for New Year's? 30 00:02:49,435 --> 00:02:52,165 Hey, what? What is wrong with New Year's? 31 00:02:52,372 --> 00:02:56,638 You have Paolo. You don't have to face the pressure... 32 00:02:56,876 --> 00:03:00,869 ...of finding lips to kiss when the ball drops! 33 00:03:01,080 --> 00:03:02,809 Man, I'm talking loud! 34 00:03:04,384 --> 00:03:07,876 Paolo's gonna be in Rome this New Year's. 35 00:03:08,087 --> 00:03:12,114 -I'll be just as pathetic as you. -Yeah, you wish. 36 00:03:13,893 --> 00:03:16,054 I've got an idea. Dinner. 37 00:03:16,262 --> 00:03:20,130 It's perfect. We'll put it between lunch and breakfast. 38 00:03:21,801 --> 00:03:25,567 I'm sick of being a victim of this Dick Clark holiday. 39 00:03:25,772 --> 00:03:30,004 I say this year, we make a pact. Just the six of us. Dinner. 40 00:03:30,210 --> 00:03:31,541 -Sure. -Fine. 41 00:03:31,811 --> 00:03:34,177 I was hoping for more enthusiasm. 42 00:03:37,016 --> 00:03:39,484 -Phoebe, you' re on. -Oh, good. 43 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:43,450 Hi. Ladies and gentlemen, back by popular demand... 44 00:03:43,656 --> 00:03:45,851 ... Miss Phoebe Buffay. 45 00:03:49,295 --> 00:03:51,593 Hi. Thanks. Hi. 46 00:03:52,498 --> 00:03:56,298 I wanna start with a song that means a lot to me. 47 00:04:01,741 --> 00:04:04,801 I made a man with eyes of coal 48 00:04:05,078 --> 00:04:08,275 And a smile so bewitching 49 00:04:08,948 --> 00:04:11,473 How was I supposed to know 50 00:04:11,751 --> 00:04:14,618 That my mom was dead in the kitchen? 51 00:04:21,761 --> 00:04:24,093 My mother's ashes 52 00:04:24,597 --> 00:04:27,532 Even her eyelashes 53 00:04:27,867 --> 00:04:33,863 Are resting in a little yellow jar 54 00:04:36,409 --> 00:04:39,242 And sometimes when it's freezing 55 00:04:39,879 --> 00:04:42,211 I feel a little sneezy 56 00:04:42,915 --> 00:04:47,545 And now I Excuse me? Excuse me? Yeah, noisy boys. 57 00:04:49,222 --> 00:04:52,988 Is it something you'd like to share with the group? 58 00:04:54,127 --> 00:04:56,618 No. No, that's okay. 59 00:04:56,829 --> 00:04:59,764 If it's important enough while I'm playing... 60 00:04:59,966 --> 00:05:03,163 ...it's important enough for everyone else. 61 00:05:03,369 --> 00:05:06,031 That guy's going home with a note. 62 00:05:11,577 --> 00:05:13,807 -I was just saying -Speak up. 63 00:05:14,013 --> 00:05:15,139 Sorry, l 64 00:05:16,182 --> 00:05:20,585 I was saying you were the most beautiful woman I'd ever seen. 65 00:05:20,787 --> 00:05:22,982 And he said that Daryl Hannah... 66 00:05:23,189 --> 00:05:26,522 ...was the most beautiful woman he'd ever seen. 67 00:05:26,726 --> 00:05:29,923 I said I liked her in Splash, but not Wall Street. 68 00:05:30,129 --> 00:05:33,121 I thought she had a hard quality. 69 00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:37,466 While Daryl is beautiful in a conventional way... 70 00:05:37,670 --> 00:05:41,231 ...you are luminous with a kind of delicate grace. 71 00:05:43,810 --> 00:05:46,870 Then that's when you started yelling. 72 00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:56,951 We're gonna take a short break. 