Friends Season 2 Episode 1

Subtitles
​1 00:00:01,435 --> 00:00:04,082 This is pretty much what's happened so far. 2 00:00:04,395 --> 00:00:07,179 Ross was in love with Rachel since forever. 3 00:00:07,423 --> 00:00:10,437 Every time he tried to tell her, something got in the way... 4 00:00:10,651 --> 00:00:12,529 ...Iike cats, Italian guys. 5 00:00:12,736 --> 00:00:15,922 And finally, Chandler was, like, "Forget about her." 6 00:00:16,166 --> 00:00:20,762 When Ross was in China, Chandler let it slip that Ross loved Rachel. 7 00:00:20,975 --> 00:00:22,818 She was, like, "Oh, my God!" 8 00:00:23,061 --> 00:00:25,845 So she went to the airport to meet him. 9 00:00:26,089 --> 00:00:29,710 She didn 't know Ross was getting off the plane with another woman. 10 00:00:31,165 --> 00:00:33,651 That's pretty much everything you need to know. 11 00:00:33,922 --> 00:00:36,097 But enough about us. How have you been? 12 00:00:37,991 --> 00:00:40,126 The One With Ross' New Girlfriend 13 00:01:21,226 --> 00:01:24,331 Flight number 457 from Beijing now arriving. 14 00:01:30,746 --> 00:01:31,804 Oh, my God! 15 00:01:32,555 --> 00:01:33,783 Oh, my God! 16 00:01:34,233 --> 00:01:35,064 Excuse me. 17 00:01:35,273 --> 00:01:37,877 Move, move, move! Emergency, please! 18 00:01:38,086 --> 00:01:39,523 Excuse me, excuse me. 19 00:01:48,378 --> 00:01:49,815 There you are! 20 00:01:52,935 --> 00:01:55,206 So, so.... 21 00:01:55,451 --> 00:01:58,226 How was China? You! 22 00:01:58,968 --> 00:02:00,942 It was great. 23 00:02:01,148 --> 00:02:02,115 What happened? 24 00:02:02,322 --> 00:02:03,815 -You're bleeding. -I am? 25 00:02:04,064 --> 00:02:05,934 Oh, look at that! Yes, I am. 26 00:02:06,143 --> 00:02:08,618 Enough about me, Mr. Back From The Orient! 27 00:02:08,857 --> 00:02:12,602 Come on, I wanna hear everything! Everything! 28 00:02:14,121 --> 00:02:16,654 Well, where do I start? 29 00:02:16,870 --> 00:02:19,815 This is Julie. Julie, this is Rachel. 30 00:02:25,015 --> 00:02:25,881 These are.... 31 00:02:26,087 --> 00:02:27,180 These are... 32 00:02:27,393 --> 00:02:28,555 ...aren't for you. 33 00:02:30,278 --> 00:02:31,749 These are for you. 34 00:02:32,154 --> 00:02:34,894 Welcome to our country. 35 00:02:36,948 --> 00:02:40,259 Thank you. I'm from New York. 36 00:02:42,678 --> 00:02:45,315 No problem. We'll use them to stop the bleeding. 37 00:02:48,578 --> 00:02:49,409 Baggage claim? 38 00:02:57,327 --> 00:03:01,029 I'm telling U.She went to the airport, and she's gonna go for it with Ross. 39 00:03:01,275 --> 00:03:04,839 Oh, my God! This is huge! 40 00:03:05,557 --> 00:03:07,718 This is bigger than huge. This is.... 41 00:03:08,032 --> 00:03:10,227 All right, what's bigger than huge? 42 00:03:12,149 --> 00:03:13,044 This? 43 00:03:14,690 --> 00:03:16,180 Guys, you got new haircuts! 44 00:03:16,397 --> 00:03:19,494 Yes, we did. Thanks to Vidal Buffay. 45 00:03:20,543 --> 00:03:24,245 Because, you know, "lf you don't look good, we don't look good." 46 00:03:24,456 --> 00:03:26,219 I love that voice! 47 00:03:28,154 --> 00:03:31,558 And the winner is Eva Godna! 48 00:03:34,819 --> 00:03:37,048 Airport. Airport. Ross. 49 00:03:38,011 --> 00:03:38,653 Not alone. 50 00:03:38,973 --> 00:03:39,897 Julie. 