Friends Season 2 Episode 9

Subtitles
​1 00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:08,372 Ugly Naked Guy is decorating his tree. 2 00:00:09,410 --> 00:00:12,277 You should see the size of his Christmas balls! 3 00:00:16,950 --> 00:00:18,577 How much did you tip the super? 4 00:00:18,986 --> 00:00:22,217 We were gonna give 50, but we don't wanna look bad. 5 00:00:22,556 --> 00:00:24,421 This year we made him cookies. 6 00:00:25,726 --> 00:00:26,886 And 25 it is. 7 00:00:28,829 --> 00:00:29,853 You gave cookies? 8 00:00:30,063 --> 00:00:31,963 Money is so impersonal. 9 00:00:32,166 --> 00:00:33,929 Cookies says someone cares. 10 00:00:35,636 --> 00:00:37,968 We're broke, but cookies do say that. 11 00:00:39,273 --> 00:00:40,262 I can see that. 12 00:00:40,474 --> 00:00:42,567 A plate of brownies told me a limerick. 13 00:00:45,779 --> 00:00:49,271 Pheebs, let me ask you something. Were these "funny" brownies? 14 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,114 Not especially. 15 00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,317 But I think they had pot in them. 16 00:00:57,090 --> 00:00:59,923 So who else did you tip with cookies? 17 00:01:00,794 --> 00:01:03,126 The mailman, the super.... 18 00:01:03,697 --> 00:01:05,688 And the newspaper delivery guy. 19 00:01:07,201 --> 00:01:08,668 Oh, my God. 20 00:01:08,936 --> 00:01:09,766 What? 21 00:01:10,304 --> 00:01:12,272 You're not gonna like this. 22 00:01:15,776 --> 00:01:19,109 These are cookies smashed to the sports section. 23 00:01:19,546 --> 00:01:21,173 He did my crossword puzzle. 24 00:01:21,381 --> 00:01:25,784 Yeah, but not very well, unless 14 across, "Gershwin musical"... 25 00:01:26,019 --> 00:01:29,011 ...actually is "Bite me, bite me, bite me." 26 00:01:30,123 --> 00:01:32,216 The One With Phoebe's Dad 27 00:02:17,339 --> 00:02:19,671 I can't believe it's Christmas already. 28 00:02:20,175 --> 00:02:23,042 One day you're eating turkey, the next thing you know... 29 00:02:23,245 --> 00:02:26,146 ...Iords are a-leaping and geese are a-laying. 30 00:02:27,650 --> 00:02:31,313 Which is why geese are so relaxed this time of year. 31 00:02:32,655 --> 00:02:33,815 Hey, guys. 32 00:02:36,592 --> 00:02:37,581 Hey, Rach. 33 00:02:38,093 --> 00:02:40,926 I got you a little present. 34 00:02:43,165 --> 00:02:44,132 I'll open it. 35 00:02:46,168 --> 00:02:47,192 It's a Slinky! 36 00:02:48,470 --> 00:02:49,494 Remember? 37 00:02:49,705 --> 00:02:51,969 Walks downstairs Alone or in pairs 38 00:02:52,174 --> 00:02:54,039 Everyone knows it's 39 00:02:55,778 --> 00:02:57,370 Just a big spring. 40 00:02:58,547 --> 00:03:00,811 You're still mad because of the whole 41 00:03:01,016 --> 00:03:03,348 Horrible list of reasons not to be with me? 42 00:03:03,552 --> 00:03:06,885 How about we just call it the "unfortunate incident"? 43 00:03:09,959 --> 00:03:12,826 Hey, Gunther. You got stairs in your place? 44 00:03:13,395 --> 00:03:14,885 Go nuts. 45 00:03:17,032 --> 00:03:18,021 Hey, guys. 46 00:03:20,135 --> 00:03:21,568 What's in the bag? 47 00:03:22,304 --> 00:03:23,328 Some presents. 48 00:03:23,539 --> 00:03:25,530 Come on, show us what you bought. 49 00:03:26,008 --> 00:03:27,703 You know you want to. 50 00:03:33,048 --> 00:03:36,347 This is a picture frame from Ben to my parents. 51 00:03:36,552 --> 00:03:38,042 Oh, that's cute. 52 00:03:38,253 --> 00:03:41,347 Some "Hers" and "Hers" towels for Susan and Carol. 