73 00:06:01,160 --> 00:06:04,288 That guy's going home with more than a note. 74 00:06:09,102 --> 00:06:10,865 Come here, Marcel. Sit here. 75 00:06:15,007 --> 00:06:17,976 I can't believe he hasn't kissed you yet. 76 00:06:18,177 --> 00:06:22,807 By my sixth date with Paolo, he'd already named both my breasts. 77 00:06:26,285 --> 00:06:28,651 Did I just share too much? 78 00:06:29,989 --> 00:06:31,786 Just a smidge. 79 00:06:32,492 --> 00:06:36,087 David's, like, a scientist guy. He's very methodical. 80 00:06:36,295 --> 00:06:38,354 -I think it's romantic. -Me too! 81 00:06:38,564 --> 00:06:42,125 Did you ever see An Officer and a Gentleman? 82 00:06:42,335 --> 00:06:45,964 He's kind of like the guy I went to see that with. 83 00:06:50,843 --> 00:06:55,041 Except he's smarter and gentler and sweeter. 84 00:06:55,648 --> 00:06:58,481 I just wanna be with him all the time. 85 00:06:58,751 --> 00:07:02,118 You know, day and night. And night and day. 86 00:07:02,321 --> 00:07:04,983 And special occasions. 87 00:07:07,226 --> 00:07:10,218 I see. You're gonna ask him to New Year's. 88 00:07:10,496 --> 00:07:14,557 -She's gonna break the pact. -No! No, no. 89 00:07:14,767 --> 00:07:16,894 No. Yeah, could I just? 90 00:07:19,672 --> 00:07:22,505 -Yeah. I already asked Janice. -What? 91 00:07:22,708 --> 00:07:25,438 This was a pact! This was your pact! 92 00:07:25,645 --> 00:07:28,273 I couldn't handle the pressure. I snapped! 93 00:07:28,481 --> 00:07:31,507 But that was the worst breakup in history! 94 00:07:31,717 --> 00:07:35,153 I'm not saying it was a good idea. I snapped! 95 00:07:36,489 --> 00:07:39,219 Hi, sorry I'm late. 96 00:07:47,867 --> 00:07:49,732 Too many jokes. 97 00:07:51,204 --> 00:07:52,535 Must mock Joey. 98 00:07:55,074 --> 00:07:57,065 Nice shoes, huh? 99 00:07:57,910 --> 00:07:59,741 God, you're killing me! 100 00:08:01,781 --> 00:08:05,046 Ross, he's playing with my spatulas again! 101 00:08:05,251 --> 00:08:09,984 -He's not gonna hurt them, right? -Do you always have to bring him? 102 00:08:11,290 --> 00:08:16,193 I didn't wanna leave him alone. We had our first fight this morning. 103 00:08:17,797 --> 00:08:23,064 It has to do with my working late. I said some things that I didn't mean. 104 00:08:24,871 --> 00:08:27,305 He threw some feces. 105 00:08:30,510 --> 00:08:33,536 If you're working late, I can look in on him. 106 00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:35,407 That would be great! 107 00:08:35,781 --> 00:08:39,547 But make sure it seems like you're there to see him. 108 00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:41,811 You're not doing it for me. 109 00:08:42,021 --> 00:08:45,047 Okay. But if he asks, I'm not going to lie. 110 00:08:51,597 --> 00:08:54,157 But you can't actually test this theory. 111 00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:58,463 T oday's particle accelerators aren't powerful enough... 112 00:08:58,771 --> 00:09:03,003 -...to simulate these conditions. -I have a question then. 113 00:09:03,209 --> 00:09:05,871 -Yeah? -Do you plan on kissing me ever? 114 00:09:09,916 --> 00:09:14,444 That's definitely a valid question, and the answer... 