Friends Season 2 Episode 3

Subtitles
fuck off nigga

​1 00:00:06,340 --> 00:00:07,329 So how was Joan? 2 00:00:07,674 --> 00:00:08,504 Broke up with her. 3 00:00:09,209 --> 00:00:10,107 Oh, why? 4 00:00:10,310 --> 00:00:13,040 Don't tell me. Because of the big nostril thing? 5 00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:16,011 They were huge! 6 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,216 When she sneezed, bats flew out of them. 7 00:00:20,187 --> 00:00:22,018 They were not that huge. 8 00:00:22,289 --> 00:00:25,554 I'm telling you, she leaned back, I could see her brain. 9 00:00:27,194 --> 00:00:28,923 How many women will you reject... 10 00:00:29,163 --> 00:00:31,427 ...over superficial, insignificant things 11 00:00:31,732 --> 00:00:34,394 Hold it. I gotta side with Chandler on this one. 12 00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:37,193 When I first moved here, I went out with this girl. 13 00:00:37,438 --> 00:00:39,872 Really hot. Great kisser... 14 00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:43,234 ...but she had the biggest Adam's apple. 15 00:00:44,278 --> 00:00:45,438 Drove me nuts. 16 00:00:47,081 --> 00:00:49,675 -You or me? -I got it. 17 00:00:49,884 --> 00:00:52,512 Joey, women don't have Adam's apples. 18 00:01:00,094 --> 00:01:02,392 You guys are messing with me, right? 19 00:01:04,265 --> 00:01:06,199 Yeah. We are! 20 00:01:07,268 --> 00:01:10,931 That's a good one. For a second there, I was like, whoa! 21 00:01:12,139 --> 00:01:14,232 The One Where Heckles Dies 22 00:01:58,787 --> 00:02:03,053 You name one woman that you broke up with for an actual real reason. 23 00:02:04,325 --> 00:02:05,223 Maureen Rasillo. 24 00:02:05,460 --> 00:02:09,123 Because she doesn't hate Yanni is not a real reason. 25 00:02:13,601 --> 00:02:15,159 Hello, Mr. Heckles. 26 00:02:16,304 --> 00:02:17,396 You're doing it again. 27 00:02:18,006 --> 00:02:19,098 We're not doing anything. 28 00:02:19,407 --> 00:02:22,240 You're stomping. It's disturbing my birds. 29 00:02:24,112 --> 00:02:26,672 You don't have birds. 30 00:02:27,248 --> 00:02:29,113 I could have birds. 31 00:02:30,084 --> 00:02:31,984 We'll try to keep it down. 32 00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:33,515 Thank you. 33 00:02:33,755 --> 00:02:36,246 I'm going to rejoin my dinner party. 34 00:02:37,125 --> 00:02:38,956 All right, bye-bye. 35 00:02:40,495 --> 00:02:41,484 Okay, Janice. 36 00:02:41,763 --> 00:02:44,630 Give me Janice. That wasn't about being picky. 37 00:02:44,833 --> 00:02:45,993 We'll give you Janice. 38 00:02:46,167 --> 00:02:47,998 I miss Janice, though. 39 00:02:48,303 --> 00:02:50,328 Hello, Chandler Bing! 40 00:02:52,640 --> 00:02:56,235 Oh, my God! 41 00:02:56,544 --> 00:02:58,068 Oh, Chandler! 42 00:02:58,379 --> 00:03:00,404 Now! Now! 43 00:03:03,151 --> 00:03:03,981 That's it. 44 00:03:04,853 --> 00:03:07,321 There! Faster! 45 00:03:14,462 --> 00:03:18,125 Stop with the broom! We're not making noise! 46 00:03:28,176 --> 00:03:29,336 We won. 47 00:03:29,544 --> 00:03:31,034 We did it! 48 00:03:34,449 --> 00:03:35,848 Mr. Heckles! 49 00:03:40,154 --> 00:03:42,554 -How did this happen? -He was sweeping. 50 00:03:42,824 --> 00:03:45,019 They found a broom in his hand. 51 00:03:48,162 --> 00:03:49,823 -That's terrible. -I know. 52 00:03:50,298 --> 00:03:52,232 I was sweeping yesterday. 53 00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,229 It could've been me. 54 00:03:56,137 --> 00:03:57,968 Sweeping. You never know. 55 00:03:58,206 --> 00:03:59,366 Never know. 56 00:04:03,845 --> 00:04:07,804 It's very faint, but I can still sense him in the building. 57 00:04:08,550 --> 00:04:11,314 Go into the light, Mr. Heckles! 58 00:04:14,756 --> 00:04:16,155 Okay, Phoebe. 59 00:04:16,925 --> 00:04:19,052 I'm sorry, but sometimes they need help. 60 00:04:21,496 --> 00:04:22,394 Here we go. 61 00:04:22,597 --> 00:04:25,065 That's fine, go ahead and scoff. 