51 00:03:40,990 --> 00:03:42,281 Arm around her! 52 00:03:43,408 --> 00:03:46,230 Cramp! Cramp! Cramp! 53 00:03:46,471 --> 00:03:49,020 I think she's trying to tell us something. 54 00:03:49,235 --> 00:03:51,216 Quick, get the verbs. 55 00:03:51,935 --> 00:03:53,621 You! You! 56 00:03:53,900 --> 00:03:55,856 You said he liked me! 57 00:03:56,099 --> 00:03:57,058 You! 58 00:03:57,265 --> 00:03:59,685 You slowpokes! 59 00:03:59,895 --> 00:04:02,513 That's all right. We got the bags. 60 00:04:06,091 --> 00:04:07,843 This is my sister, Monica. 61 00:04:08,523 --> 00:04:09,845 This is Chandler. 62 00:04:10,057 --> 00:04:11,106 Phoebe, hi. 63 00:04:11,387 --> 00:04:12,400 Joey. 64 00:04:13,852 --> 00:04:15,901 Everyone, this is Julie. 65 00:04:16,116 --> 00:04:17,004 Julie. 66 00:04:23,378 --> 00:04:25,233 But I'm not here, you haven't met me. 67 00:04:25,443 --> 00:04:29,365 I'll make a better impression when I don't have 20 hours of plane on me. 68 00:04:29,607 --> 00:04:31,756 -And bus. -Oh, my God! 69 00:04:32,005 --> 00:04:34,086 -With the screaming guy -And the spitting. 70 00:04:34,370 --> 00:04:35,884 You gotta hear this story. 71 00:04:36,102 --> 00:04:38,490 We're on this bus that's 200 years old. 72 00:04:38,697 --> 00:04:39,985 Two hundred, at least. 73 00:04:40,200 --> 00:04:42,055 And the chicken poops in her lap! 74 00:04:49,227 --> 00:04:51,013 I'm so sorry. 75 00:04:51,258 --> 00:04:53,339 I just gave away the ending, didn't l? 76 00:04:53,557 --> 00:04:55,878 I just heard this story in the cab... 77 00:04:56,156 --> 00:04:59,804 ...and it is all I can think about. 78 00:05:02,184 --> 00:05:03,639 This is amazing. 79 00:05:05,146 --> 00:05:06,295 How did this happen? 80 00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:08,130 We were in grad school together. 81 00:05:08,379 --> 00:05:11,631 We haven't seen each other since then. I land in China... 82 00:05:11,875 --> 00:05:13,730 ...guess who's in charge of the dig? 83 00:05:13,975 --> 00:05:15,058 Julie! 84 00:05:16,737 --> 00:05:18,127 Isn't that great? 85 00:05:18,737 --> 00:05:23,282 Isn't that just kick-you-in-the-crotch, spit-on-your-neck fantastic? 86 00:05:25,398 --> 00:05:26,375 It's an expression. 87 00:05:28,332 --> 00:05:30,549 We just wanted to say a quick hi. 88 00:05:30,794 --> 00:05:33,445 -Then we'll see the baby. -Then get some sleep. 89 00:05:33,693 --> 00:05:35,618 It's 6:00 tomorrow night, our time. 90 00:05:35,827 --> 00:05:39,180 Don't tell us what's gonna happen. I like being surprised. 91 00:05:44,050 --> 00:05:45,301 Bye! 92 00:05:56,690 --> 00:05:58,938 -Can I get some coffee? -Sure. 93 00:05:59,686 --> 00:06:01,413 -Did you talk to him yet? -No. 94 00:06:01,673 --> 00:06:03,020 Then, no. 95 00:06:15,198 --> 00:06:17,438 What the hell happened to you in China? 96 00:06:17,918 --> 00:06:20,693 When last we left you, you were in love with, you know. 97 00:06:21,502 --> 00:06:22,647 I know I was. 98 00:06:22,897 --> 00:06:25,863 But there was always this voice inside that kept saying: 99 00:06:26,146 --> 00:06:30,277 "It's never gonna happen. Move on." You know whose voice that was? 100 00:06:31,025 --> 00:06:32,100 God? 101 00:06:33,459 --> 00:06:34,974 It was you, pal. 102 00:06:35,906 --> 00:06:37,720 Maybe it was God doing me. 103 00:06:43,811 --> 00:06:47,523 You were right. She looks at me and sees a friend. That's all. 104 00:06:48,337 --> 00:06:49,621 And then I met Julie... 