53 00:03:44,893 --> 00:03:47,657 And I got this blouse for Mom. 54 00:03:48,063 --> 00:03:49,496 Ross, that is gorgeous! 55 00:03:50,165 --> 00:03:52,895 Look at these authentic fake metals! 56 00:03:53,168 --> 00:03:55,261 Mom's gonna be voted "best dressed"... 57 00:03:55,504 --> 00:03:58,098 ...at the make-believe military academy! 58 00:04:01,710 --> 00:04:03,905 Happy "Christmas Eve" Eve. 59 00:04:05,014 --> 00:04:06,845 Oh, my God! Where did you get this? 60 00:04:07,116 --> 00:04:09,949 Macy's, third floor, home furnishings. 61 00:04:10,185 --> 00:04:11,413 This is my father! 62 00:04:11,620 --> 00:04:14,111 This is a picture of my dad! 63 00:04:16,725 --> 00:04:19,353 That's the guy that comes in the frame. 64 00:04:19,595 --> 00:04:21,859 No, it's my dad. I'll show you. 65 00:04:22,264 --> 00:04:24,232 I thought your dad was in prison. 66 00:04:24,433 --> 00:04:26,060 No, that's my stepdad. 67 00:04:26,268 --> 00:04:29,567 My real dad's the one that ran out on us before I was born. 68 00:04:29,938 --> 00:04:31,735 How have you never been on Oprah? 69 00:04:33,642 --> 00:04:35,610 Look, see? This is him. 70 00:04:35,878 --> 00:04:39,473 My mother gave me this picture before she died. Same guy! 71 00:04:42,618 --> 00:04:44,779 This is a picture of the frame guy... 72 00:04:44,987 --> 00:04:48,115 ...posing in front of a blue screen with a collie. 73 00:04:48,624 --> 00:04:51,491 It's not a blue screen. It's just.... 74 00:04:51,760 --> 00:04:54,490 Maybe it was just really clear that day. 75 00:04:56,965 --> 00:04:59,627 Okay, I have to talk to my grandmother. 76 00:05:00,102 --> 00:05:01,467 Wait a minute, honey! 77 00:05:06,975 --> 00:05:09,944 I'm trying to get my boss's ex-wife to sleep with me. 78 00:05:12,414 --> 00:05:15,508 But when Phoebe has a problem, everyone's all ears! 79 00:05:18,253 --> 00:05:20,744 Esther Livingston. 80 00:05:22,591 --> 00:05:23,615 Gone! 81 00:05:26,028 --> 00:05:27,120 Hi, Pooh. 82 00:05:27,763 --> 00:05:29,924 Hi, Gram. What you doing? 83 00:05:30,132 --> 00:05:32,760 Just updating the phone book. 84 00:05:34,103 --> 00:05:35,035 Gram? 85 00:05:36,371 --> 00:05:38,601 Can I see the pictures of my dad again? 86 00:05:40,776 --> 00:05:41,834 Sure, sure. 87 00:05:43,512 --> 00:05:44,444 How come? 88 00:05:44,680 --> 00:05:47,342 Just, you know, to see him. 89 00:05:47,549 --> 00:05:48,880 Sure. Here. 90 00:05:51,153 --> 00:05:54,020 This is the one of your father in a meadow. 91 00:05:55,023 --> 00:05:58,390 And helping a little boy fly a kite. 92 00:05:59,194 --> 00:06:01,992 And here he is at a graduation. 93 00:06:03,565 --> 00:06:05,192 Another graduation. 94 00:06:08,070 --> 00:06:09,867 Another graduation. 95 00:06:11,840 --> 00:06:13,637 Is this really my father? 96 00:06:14,143 --> 00:06:16,373 Is it really your fa? 97 00:06:17,646 --> 00:06:19,375 Well, of course it is. 98 00:06:20,182 --> 00:06:23,549 I smell smoke. Maybe because someone's pants are on fire! 99 00:06:25,988 --> 00:06:28,855 In all the years we've been grandmother and granddaughter... 100 00:06:29,091 --> 00:06:30,388 ...you've never lied. 101 00:06:31,760 --> 00:06:36,094 All right, that's not your father. It's a picture of a guy in a frame. 