115 00:09:14,754 --> 00:09:18,349 ...would be yes. Yes, I was. 116 00:09:22,895 --> 00:09:26,092 But I wanted it to be this phenomenal kiss... 117 00:09:26,299 --> 00:09:29,530 ...at a phenomenal moment because it's you. 118 00:09:29,735 --> 00:09:30,827 Sure. 119 00:09:31,037 --> 00:09:35,030 The longer I waited, the more phenomenal the kiss had to be. 120 00:09:35,241 --> 00:09:39,268 Now, it's just gotta be one of those things where l... 121 00:09:39,579 --> 00:09:42,605 ...sweep everything off the table. 122 00:09:42,815 --> 00:09:45,613 And I'm not really a sweeping sort of fella. 123 00:09:45,918 --> 00:09:49,945 David, I think you are a sweeping sort of fella. 124 00:09:50,156 --> 00:09:54,422 I mean, you're a sweeper trapped inside a physicist's body. 125 00:09:55,461 --> 00:09:56,928 -Really? -I'm sure. 126 00:09:57,163 --> 00:10:00,064 You should just do it. Just throw me. 127 00:10:03,469 --> 00:10:05,767 -Now? -Yeah, right now. Just.... 128 00:10:05,972 --> 00:10:07,872 Okay. Okay. Okay. 129 00:10:10,743 --> 00:10:13,337 You know what? This is really expensive. 130 00:10:14,680 --> 00:10:16,648 And this was a gift. 131 00:10:17,783 --> 00:10:20,752 -Now you' re just tidying up. -Okay. 132 00:10:25,124 --> 00:10:28,116 -You want me to throw you? -I can hop. 133 00:10:44,510 --> 00:10:48,571 T ell me something, what does " no-date pact" mean to you? 134 00:10:48,781 --> 00:10:52,615 It's just that Chandler and Phoebe have somebody. 135 00:10:52,852 --> 00:10:54,820 I thought I'd ask Fun Bobby. 136 00:10:55,021 --> 00:10:57,114 -Your ex-boyfriend? -Yeah. 137 00:10:57,456 --> 00:11:02,018 -You know more than one Fun Bobby? -I happen to know a Fun Bob. 138 00:11:03,963 --> 00:11:08,457 -Okay. Here we go. -There's no room for milk. 139 00:11:13,873 --> 00:11:15,966 There. Now there is. 140 00:11:16,208 --> 00:11:20,611 So on our no-date evening, three of you now have dates. 141 00:11:21,080 --> 00:11:23,446 -Four. -Five. 142 00:11:24,283 --> 00:11:26,945 Sorry. Paolo's catching an earlier flight. 143 00:11:27,153 --> 00:11:30,520 And I met this really hot single mom at the store. 144 00:11:31,223 --> 00:11:32,815 What's an elf to do? 145 00:11:33,592 --> 00:11:37,926 So I'll be the only one alone when the ball drops? 146 00:11:38,197 --> 00:11:42,395 We'll have a big party, and no one will know who's with who. 147 00:11:42,601 --> 00:11:46,537 I'll know. This is so not what I needed right now. 148 00:11:46,739 --> 00:11:49,139 -What's the matter? -Oh, it's Marcel. 149 00:11:51,777 --> 00:11:56,680 He's angry with me. I have no idea why. He keeps shutting me out. 150 00:11:56,882 --> 00:12:00,545 He's walking around all the time, dragging his hands. 151 00:12:01,220 --> 00:12:04,280 That's weird. I had a blast with him. 152 00:12:04,490 --> 00:12:06,481 -Really? -We played, watched TV. 153 00:12:06,726 --> 00:12:09,217 That juggling thing is amazing. 154 00:12:12,198 --> 00:12:14,189 What juggling thing? 155 00:12:14,900 --> 00:12:17,892 With the socks? I figured you taught him that. 156 00:12:18,704 --> 00:12:19,864 No. 157 00:12:21,073 --> 00:12:25,169 It wasn't that big a deal. Just socks. And a melon. 