105 00:06:50,601 --> 00:06:52,485 ...and we're having a great time. 106 00:06:52,700 --> 00:06:55,675 I never would have gone for it, if it hadn't been for you. 107 00:06:58,425 --> 00:07:00,843 Well, you owe me one, big guy. 108 00:07:01,489 --> 00:07:02,568 Your lemonade. 109 00:07:02,820 --> 00:07:03,830 I didn't order it. 110 00:07:05,650 --> 00:07:08,659 Then go take that back. They'll charge you for that. 111 00:07:09,011 --> 00:07:11,429 Go, go, go! Come on, come on! 112 00:07:13,772 --> 00:07:15,623 So what did you find out? 113 00:07:16,468 --> 00:07:17,788 He said.... 114 00:07:18,067 --> 00:07:19,545 He said.... 115 00:07:22,759 --> 00:07:24,373 They're having a great time. 116 00:07:25,224 --> 00:07:26,702 I'm sorry. 117 00:07:27,752 --> 00:07:30,396 But the silver lining, if you wanna see it... 118 00:07:30,717 --> 00:07:33,466 ...is that he made this decision all by himself... 119 00:07:34,043 --> 00:07:37,052 ...without any outside help whatsoever. 120 00:07:38,089 --> 00:07:40,482 How is that a silver lining? 121 00:07:40,701 --> 00:07:43,440 You have to really wanna see it. 122 00:07:49,032 --> 00:07:52,088 Ironically, these guys were picked last in gym. 123 00:07:52,913 --> 00:07:54,061 Hey, Pheebs. 124 00:07:54,900 --> 00:07:56,993 You know what I'm thinking? 125 00:08:01,192 --> 00:08:03,132 How... 126 00:08:03,388 --> 00:08:06,446 ...it's been so long since you've had sex... 127 00:08:06,783 --> 00:08:09,567 ...you're wondering if they've changed it? 128 00:08:13,197 --> 00:08:17,030 No. Although now that's what I'm thinking. 129 00:08:18,984 --> 00:08:20,832 So what were you thinking? 130 00:08:20,721 --> 00:08:25,570 You gave the guys great haircuts. I thought you'd like to do mine. 131 00:08:25,794 --> 00:08:26,761 No. 132 00:08:27,573 --> 00:08:28,500 Why not? 133 00:08:28,792 --> 00:08:30,862 Because I'm just.... 134 00:08:31,154 --> 00:08:34,196 I'm incredibly anal and an unbelievable control freak. 135 00:08:34,241 --> 00:08:35,336 No, you're not. 136 00:08:36,263 --> 00:08:38,426 I know I'm not, but you are. 137 00:08:39,155 --> 00:08:42,140 I was trying to spare your feelings. 138 00:08:44,325 --> 00:08:45,269 Hold on. 139 00:08:45,645 --> 00:08:47,466 Ross, Julie for you. 140 00:09:18,317 --> 00:09:19,712 Anybody know a good tailor? 141 00:09:19,934 --> 00:09:21,399 You need clothes altered? 142 00:09:21,651 --> 00:09:25,039 No, I'm just looking for a man to draw on me with chalk. 143 00:09:25,950 --> 00:09:29,091 Go see Frankie. My family's been going to him forever. 144 00:09:29,389 --> 00:09:31,231 He did my first suit when I was 1 5. 145 00:09:31,587 --> 00:09:33,910 No, wait, 1 6. 146 00:09:34,201 --> 00:09:37,894 No, excuse me, 1 5. 147 00:09:39,118 --> 00:09:41,334 All right, when was 1 990? 148 00:09:43,897 --> 00:09:46,806 You have to stop the Q-Tip when there's resistance! 149 00:09:55,687 --> 00:09:57,547 Sweetheart, I'll see you later. 150 00:09:57,770 --> 00:09:58,967 Okay, bye. 151 00:10:01,556 --> 00:10:03,827 That is so sweet. 152 00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:09,744 Okay. No, you hang up. 153 00:10:09,967 --> 00:10:11,232 No, you 154 00:10:13,373 --> 00:10:16,029 One, two, three. 