102 00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:39,534 Oh, God. 103 00:06:40,335 --> 00:06:42,428 It was your mother's idea. 104 00:06:42,704 --> 00:06:45,070 She didn't want you to know your real father... 105 00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:47,208 ... because he hurt her so much. 106 00:06:47,776 --> 00:06:49,403 I didn't want to do it. 107 00:06:49,611 --> 00:06:52,944 But then she died and it was harder to argue with her. 108 00:06:54,883 --> 00:06:57,249 Not impossible, but harder. 109 00:06:58,220 --> 00:07:01,712 All right. So he's not a famous tree surgeon? 110 00:07:06,128 --> 00:07:10,462 And I guess he doesn't live in a hut in Burma where there's no phones? 111 00:07:11,266 --> 00:07:14,360 Last I heard, he was a pharmacist somewhere upstate. 112 00:07:14,570 --> 00:07:16,197 That makes no sense. 113 00:07:16,405 --> 00:07:19,465 Why would the villagers worship a pharmacist? 114 00:07:21,476 --> 00:07:22,738 Honey. 115 00:07:26,148 --> 00:07:29,140 Anyway, that's all I know. 116 00:07:31,720 --> 00:07:32,812 That... 117 00:07:34,990 --> 00:07:36,457 ...and this. 118 00:07:39,795 --> 00:07:40,887 This... 119 00:07:41,830 --> 00:07:43,730 ...is the real him. 120 00:07:48,770 --> 00:07:51,898 I remember my father all dressed up in the red suit... 121 00:07:52,140 --> 00:07:55,234 ...the big black boots and the patent leather belt... 122 00:07:55,477 --> 00:07:58,469 ...sneaking around downstairs. He didn't want us to see him... 123 00:07:58,747 --> 00:08:03,150 ... but he'd be drunk, so he'd crash into something and wake everybody up. 124 00:08:03,585 --> 00:08:06,645 That doesn't sound like a very merry Christmas. 125 00:08:06,922 --> 00:08:08,981 Who said anything about Christmas? 126 00:08:12,794 --> 00:08:14,694 Anyone hear from Phoebe yet? 127 00:08:14,930 --> 00:08:16,090 No, nothing. 128 00:08:16,465 --> 00:08:17,762 I hope she's okay. 129 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,991 I know exactly what she's going through. 130 00:08:20,769 --> 00:08:22,498 How do you know that? 131 00:08:22,971 --> 00:08:24,302 She told us. 132 00:08:27,709 --> 00:08:29,438 What do you got there, Monica? 133 00:08:29,678 --> 00:08:30,872 Stuff for the party. 134 00:08:31,113 --> 00:08:34,014 Aren't you guys supposed to be shopping? 135 00:08:34,216 --> 00:08:35,808 You didn't buy presents yet? 136 00:08:36,051 --> 00:08:38,781 Tomorrow's Christmas Eve! What are you gonna do? 137 00:08:38,987 --> 00:08:41,854 Don't you have to be Claymation to say that? 138 00:08:43,859 --> 00:08:46,726 I don't think the mailman liked your cookies. 139 00:08:46,962 --> 00:08:48,793 The ornaments your mom sent. 140 00:08:53,468 --> 00:08:57,404 Maybe the mailman liked the cookies. We just didn't give him enough. 141 00:08:57,639 --> 00:09:00,506 Monica, pigeons learn faster than you. 142 00:09:08,817 --> 00:09:09,875 Hey, Rach. 143 00:09:10,152 --> 00:09:13,053 I think I know what will make you feel better. 144 00:09:13,255 --> 00:09:15,985 How about you make a list about me? 145 00:09:16,191 --> 00:09:18,421 Forget it. I'm not gonna stand here... 146 00:09:18,660 --> 00:09:19,820 ...and make a list 147 00:09:20,062 --> 00:09:21,996 Okay, you're whiny... 148 00:09:22,230 --> 00:09:25,461 ...you are obsessive, you are insecure... 149 00:09:25,667 --> 00:09:27,032 ...you're gutless. 