62 00:04:25,333 --> 00:04:27,767 There are a lot of things I don't believe in... 63 00:04:28,036 --> 00:04:30,095 ... but that doesn't mean they're not true. 64 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,565 Such as? 65 00:04:31,906 --> 00:04:36,400 Like crop circles or the Bermuda Triangle or evolution. 66 00:04:40,348 --> 00:04:42,578 What, you don't believe in evolution? 67 00:04:42,884 --> 00:04:44,078 Not really. 68 00:04:46,721 --> 00:04:48,245 You don't believe in evolution? 69 00:04:48,723 --> 00:04:50,850 I don't know. It's just, you know.... 70 00:04:51,092 --> 00:04:55,859 Monkeys, Darwin, it's a nice story. I just think it's a little too easy. 71 00:04:59,267 --> 00:05:02,031 "Too easy"? Too 72 00:05:02,270 --> 00:05:05,706 The process of every living thing on this planet evolving... 73 00:05:05,907 --> 00:05:10,241 ...over millions of years from single-celled organisms is "too easy"? 74 00:05:11,045 --> 00:05:13,036 Yeah, I just don't buy it. 75 00:05:13,948 --> 00:05:18,146 Excuse me. Evolution is not for you to buy, Phoebe. 76 00:05:18,419 --> 00:05:22,219 Evolution is scientific fact, like the air we breathe... 77 00:05:22,457 --> 00:05:23,981 ...Iike gravity. 78 00:05:24,225 --> 00:05:26,489 Don't get me started on gravity. 79 00:05:31,799 --> 00:05:33,494 You don't believe in gravity? 80 00:05:34,902 --> 00:05:38,929 Well, it's not so much that, you know, I don't believe in it. 81 00:05:39,173 --> 00:05:41,073 Lately I get the feeling that... 82 00:05:41,275 --> 00:05:44,472 ...I'm not so much being pulled down as I am being pushed. 83 00:05:44,746 --> 00:05:45,804 Pushed. 84 00:05:48,149 --> 00:05:50,481 It's lsaac Newton and he's pissed. 85 00:05:56,388 --> 00:05:59,619 There she is. And over there, that's the other one. 86 00:05:59,825 --> 00:06:02,020 This is Mr. Buddy Doyle, Heckles' attorney. 87 00:06:02,294 --> 00:06:03,318 He'd like to talk to you. 88 00:06:03,795 --> 00:06:04,989 What can we do for you? 89 00:06:05,197 --> 00:06:07,290 All right, kids, here's the deal. 90 00:06:07,499 --> 00:06:09,524 According my client's will... 91 00:06:09,735 --> 00:06:14,297 ... he wants to leave all his earthly possessions... 92 00:06:14,539 --> 00:06:18,305 ...to "the noisy girls in the apartment above mine." 93 00:06:19,811 --> 00:06:20,971 What about his family? 94 00:06:21,213 --> 00:06:22,680 He didn't have any. 95 00:06:24,649 --> 00:06:26,879 Okay, so let's talk money. 96 00:06:28,687 --> 00:06:30,018 All right, there was none. 97 00:06:30,255 --> 00:06:31,882 Now, let's talk signing. 98 00:06:32,157 --> 00:06:35,320 You be noisy girl number one. You be noisy girl number two. 99 00:06:36,928 --> 00:06:40,022 I can't believe that this whole time we thought he hated us. 100 00:06:40,332 --> 00:06:43,768 Isn't it amazing how much you can touch someone's life... 101 00:06:44,035 --> 00:06:46,003 ...without even knowing it? 102 00:06:46,238 --> 00:06:47,728 Would you look at this dump? 103 00:06:47,939 --> 00:06:50,237 He hated us! This was his final revenge! 104 00:06:50,509 --> 00:06:52,739 I've never seen so much crap! 105 00:06:53,044 --> 00:06:56,571 Actually, I think this apartment sullies the good name of crap. 106 00:06:57,582 --> 00:06:59,209 Check this out. 107 00:07:01,186 --> 00:07:02,710 Can I have this? 108 00:07:04,122 --> 00:07:06,886 How can you not believe in evolution? 109 00:07:07,893 --> 00:07:10,862 I don't know, just don't. Look at this funky shirt! 110 00:07:11,696 --> 00:07:14,529 Pheebs, I've studied evolution my entire adult life. 111 00:07:14,766 --> 00:07:18,099 And we've collected fossils from all over the world... 112 00:07:18,403 --> 00:07:21,804 ...that actually show the evolution of different species. 113 00:07:22,073 --> 00:07:24,803 I mean, you can literally see them... 114 00:07:25,043 --> 00:07:28,604 ...evolving through time. 115 00:07:29,714 --> 00:07:31,739 Really? You can actually see it? 116 00:07:31,983 --> 00:07:36,579 You bet! In the U.S., China, Africa, all over! 117 00:07:37,322 --> 00:07:39,222 See, I didn't know that. 118 00:07:39,825 --> 00:07:41,918 Well, there you go. 119 00:07:43,728 --> 00:07:48,631 So now the real question is, who put those fossils there and why? 120 00:07:52,637 --> 00:07:56,095 Look at this! My Big Book of Grievances. 