155 00:10:18,155 --> 00:10:19,428 You didn't hang up either. 156 00:10:19,730 --> 00:10:21,639 She didn't hang up. 157 00:10:27,391 --> 00:10:28,629 No, you hang up. 158 00:10:28,897 --> 00:10:31,223 You. You. 159 00:10:39,466 --> 00:10:41,888 Sorry, I thought you were talking to me. 160 00:10:44,295 --> 00:10:45,378 Rachel. 161 00:10:46,190 --> 00:10:48,174 I'll just call her back. 162 00:10:49,903 --> 00:10:52,370 Hi, sweetie. I'm sorry. We got disconnected. 163 00:10:52,650 --> 00:10:53,292 No, you hang up. 164 00:10:53,972 --> 00:10:55,718 How did this happen to me? 165 00:10:55,928 --> 00:10:59,335 A week ago, two weeks ago, I was fine. 166 00:10:59,643 --> 00:11:01,840 Ross was just Ross. Just this guy. 167 00:11:02,150 --> 00:11:05,889 Now all of a sudden, he's Ross... 168 00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:10,169 ...this really great guy that I can't have. 169 00:11:10,562 --> 00:11:12,762 Sweetie, I wanted you to have him too. 170 00:11:13,411 --> 00:11:14,328 I know you did. 171 00:11:18,837 --> 00:11:21,510 I'm just gonna deal with it. 172 00:11:24,961 --> 00:11:27,612 I gotta get out of here! 173 00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:33,102 I don't care what you guys say, something's bothering her. 174 00:11:38,701 --> 00:11:41,526 You know, I think I was 1 6. 175 00:11:47,629 --> 00:11:50,351 Please, just a little bit off the back. 176 00:11:50,557 --> 00:11:51,865 I'm still on "no." 177 00:11:54,244 --> 00:11:55,156 Morning. 178 00:11:56,354 --> 00:11:58,255 Could you close your eyes for a sec? 179 00:11:58,489 --> 00:12:01,603 No, no, no. I'm not falling for that again. 180 00:12:03,886 --> 00:12:04,698 What's going on? 181 00:12:04,939 --> 00:12:07,130 I sort of did a stupid thing last night. 182 00:12:07,341 --> 00:12:09,108 What stupid thing did you do? 183 00:12:16,057 --> 00:12:17,993 Why don't you just go get dressed... 184 00:12:18,557 --> 00:12:21,603 ...then you'll be on your way. Bye-bye. 185 00:12:23,802 --> 00:12:25,426 How did this happen? 186 00:12:25,777 --> 00:12:27,902 I kind of ran into him last night. 187 00:12:28,120 --> 00:12:29,413 -Where? -At his apartment. 188 00:12:29,627 --> 00:12:31,148 Is this juice? 189 00:12:31,835 --> 00:12:35,535 And the fact that you dumped him because he hit on Phoebe? 190 00:12:35,817 --> 00:12:38,946 Oh, God, I know. I'm pathetic, I'm a loser. 191 00:12:39,731 --> 00:12:42,289 Honey, you're not pathetic. You're just sad. 192 00:12:42,508 --> 00:12:44,839 People do stupid things when they're upset. 193 00:12:45,052 --> 00:12:48,148 My God, if I had a nickel for every guy I wish I hadn't 194 00:12:52,349 --> 00:12:54,838 But this is about your horrible mistake. 195 00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:00,637 Sorry we're late. 196 00:13:00,947 --> 00:13:02,203 We were.... 197 00:13:02,422 --> 00:13:04,410 Well, there was touching. 198 00:13:10,285 --> 00:13:12,252 Hey, Ross! 199 00:13:12,862 --> 00:13:14,258 What a.... 200 00:13:15,806 --> 00:13:17,773 What are you doing here? 201 00:13:17,981 --> 00:13:18,940 I do Raquel! 202 00:13:26,247 --> 00:13:27,974 So he's back? 203 00:13:28,257 --> 00:13:30,746 Yeah, he's back. Is that a problem? 