150 00:09:27,235 --> 00:09:29,260 You don't ever just "seize the day." 151 00:09:29,571 --> 00:09:33,598 You liked me for a year and you didn't do anything about it. 152 00:09:33,842 --> 00:09:37,005 And you wear too much of that gel in your hair. 153 00:09:40,582 --> 00:09:42,209 See, there.... 154 00:09:42,451 --> 00:09:44,885 All right, you did what I said. 155 00:09:45,354 --> 00:09:48,448 And you know what? You're right. I do feel better. 156 00:09:48,690 --> 00:09:49,679 Thank you, Ross. 157 00:09:55,764 --> 00:09:59,928 Yeah, in Albany. Could I have the number of Frank Buffay? 158 00:10:01,403 --> 00:10:03,633 Okay. In lthaca? 159 00:10:05,273 --> 00:10:07,241 All right, Saratoga? 160 00:10:08,310 --> 00:10:09,470 Oneonta? 161 00:10:10,746 --> 00:10:14,113 You know what? You shouldn't call yourself lnformation! 162 00:10:20,489 --> 00:10:24,084 Hello, Grandma. If that is, in fact, your real name. 163 00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:28,054 Come on now, Pooh. Don't still be mad at me. 164 00:10:29,464 --> 00:10:32,228 -How's it going? -Not so good. 165 00:10:33,268 --> 00:10:36,760 Upstate's pretty big. He's pretty small. You do the math. 166 00:10:37,606 --> 00:10:40,473 Well, I think you're better off without him. 167 00:10:41,276 --> 00:10:43,403 Oh, honey, I know he's your daddy. 168 00:10:43,645 --> 00:10:46,773 But to me, he's still the irresponsible creep... 169 00:10:46,982 --> 00:10:50,577 ...who locked up your mom and stole her Gremlin. 170 00:10:52,020 --> 00:10:56,252 I know. I just wanted to know who he was, you know? 171 00:10:58,326 --> 00:10:59,759 Yeah, I know. 172 00:11:02,531 --> 00:11:06,558 I wasn't completely honest with you when I said I didn't know... 173 00:11:06,768 --> 00:11:08,998 ...exactly where he lived. 174 00:11:09,337 --> 00:11:10,964 What do you mean? 175 00:11:11,173 --> 00:11:15,200 He lives at 74 Laurel Drive in Middletown. 176 00:11:17,546 --> 00:11:20,106 If you hit the Dairy Queen, you've gone too far. 177 00:11:20,315 --> 00:11:22,180 You can take my cab. 178 00:11:24,186 --> 00:11:25,175 Thank you. 179 00:11:26,721 --> 00:11:30,122 -Nobody else drives that cab. -Got it. 180 00:11:31,726 --> 00:11:33,785 I'm gonna see my dad! 181 00:11:34,362 --> 00:11:35,294 Thank you. 182 00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,627 Wish me luck, Grandpa. 183 00:11:51,512 --> 00:11:53,139 Phoebe here with the cab yet? 184 00:11:53,347 --> 00:11:55,474 Yeah, she brought the invisible cab. 185 00:11:55,682 --> 00:11:56,910 Hop in! 186 00:11:57,785 --> 00:12:00,447 She'd better get here. The stores close at 7. 187 00:12:00,654 --> 00:12:03,452 It'll be two hours to Phoebe's dad's house... 188 00:12:03,657 --> 00:12:05,750 ...they'll meet, chat, swap life stories. 189 00:12:08,259 --> 00:12:09,954 We'll have plenty of time. 190 00:12:11,463 --> 00:12:13,328 Hey, here she comes! 191 00:12:21,840 --> 00:12:22,966 Can you believe this? 192 00:12:23,341 --> 00:12:26,276 In, like, two hours I'm gonna have a dad. 193 00:12:27,412 --> 00:12:28,811 Yeah, big stuff! 194 00:12:29,180 --> 00:12:30,477 Okay, let's go! 195 00:12:30,682 --> 00:12:32,650 Here, you have to hold this. 196 00:12:36,121 --> 00:12:38,021 "Brake, left. Gas, right"? 197 00:12:38,957 --> 00:12:40,288 That's my cheat sheet. 198 00:12:44,162 --> 00:12:46,960 -Where's my seat belt? -There isn't one. 199 00:12:47,198 --> 00:12:49,462 The paramedics had to cut through it. 200 00:13:01,613 --> 00:13:04,446 Come on, just tell me. Please, please! 