158 00:12:29,315 --> 00:12:31,909 -Phoebe! -Max. Do you know everybody? 159 00:12:32,118 --> 00:12:34,678 No. Have you seen David? 160 00:12:35,287 --> 00:12:36,811 He hasn't been around. 161 00:12:37,022 --> 00:12:40,981 If you see him, tell him to pack. We are going to Minsk. 162 00:12:41,193 --> 00:12:43,753 -Minsk? -Minsk. It's in Russia. 163 00:12:44,797 --> 00:12:46,822 I know where Minsk is. 164 00:12:48,267 --> 00:12:52,169 We got the grant. Three years, all expenses paid. 165 00:12:52,371 --> 00:12:55,807 And if you're gonna do Minsk, that's the way to go. 166 00:12:56,709 --> 00:12:59,200 -So when do you leave? -January 1 st. 167 00:13:07,119 --> 00:13:12,022 -Hello? -What? Hey. Hi. 168 00:13:12,224 --> 00:13:15,819 -What are you doing here? -Max told me about Minsk. 169 00:13:16,028 --> 00:13:18,826 Congratulations! This is so exciting! 170 00:13:20,199 --> 00:13:23,168 It'd be even more exciting if we were going. 171 00:13:23,369 --> 00:13:26,065 Oh, you're not going? Oh, why? 172 00:13:27,239 --> 00:13:29,264 T ell her. " I don't wanna go... 173 00:13:29,475 --> 00:13:32,740 ...to work with Lipson, Yamaguchi and Flank. 174 00:13:32,945 --> 00:13:36,210 I wanna stay and make out with my girlfriend! " 175 00:13:36,415 --> 00:13:39,009 Okay, thank you, Max. Thank you. 176 00:13:40,419 --> 00:13:42,387 So you're really not going? 177 00:13:42,588 --> 00:13:45,716 I don't know what I'm gonna do. I just.... 178 00:13:45,925 --> 00:13:48,621 How can I leave you? I just found you. 179 00:13:48,828 --> 00:13:52,389 Oh, David. But what are you gonna do? 180 00:13:54,733 --> 00:13:57,065 I don't know. You decide. 181 00:13:57,269 --> 00:14:00,102 -Don't do that. -But l' m asking you. 182 00:14:00,306 --> 00:14:03,935 -I can't make a decision. Just -Okay. Stay. 183 00:14:06,245 --> 00:14:07,712 -Stay. -Stay. 184 00:14:15,688 --> 00:14:18,088 Getting so good at that! 185 00:14:19,391 --> 00:14:21,484 It was Max's stuff. 186 00:14:29,435 --> 00:14:32,165 I love this artichoke thing. 187 00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:35,829 Don't tell me what's in it. The diet starts tomorrow. 188 00:14:40,379 --> 00:14:42,677 You remember Janice. 189 00:14:43,749 --> 00:14:45,444 Vividly. 190 00:14:45,951 --> 00:14:49,682 -How are you? -I am fantastic. 191 00:14:49,889 --> 00:14:50,947 Now. 192 00:14:52,558 --> 00:14:56,289 It's amazing. We've been back together for what... 193 00:14:56,495 --> 00:14:59,328 -...Iike 1 0 minutes, and -ls that all? 194 00:15:00,633 --> 00:15:02,658 It's like we were never apart. 195 00:15:03,002 --> 00:15:06,438 Of course, we were, but Forgive and forget. 196 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:09,164 Well, forget. 197 00:15:19,852 --> 00:15:21,285 -Hi. -Hi, l' m Sandy. 198 00:15:21,487 --> 00:15:23,717 Sandy, hi. Come on in. 199 00:15:33,832 --> 00:15:37,996 -You brought your kids. -Yeah. That's okay, right? 200 00:15:40,139 --> 00:15:44,439 -Party! -That thing is not coming in here! 201 00:15:44,643 --> 00:15:47,168 This is how you greet guests? 202 00:15:47,379 --> 00:15:52,043 If I showed up with my new girlfriend, she wouldn't be welcome? 