204 00:13:31,033 --> 00:13:32,429 No, not a problem. 205 00:13:33,076 --> 00:13:34,871 Good. Glad it's not a problem. 206 00:13:35,686 --> 00:13:38,519 You're gonna have to not touch my ass. 207 00:13:42,980 --> 00:13:46,076 Despite the yummy bagels and palpable tension... 208 00:13:46,627 --> 00:13:48,148 ... my pants need to be altered. 209 00:13:48,402 --> 00:13:51,806 When you see Frankie, tell him Joey Tribbiani says hello. 210 00:13:52,184 --> 00:13:53,771 He'll know what it means. 211 00:13:56,166 --> 00:13:57,927 You sure he'll crack that code? 212 00:14:00,183 --> 00:14:04,215 It's funny. The last time Paolo was here, my hair was so much cuter. 213 00:14:04,900 --> 00:14:06,330 All right. 214 00:14:07,343 --> 00:14:11,716 But you have to promise that you will not be all controlly and bossy... 215 00:14:11,927 --> 00:14:13,915 ...and all Monica about it. 216 00:14:15,409 --> 00:14:16,428 I promise. 217 00:14:16,680 --> 00:14:18,201 All right, let's see. 218 00:14:18,454 --> 00:14:22,690 Now, some of you are gonna get cut and some of you aren't. 219 00:14:23,874 --> 00:14:26,031 But I promise, none of you will feel a thing. 220 00:14:38,457 --> 00:14:42,268 -That's it. I quit. -What? I didn't say anything! 221 00:14:42,531 --> 00:14:46,405 But this isn't the face of a person who trusts a person. 222 00:14:46,679 --> 00:14:49,934 This is the face of a person who, you know... 223 00:14:50,274 --> 00:14:52,341 ...doesn't trust a person. 224 00:14:53,217 --> 00:14:54,999 I'm sorry. I'm sorry. 225 00:14:55,811 --> 00:14:58,833 It's just a little shorter than what we had discussed. 226 00:14:59,068 --> 00:15:02,531 Would you relax? I know what I am doing. 227 00:15:02,746 --> 00:15:05,351 This is how he wears it. 228 00:15:07,389 --> 00:15:08,501 How who wears it? 229 00:15:08,715 --> 00:15:09,896 Demi Moore. 230 00:15:11,165 --> 00:15:12,944 Demi Moore is not a "he." 231 00:15:13,154 --> 00:15:15,792 Well, he was a "he" in Arthur and in 10. 232 00:15:17,677 --> 00:15:19,362 That's Dudley Moore! 233 00:15:19,684 --> 00:15:22,697 I said I wanted it like Demi Moore! 234 00:15:24,871 --> 00:15:26,025 Oh, my God! 235 00:15:27,140 --> 00:15:28,230 Oh, God! 236 00:15:29,787 --> 00:15:31,426 Oh, my God! I'm sorry! 237 00:15:31,665 --> 00:15:32,413 Which one is Demi Moore? 238 00:15:32,754 --> 00:15:38,093 She's the actress that was in Disclosure, Indecent Proposal, Ghost! 239 00:15:38,274 --> 00:15:39,631 She's got gorgeous hair. 240 00:15:39,947 --> 00:15:41,507 I know! 241 00:16:03,399 --> 00:16:05,137 How long do you want the cuffs? 242 00:16:05,509 --> 00:16:07,885 At least as long as I have the pants. 243 00:16:11,567 --> 00:16:13,024 I just got that. 244 00:16:16,308 --> 00:16:18,536 Now we'll do your inseam. 245 00:16:32,556 --> 00:16:33,355 How is she? 246 00:16:34,745 --> 00:16:36,610 It's too soon to tell. 247 00:16:37,872 --> 00:16:40,219 She's resting, which is a good sign. 248 00:16:41,512 --> 00:16:42,409 How's the hair? 249 00:16:42,929 --> 00:16:45,914 I'm not gonna lie to you. It doesn't look good. 250 00:16:56,263 --> 00:17:00,346 I put a clip on one side, which seems to have stopped the curling. 251 00:17:01,222 --> 00:17:02,341 Can we see her? 252 00:17:02,919 --> 00:17:05,003 Your hair looks too good. It'd upset her. 253 00:17:06,415 --> 00:17:07,669 Ross, you come on in. 254 00:17:15,500 --> 00:17:16,960 Well, how you doing? 