201 00:13:04,716 --> 00:13:08,618 For the 16th time: No, I do not think you're obsessive! 202 00:13:10,455 --> 00:13:13,219 -It's hot in here! -Rach, get the heat. 203 00:13:13,458 --> 00:13:15,688 Ross, turn the heat down, please? 204 00:13:16,194 --> 00:13:18,355 The difference between obsessive 205 00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:19,688 Ross, the heat! 206 00:13:19,898 --> 00:13:23,857 Okay! Heat, heat, heat! And I'm the obsessive one? 207 00:13:26,137 --> 00:13:28,037 This way is on. 208 00:13:28,239 --> 00:13:30,503 So this is... 209 00:13:33,077 --> 00:13:34,135 ...off. 210 00:13:35,814 --> 00:13:38,009 Did you just break the radiator? 211 00:13:38,216 --> 00:13:40,912 No, I was turning the knob and... 212 00:13:41,319 --> 00:13:42,843 ... here it is. 213 00:13:43,588 --> 00:13:45,522 Well, put it back! 214 00:13:48,726 --> 00:13:50,421 It won't go back. 215 00:13:50,662 --> 00:13:51,720 I'll call the super. 216 00:13:51,996 --> 00:13:53,327 Here, let me try. 217 00:13:53,531 --> 00:13:56,989 That's right. I forgot about your ability to fuse metal. 218 00:13:58,069 --> 00:13:59,730 Hey, it's Funny's cousin... 219 00:13:59,938 --> 00:14:00,996 ... Not Funny! 220 00:14:01,506 --> 00:14:02,768 Hi, Mr. Treeger? 221 00:14:03,007 --> 00:14:04,907 It's Rachel Greene from upstairs. 222 00:14:05,176 --> 00:14:08,202 Yes, somebody broke our knob on the radiator... 223 00:14:08,413 --> 00:14:10,779 ...and it's really hot in here. 224 00:14:11,850 --> 00:14:14,410 Yes, it's hot enough to bake cookies. 225 00:14:17,021 --> 00:14:19,353 Could we have a new one by 6? 226 00:14:20,124 --> 00:14:22,456 Tuesday? We can't wait until Tuesday. 227 00:14:22,727 --> 00:14:24,285 We're having a party tonight. 228 00:14:24,529 --> 00:14:26,019 Okay, tip the man. 229 00:14:26,231 --> 00:14:28,529 If he doesn't like our cookies, too bad. 230 00:14:28,733 --> 00:14:29,961 I won't be blackmailed. 231 00:14:30,235 --> 00:14:32,465 Look, if it gets a little warm... 232 00:14:32,770 --> 00:14:34,397 ...it can be a theme party. 233 00:14:34,639 --> 00:14:37,403 Here's a theme: "Come on in, live like bacon!" 234 00:14:40,845 --> 00:14:42,005 This is it! 235 00:14:42,313 --> 00:14:43,337 Seventy-four. 236 00:14:45,850 --> 00:14:48,080 So that's what this is for! 237 00:14:49,587 --> 00:14:52,249 This is it. I'm gonna meet my dad. 238 00:14:52,657 --> 00:14:54,818 This is like the biggest thing ever. 239 00:14:55,593 --> 00:14:57,060 Sure is. 240 00:14:57,261 --> 00:14:58,922 Here I go. I'm going in. 241 00:14:59,163 --> 00:14:59,993 All right! 242 00:15:00,264 --> 00:15:01,856 Good luck, Pheebs. 243 00:15:03,601 --> 00:15:05,159 Here I go. 244 00:15:07,038 --> 00:15:08,528 Here I go. 245 00:15:10,274 --> 00:15:11,673 I'm going. 246 00:15:25,123 --> 00:15:27,683 Welcome to our tropical Christmas party. 247 00:15:27,959 --> 00:15:31,451 Put your coats, sweaters, pants and shirts in the bedroom. 248 00:15:33,965 --> 00:15:36,399 It's hard to tell because I'm sweating... 249 00:15:36,634 --> 00:15:39,660 ... but I use exactly what the gel bottle says. 250 00:15:42,140 --> 00:15:46,543 An amount about the size of a pea. How can that be too much? 251 00:15:49,347 --> 00:15:50,473 Ice? 252 00:15:51,082 --> 00:15:54,574 Ice? Ice squares anyone? Take a napkin. 253 00:15:56,754 --> 00:15:57,982 Monica! 