203 00:15:52,584 --> 00:15:56,645 Your new girlfriend wouldn't urinate on my coffee table. 204 00:15:56,855 --> 00:16:00,188 He was more embarrassed about that than anyone. 205 00:16:02,061 --> 00:16:06,361 And for him to have the courage to walk back in here... 206 00:16:06,565 --> 00:16:08,192 ...Iike nothing happened 207 00:16:09,134 --> 00:16:12,365 All right. All right. Just keep him away from me. 208 00:16:12,604 --> 00:16:14,868 Thank you. Come on, Marcel. 209 00:16:15,341 --> 00:16:17,775 What do you say you and I mingle? 210 00:16:18,944 --> 00:16:23,278 All right, I'll catch up with you later. 211 00:16:28,654 --> 00:16:33,455 Oh, my gosh! Rachel, honey, are you okay? 212 00:16:33,726 --> 00:16:38,663 -Where's Paolo? -Rome. Jerk missed his flight. 213 00:16:39,131 --> 00:16:41,395 And then your face exploded? 214 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,063 No. 215 00:16:44,703 --> 00:16:48,503 Okay. I was at the airport getting into a cab... 216 00:16:48,741 --> 00:16:53,678 ...when this woman, this blond planet with a pocketbook... 217 00:16:53,879 --> 00:16:58,145 ...starts yelling. Something about how it was her cab first. 218 00:16:58,350 --> 00:17:02,446 The next thing, she just starts pulling me out by my hair! 219 00:17:02,654 --> 00:17:05,555 And I was blowing my attack whistle thingy... 220 00:17:05,758 --> 00:17:08,318 ...and three more cabs show up. 221 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:13,157 So as I'm going to get into a cab, she tackles me! 222 00:17:13,599 --> 00:17:18,764 And I hit my head on the curb and cut my lip on my whistle. 223 00:17:22,541 --> 00:17:24,873 Everybody having fun at the party? 224 00:17:26,945 --> 00:17:29,539 -Are people eating my dip? -Yes. 225 00:17:34,820 --> 00:17:36,253 There. 226 00:17:36,955 --> 00:17:41,051 -That looks okay, right? -You went a bit wide on the lipstick. 227 00:17:41,260 --> 00:17:43,728 -Oh, I did? -Yeah. 228 00:17:43,929 --> 00:17:47,626 It's hard for me to tell. My eye's closing up. 229 00:17:47,833 --> 00:17:49,801 Let me get it for you. 230 00:17:51,003 --> 00:17:52,300 -Ow! -Okay. 231 00:17:52,504 --> 00:17:54,734 You know what? It looks fine. 232 00:17:55,374 --> 00:17:57,706 Okay, here we go. 233 00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:02,104 Screw Paolo, screw the psycho cab lady. 234 00:18:02,314 --> 00:18:05,249 It's New Year's Eve. Let's have a good time. 235 00:18:05,451 --> 00:18:07,112 -Okay, here we go. -Okay. 236 00:18:07,319 --> 00:18:10,288 All right, there you go. This way. 237 00:18:11,490 --> 00:18:13,117 Here you go. 238 00:18:16,462 --> 00:18:18,987 When I saw you at the store last week... 239 00:18:19,665 --> 00:18:24,068 ...it was the first time I ever mentally undressed an elf. 240 00:18:26,338 --> 00:18:30,365 -Wow, that's dirty. -Yeah. 241 00:18:34,012 --> 00:18:35,502 Hey, kids. 242 00:18:37,316 --> 00:18:40,774 He doesn't have to spend the whole evening with me... 243 00:18:41,019 --> 00:18:42,782 ... but at least check in. 244 00:18:44,189 --> 00:18:46,123 There you are! 245 00:18:47,693 --> 00:18:50,287 You got away from me. 246 00:18:50,596 --> 00:18:54,657 -But you found me. -Here, Ross, take our picture. 