255 00:17:17,165 --> 00:17:17,956 I'm okay. 256 00:17:18,228 --> 00:17:19,188 That bad, huh? 257 00:17:20,793 --> 00:17:24,273 Look, I can sense when women are depressed and vulnerable. 258 00:17:24,518 --> 00:17:26,001 It's one of my gifts. 259 00:17:31,342 --> 00:17:35,025 Joey, when I saw him get off that plane with her... 260 00:17:35,302 --> 00:17:38,159 ...I really thought I just hit rock bottom. 261 00:17:38,665 --> 00:17:42,020 But today, it's like there's rock bottom... 262 00:17:42,290 --> 00:17:44,250 ... 50 feet of crap... 263 00:17:44,454 --> 00:17:45,847 ...then me. 264 00:17:47,183 --> 00:17:48,768 Tell Ross how you feel. 265 00:17:49,014 --> 00:17:52,062 Come on, how can I just tell him? What about Julie? 266 00:17:52,307 --> 00:17:55,231 What about her? They've only been going out for two weeks. 267 00:17:55,503 --> 00:17:58,586 Ross has been in love with you for 10 years. 268 00:17:59,463 --> 00:18:01,921 I don't know. I don't know. 269 00:18:02,258 --> 00:18:04,546 I've been with my share of women. 270 00:18:05,221 --> 00:18:08,145 I've been with a lot of people's share of women. 271 00:18:09,114 --> 00:18:10,802 But the point is... 272 00:18:11,045 --> 00:18:14,969 ... I've never felt about anyone the way Ross felt about you. 273 00:18:17,268 --> 00:18:18,559 Really? 274 00:18:25,221 --> 00:18:26,909 Yo, paisan! 275 00:18:29,616 --> 00:18:31,599 Can I talk to you for a sec? 276 00:18:35,073 --> 00:18:36,590 Your tailor... 277 00:18:36,837 --> 00:18:39,160 ...is a very bad man! 278 00:18:41,264 --> 00:18:42,815 What are you talking about? 279 00:18:43,028 --> 00:18:44,919 Hey, what's going on? 280 00:18:49,816 --> 00:18:51,175 Joey's tailor... 281 00:18:55,008 --> 00:18:56,559 ...took advantage of me. 282 00:18:59,134 --> 00:19:02,251 No way! I've been going to the guy for 1 2 years. 283 00:19:02,462 --> 00:19:04,479 He said he was gonna do my inseam. 284 00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:08,443 Then he ran his hand up my leg and then there was definite 285 00:19:08,652 --> 00:19:09,612 What? 286 00:19:10,549 --> 00:19:12,169 Cupping. 287 00:19:15,143 --> 00:19:17,795 That's how they do pants! 288 00:19:19,335 --> 00:19:21,849 First they go up one side, they move it over. 289 00:19:22,132 --> 00:19:26,180 Then they go up the other side, move it back, then they do the rear. 290 00:19:28,921 --> 00:19:32,004 Ross, tell him. Isn't that how a tailor measures pants? 291 00:19:32,248 --> 00:19:34,265 Yes, yes, it is. In prison! 292 00:19:41,434 --> 00:19:43,394 What's the matter with you? 293 00:19:43,630 --> 00:19:44,647 What? 294 00:19:48,223 --> 00:19:49,082 That's not? 295 00:19:55,445 --> 00:19:56,804 Oh, my God! 296 00:20:09,912 --> 00:20:12,546 Even Mary Tyler Moore would've been better. 297 00:20:22,210 --> 00:20:23,028 I like it. 298 00:20:24,058 --> 00:20:25,529 I do. I think it's a 10! 299 00:20:28,906 --> 00:20:30,049 Thank you. 300 00:20:30,290 --> 00:20:31,794 My hair is very amused. 301 00:20:32,007 --> 00:20:34,635 Come on, things could be worse. 