254 00:15:59,657 --> 00:16:02,148 Your guests are turning into jerky. 255 00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,521 Really? I'm perfectly comfortable. 256 00:16:05,329 --> 00:16:07,820 Hey! Get in line, buddy. I was next. 257 00:16:12,370 --> 00:16:13,564 Mr. Treeger. 258 00:16:13,905 --> 00:16:15,338 You said there was a party. 259 00:16:17,041 --> 00:16:19,202 Well, hey, welcome to our sauna. 260 00:16:19,443 --> 00:16:22,571 Is it hot? My body always stays cool. 261 00:16:22,847 --> 00:16:25,042 Probably because I have so much skin. 262 00:16:26,284 --> 00:16:27,945 Hey, cheese! 263 00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,382 Here's the chance. Monica, give him cash. 264 00:16:32,590 --> 00:16:35,718 Rachel, give him your earrings. Something. Anything! 265 00:16:35,927 --> 00:16:37,519 No, I will not cave. 266 00:16:37,728 --> 00:16:38,626 I'm with Mon. 267 00:16:38,863 --> 00:16:42,196 All right. You know how you say I never seize the day? 268 00:16:42,433 --> 00:16:45,732 Even though he's your super, I'm seizing. 269 00:16:47,638 --> 00:16:48,900 Mr. Treeger? 270 00:16:50,141 --> 00:16:52,735 Here is $50. Merry Christmas. 271 00:16:54,312 --> 00:16:56,109 I didn't get you anything. 272 00:16:56,781 --> 00:16:58,408 Here's five back. 273 00:16:59,550 --> 00:17:02,314 No, that's your Christmas tip. 274 00:17:02,553 --> 00:17:07,081 Do you think there's a chance you can fix that radiator now? 275 00:17:07,291 --> 00:17:09,452 No can do. Like I told the girl... 276 00:17:09,760 --> 00:17:11,489 ... I can't get a knob until Tuesday. 277 00:17:12,363 --> 00:17:13,295 Ross? 278 00:17:14,131 --> 00:17:15,792 He's playing baseball. 279 00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,627 You mean hardball? 280 00:17:21,239 --> 00:17:22,263 Whatever. 281 00:17:23,074 --> 00:17:24,098 What you gonna do? 282 00:17:24,308 --> 00:17:26,435 Excuse me. I'm seizing. 283 00:17:26,644 --> 00:17:27,906 Mr. Treeger? 284 00:17:29,280 --> 00:17:30,804 Here's another 50. 285 00:17:31,282 --> 00:17:32,510 Happy Hanukkah. 286 00:17:33,017 --> 00:17:36,111 Will this help with the knob-getting? 287 00:17:37,688 --> 00:17:40,350 No, the place is not open till Tuesday. 288 00:17:41,025 --> 00:17:43,016 Am I not saying it right? 289 00:17:44,462 --> 00:17:46,862 So you really did like my cookies? 290 00:17:47,098 --> 00:17:50,864 Yeah, they were so personal. It really showed you cared. 291 00:17:56,440 --> 00:17:58,101 Nice seizing... 292 00:17:58,342 --> 00:17:59,934 ...gel boy. 293 00:18:04,615 --> 00:18:06,549 Is this mistletoe? 294 00:18:08,552 --> 00:18:10,179 No, that.... 295 00:18:10,454 --> 00:18:12,217 That is basil. 296 00:18:15,993 --> 00:18:19,019 If it was mistletoe, I was gonna kiss you. 297 00:18:21,332 --> 00:18:22,959 No, it's still basil. 298 00:18:25,569 --> 00:18:30,165 Chestnuts roasting on an open fire 299 00:18:32,510 --> 00:18:36,412 Jack Frost nipping at your nose 300 00:18:38,916 --> 00:18:40,645 -How far did you get? -Mailbox. 301 00:18:40,851 --> 00:18:43,513 All right, we're getting closer. 302 00:18:45,323 --> 00:18:46,483 What's going on? 303 00:18:47,358 --> 00:18:50,020 It's just like a whole mess of stuff. 