247 00:18:54,867 --> 00:18:58,268 Smile. You' re on Janice Camera. 248 00:18:59,037 --> 00:19:00,800 Kill me. Kill me now. 249 00:19:05,811 --> 00:19:08,541 Hi, l' m Rachel. 250 00:19:08,747 --> 00:19:11,181 So whose friend are you? 251 00:19:14,653 --> 00:19:18,214 Look at me, spilling everywhere. 252 00:19:19,992 --> 00:19:21,789 Everybody, it's Fun Bobby! 253 00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:28,566 Hey, sorry I'm late. But my grandfather... 254 00:19:28,767 --> 00:19:30,598 ...died about two hours ago. 255 00:19:30,802 --> 00:19:36,468 But I couldn't get a flight out till tomorrow, so here I am. 256 00:19:36,942 --> 00:19:42,437 Hey, Fun Bobby! How's it going, man? Whoa! Who died? 257 00:19:46,685 --> 00:19:49,620 It's gonna be an open casket, you know? 258 00:19:50,756 --> 00:19:53,623 So at least I'll get to see him again. 259 00:19:57,763 --> 00:20:00,960 Bobby? Fun Bobby? 260 00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,400 Let me talk to you for just a sec. 261 00:20:04,836 --> 00:20:07,361 I recently lost a grandparent myself... 262 00:20:07,573 --> 00:20:10,599 ...so I really know exactly how you feel. 263 00:20:10,809 --> 00:20:13,778 But you' re really bringing the party down. 264 00:20:15,013 --> 00:20:17,311 -l' m sorry. -Yeah, yeah, okay. 265 00:20:18,650 --> 00:20:20,675 There you go. There you go. 266 00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:26,823 I' m gonna blow this one up and write " Reunited " in glitter. 267 00:20:27,025 --> 00:20:28,959 All right, Janice, that's it! 268 00:20:29,161 --> 00:20:31,755 Janice. Janice. 269 00:20:31,964 --> 00:20:36,697 Hey, Janice, when I invited you, I didn't think it meant 270 00:20:36,969 --> 00:20:39,199 Oh, no! 271 00:20:43,275 --> 00:20:45,675 I' m sorry you misunderstood. 272 00:20:46,044 --> 00:20:48,274 You listen to me! You listen to me! 273 00:20:48,513 --> 00:20:53,280 One of these times, it's just gonna be your last chance with me! 274 00:20:55,220 --> 00:20:57,154 Will you give me the thing? 275 00:21:00,859 --> 00:21:03,259 -Hi, Max. -Yoko. 276 00:21:08,367 --> 00:21:11,632 I've decided to go to Minsk without you. 277 00:21:12,671 --> 00:21:15,469 -Wow. -lt won't be the same... 278 00:21:16,308 --> 00:21:19,971 ... but it will still be Minsk. Happy New Year. 279 00:21:21,580 --> 00:21:25,311 -Are you all right? -Yeah, l' m fine. I' m fine. 280 00:21:30,689 --> 00:21:32,247 Come on. 281 00:21:34,259 --> 00:21:38,525 -You' re going to Minsk. -No, l' m not going to Minsk. 282 00:21:38,730 --> 00:21:40,391 You are so going to Minsk. 283 00:21:40,666 --> 00:21:44,568 You belong in Minsk. You can't stay here just for me. 284 00:21:44,770 --> 00:21:47,466 If I go, I have to break up with you. 285 00:21:47,673 --> 00:21:50,665 -And I can't break up with you. -Yes, you can. 286 00:21:50,876 --> 00:21:55,245 Just say, " Phoebe, I love you, but my work is my life. 287 00:21:55,514 --> 00:21:57,175 That's what I have to do. " 288 00:21:57,416 --> 00:22:01,113 And I say, "Your work? How can you say that? " 289 00:22:02,421 --> 00:22:07,620 Then you say, " I have no choice. Can't you understand that? " 290 00:22:07,826 --> 00:22:11,887 And I say, " No! No! I can't understand that! " 291 00:22:12,097 --> 00:22:13,655 -Ow. -Sorry. 