302 00:20:35,074 --> 00:20:38,199 You could "get caught between the moon and New York City. 303 00:20:40,250 --> 00:20:42,024 I know it's crazy, but it's true." 304 00:20:44,869 --> 00:20:46,340 Thank you. 305 00:20:46,550 --> 00:20:48,750 Well, I gotta go. Bye. 306 00:20:48,992 --> 00:20:50,068 Bye, Rach! 307 00:20:50,311 --> 00:20:51,882 Wait, are you leaving? 308 00:20:52,092 --> 00:20:53,899 That's what I meant by "bye." 309 00:20:54,796 --> 00:20:56,828 Can I talk to you for a sec? 310 00:21:00,698 --> 00:21:03,754 When the doctor does that hernia test.... 311 00:21:04,458 --> 00:21:05,996 That's okay. 312 00:21:17,292 --> 00:21:18,141 What's going on? 313 00:21:20,045 --> 00:21:23,279 Well, okay, first of all... 314 00:21:23,790 --> 00:21:26,427 ... Paolo and I are not back together. 315 00:21:26,707 --> 00:21:28,710 That was a stupid thing I did. 316 00:21:28,927 --> 00:21:31,800 If I could go back in time and do it again... 317 00:21:32,240 --> 00:21:34,187 ...well, I wouldn't. 318 00:21:37,181 --> 00:21:38,529 Second of all.... 319 00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:40,350 What? 320 00:21:43,443 --> 00:21:47,141 Is this one of those things where you break up with a guy... 321 00:21:47,419 --> 00:21:48,868 ... I tell you what I think... 322 00:21:49,080 --> 00:21:51,524 ...and the next day you get back together with him... 323 00:21:51,731 --> 00:21:54,006 ...and I look like a complete idiot? 324 00:21:56,270 --> 00:21:58,407 Well, then, I think the guy's scum. 325 00:21:59,653 --> 00:22:02,989 I hate him. I mean, I actually I physically hate him. 326 00:22:04,389 --> 00:22:05,598 I always have. 327 00:22:05,817 --> 00:22:09,687 And you are way too good to be with a guy like that. 328 00:22:10,655 --> 00:22:11,574 Really? 329 00:22:12,279 --> 00:22:15,084 You deserve to be with someone who appreciates you... 330 00:22:15,295 --> 00:22:17,242 ...and who gets how funny... 331 00:22:17,450 --> 00:22:19,986 ...and sweet and amazing... 332 00:22:20,200 --> 00:22:23,198 ...and adorable and sexy you are. 333 00:22:23,416 --> 00:22:27,045 You know? Someone who wakes up every morning thinking: 334 00:22:27,327 --> 00:22:29,997 "Oh, my God. I'm with Rachel!" 335 00:22:31,073 --> 00:22:33,878 You know? Someone who makes you feel good. 336 00:22:34,219 --> 00:22:36,257 Like the way I do with Julie. 337 00:22:41,978 --> 00:22:44,422 Was there a "second of all"? 338 00:22:50,062 --> 00:22:53,229 No, I think that was the whole "all." 339 00:22:56,421 --> 00:22:57,579 I gotta go. 340 00:23:01,636 --> 00:23:02,853 Thanks. 341 00:23:07,996 --> 00:23:09,932 No, I swear to God, Dad! 342 00:23:10,185 --> 00:23:12,398 That's not how they measure pants! 343 00:23:18,936 --> 00:23:22,433 I was thinking of doing it shorter, like Andie MacDowell's haircut. 344 00:23:22,714 --> 00:23:25,116 -Yeah, I could do that. -Really? 345 00:23:25,355 --> 00:23:27,119 -You wanna do it now? -Great! 346 00:23:29,636 --> 00:23:30,897 See you. 347 00:23:32,077 --> 00:23:34,777 I just wanna make really sure this time. 348 00:23:34,986 --> 00:23:39,396 Andie MacDowell is the girl from Four Weddings and a Funeral, right? 349 00:23:40,471 --> 00:23:41,458 No. 350 00:23:45,118 --> 00:23:47,349 That's Roddy McDowall. 351 00:23:48,261 --> 00:23:51,360 Andie MacDowell is the guy from Planet of the Apes. 352 00:23:54,450 --> 00:23:56,316 -Thank you. -You're welcome.