304 00:18:50,261 --> 00:18:54,823 Like yesterday, my dad was this famous Burma tree-surgeon guy. 305 00:18:55,066 --> 00:18:58,502 And you know, now he's a pharmacist guy and.... 306 00:18:58,703 --> 00:19:02,833 Well, maybe he's this really cool pharmacist guy. 307 00:19:03,074 --> 00:19:06,908 Yeah, maybe! And I'll knock on the door... 308 00:19:07,578 --> 00:19:10,843 ...and he'll hug me, and I'll have a dad! 309 00:19:11,082 --> 00:19:14,711 I'll go to his pharmacy and everyone will be nice to me... 310 00:19:14,952 --> 00:19:17,750 ... because, you know, I'm Frank's daughter. 311 00:19:17,955 --> 00:19:19,354 So why not go knock? 312 00:19:23,194 --> 00:19:27,961 Because, I mean, what if he's not this great-dad guy? 313 00:19:28,799 --> 00:19:33,395 What if he's still the dirtbag who ran out on my mom and us? 314 00:19:38,442 --> 00:19:39,807 You know what? 315 00:19:40,478 --> 00:19:43,140 I've already lost a fake dad this week. 316 00:19:44,715 --> 00:19:47,115 I don't think I'm ready to lose a real one. 317 00:19:49,620 --> 00:19:53,317 Pheebs, that's okay. You took a big step today. 318 00:19:56,260 --> 00:19:59,787 Someday, when you're ready, you'll make it past the hedges. 319 00:19:59,997 --> 00:20:02,830 And when you do, he'll be lucky to have you. 320 00:20:03,901 --> 00:20:05,391 You guys.... 321 00:20:09,607 --> 00:20:11,131 Sorry about your shopping. 322 00:20:11,342 --> 00:20:14,243 Oh, that's okay. We'll figure something out. 323 00:20:16,947 --> 00:20:19,142 I know you're not going in there... 324 00:20:19,350 --> 00:20:22,786 ... but you think it's okay if I go in and use his bathroom? 325 00:20:23,821 --> 00:20:25,686 That's fine, never mind. 326 00:20:27,491 --> 00:20:28,981 Cool, snow! 327 00:20:29,193 --> 00:20:31,127 Kind of like a blank canvas. 328 00:20:41,205 --> 00:20:44,299 Ho-ho-ho-holy crap, is it hot in here! 329 00:20:46,644 --> 00:20:48,703 You mind if I turn the heat down? 330 00:20:48,946 --> 00:20:52,177 We could have used that kind of thinking earlier! 331 00:20:52,616 --> 00:20:54,277 So, Pheebs, how did it go? 332 00:20:54,685 --> 00:20:56,846 Oh, I couldn't go in. 333 00:20:57,054 --> 00:20:59,022 -Honey, I'm sorry. -Are you okay? 334 00:20:59,223 --> 00:21:01,987 Yeah, it's okay, because I know he's there. 335 00:21:02,193 --> 00:21:04,127 So that's enough for now. 336 00:21:04,328 --> 00:21:07,491 Hey, it's after midnight! Merry Christmas, everyone! 337 00:21:07,698 --> 00:21:10,633 Oh, right! Merry Christmas! 338 00:21:12,837 --> 00:21:14,134 The knob was broken... 339 00:21:14,338 --> 00:21:17,830 ...so I turned it off from underneath. I hope that's all right. 340 00:21:37,553 --> 00:21:39,578 Rach, these are for you. 341 00:21:40,556 --> 00:21:42,080 Wiper blades! 342 00:21:42,859 --> 00:21:44,554 I don't even have a car. 343 00:21:44,760 --> 00:21:48,856 No, but with this new-car smell, you'll think you do! 344 00:21:51,868 --> 00:21:53,859 Okay, Pheebs, your turn. 345 00:21:57,974 --> 00:21:59,601 Toilet-seat covers! 346 00:22:02,745 --> 00:22:05,407 Is that what you did while I got gas? 347 00:22:05,781 --> 00:22:07,442 You guys! 348 00:22:08,551 --> 00:22:09,643 And for Ross... 349 00:22:09,919 --> 00:22:11,580 ... Mr. Sweet Tooth. 350 00:22:15,391 --> 00:22:17,325 You got me a cola drink? 351 00:22:18,494 --> 00:22:20,291 And a lemon-lime! 352 00:22:22,331 --> 00:22:27,200 Well, this is too much! I feel like I should get you another sweater. 353 00:22:29,438 --> 00:22:31,531 And last, but not least.... 354 00:22:33,943 --> 00:22:36,104 They're ribbed for your pleasure!