292 00:22:15,367 --> 00:22:18,097 And then you put your arms around me. 293 00:22:18,503 --> 00:22:21,904 -Then you put your arms around me. -Oh, sorry. 294 00:22:22,674 --> 00:22:27,236 And then you tell me you love me and you'll never forget me. 295 00:22:27,446 --> 00:22:29,710 I'll never forget you. 296 00:22:31,149 --> 00:22:33,811 Then you say that you have to go... 297 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:38,820 ... because you don't wanna start the year with me if you can't finish it. 298 00:22:45,197 --> 00:22:48,792 I' m gonna miss you, you scientist guy. 299 00:22:51,236 --> 00:22:53,227 Hi, Dick Clark in Times Square. 300 00:22:53,438 --> 00:22:58,273 We're in a virtual snowstorm of confetti here in Times Square. 301 00:22:58,543 --> 00:23:00,238 It gets better every.... 302 00:23:00,512 --> 00:23:02,605 Here you go, kids. 303 00:23:02,814 --> 00:23:05,647 And then the peacock bit me. 304 00:23:06,451 --> 00:23:08,316 Please kiss me at midnight! 305 00:23:13,492 --> 00:23:16,950 -You seen Sandy? -I don't know how to tell you this... 306 00:23:17,195 --> 00:23:21,427 ... but she's in the bedroom getting it on with Max. 307 00:23:21,633 --> 00:23:23,999 Oh, I did know how to tell you. 308 00:23:25,103 --> 00:23:28,766 -Hey, everybody, the ball is dropping. -What? 309 00:23:29,708 --> 00:23:32,700 The ball is dropping! 310 00:23:34,112 --> 00:23:36,706 In 20 seconds, it'll be midnight. 311 00:23:36,915 --> 00:23:39,611 And the moment of joy is upon us. 312 00:23:40,218 --> 00:23:43,119 Looks like that no-date pact worked out. 313 00:23:43,588 --> 00:23:46,056 Everybody looks so happy. I hate that! 314 00:23:46,258 --> 00:23:48,556 Not everybody is happy. Hey, Bobby! 315 00:23:48,794 --> 00:23:51,456 four, three, two... 316 00:23:51,663 --> 00:23:54,496 ...one! Happy New Year! 317 00:23:56,501 --> 00:23:59,834 I thought I'd throw this out. I' m no math whiz... 318 00:24:00,038 --> 00:24:05,101 ... but I do believe there are three girls and three guys right here. 319 00:24:06,311 --> 00:24:09,075 I don't feel like kissing anyone tonight. 320 00:24:09,347 --> 00:24:13,147 -I can't kiss anyone. -So, I'm kissing everyone? 321 00:24:13,885 --> 00:24:17,116 No, you can't kiss Ross. That's your brother. 322 00:24:17,322 --> 00:24:19,916 So now everybody's getting kissed but me. 323 00:24:20,125 --> 00:24:21,319 Somebody kiss me. 324 00:24:21,560 --> 00:24:25,360 Somebody kiss me! It's midnight! Somebody kiss me! 325 00:24:25,597 --> 00:24:27,497 All right! All right! 326 00:24:28,099 --> 00:24:29,498 There! 327 00:24:35,941 --> 00:24:38,501 I wanted this to work so much. 328 00:24:39,177 --> 00:24:40,906 I'm still in there. 329 00:24:41,146 --> 00:24:44,172 Changing his diapers. Picking his fleas. 330 00:24:44,783 --> 00:24:47,183 But he's just phoning it in. 331 00:24:48,954 --> 00:24:54,153 It's hard that something you love so much doesn't love you back. 332 00:24:54,359 --> 00:24:57,453 I think that bitch cracked my tooth.