121 00:07:58,777 --> 00:08:00,267 Hey, there's me! 122 00:08:01,079 --> 00:08:03,843 "April 1 7th, excessive noise... 123 00:08:04,082 --> 00:08:06,983 ... Italian guy comes home with a date." 124 00:08:07,819 --> 00:08:09,116 You're in here too. 125 00:08:09,621 --> 00:08:11,987 "April 1 8th, excessive noise... 126 00:08:12,257 --> 00:08:15,920 ... Italian guy's gay roommate brings home dry cleaning." 127 00:08:22,868 --> 00:08:24,665 Well, that's excellent. 128 00:08:25,971 --> 00:08:27,336 Look at this lamp. 129 00:08:27,539 --> 00:08:29,973 Is this tacky or what? We have to have this. 130 00:08:31,176 --> 00:08:33,337 I think we have enough regular lamps. 131 00:08:33,612 --> 00:08:35,705 What? Come on, it's not like... 132 00:08:35,947 --> 00:08:38,643 ... I'm asking for this girlie clock or anything. 133 00:08:38,884 --> 00:08:41,785 Which, by the way, I also think is really cool. 134 00:08:42,654 --> 00:08:45,020 Look, it doesn't go with any of my stuff. 135 00:08:45,224 --> 00:08:46,953 Well, what about my stuff? 136 00:08:46,860 --> 00:08:48,225 You don't have any stuff. 137 00:08:53,230 --> 00:08:55,994 You still think of it as your apartment, don't you? 138 00:08:58,034 --> 00:08:59,092 Yes, you do. 139 00:08:59,369 --> 00:09:02,668 You think of it as your apartment and I just rent a room. 140 00:09:05,575 --> 00:09:09,602 While you "mmm" on that, I'll go find a place for my new lamp. 141 00:09:12,949 --> 00:09:16,544 Okay, Pheebs. See how I'm making these little toys move? 142 00:09:19,756 --> 00:09:20,780 Opposable thumbs! 143 00:09:22,792 --> 00:09:27,252 Without evolution, how do you explain opposable thumbs? 144 00:09:28,198 --> 00:09:32,134 Maybe the Overlords needed them to steer their spacecrafts. 145 00:09:33,470 --> 00:09:34,528 Tell me you're joking. 146 00:09:35,071 --> 00:09:38,973 Look, can't we say that you believe in something and I don't? 147 00:09:39,242 --> 00:09:41,938 -No, Pheebs, we can't. 148 00:09:54,712 --> 00:09:56,113 No, what's that all about? 149 00:09:56,849 --> 00:09:59,511 What is this obsessive need to make everybody agree with you? 150 00:09:59,919 --> 00:10:04,982 I think maybe it's time you put Ross under the microscope. 151 00:10:10,028 --> 00:10:12,087 Is there blood coming out of my ears? 152 00:10:14,700 --> 00:10:17,362 Check it out. Heckles' high-school yearbook. 153 00:10:19,204 --> 00:10:20,501 He looks so normal! 154 00:10:20,739 --> 00:10:22,730 He's even kind of cute. 155 00:10:22,941 --> 00:10:25,239 "Heckles, you crack me up in science class. 156 00:10:25,510 --> 00:10:27,501 You're the funniest kid in school." 157 00:10:27,746 --> 00:10:30,044 -Funniest? Heckles? -That's what it says. 158 00:10:31,283 --> 00:10:34,548 Heckles was voted class clown, and so was l. 159 00:10:36,454 --> 00:10:38,718 He was right! Would you listen to that? 160 00:10:38,924 --> 00:10:41,256 I'd call that excessive. 161 00:10:42,193 --> 00:10:43,023 What? 162 00:10:43,295 --> 00:10:46,196 Heckles played clarinet in band, and I played clarinet. 163 00:10:46,865 --> 00:10:49,959 He was in the scale modeler's club and I was 164 00:10:50,201 --> 00:10:53,295 There was no club, but I sure thought they were cool. 165 00:10:53,705 --> 00:10:56,037 So? You were both dorks. 166 00:10:56,708 --> 00:10:57,470 Big deal. 167 00:10:57,976 --> 00:11:00,968 I just think it's weird, you know? Heckles and me 168 00:11:01,479 --> 00:11:03,242 Heckles and me. Me 169 00:11:03,715 --> 00:11:04,773 Me and Heckles. 170 00:11:05,283 --> 00:11:07,478 Hey, would you knock it off! 171 00:11:27,670 --> 00:11:28,898 Have you been here all night? 172 00:11:29,639 --> 00:11:30,936 Look at this. 173 00:11:31,574 --> 00:11:33,474 Pictures of all the women Heckles went out with. 174 00:11:33,676 --> 00:11:37,407 Look what he wrote on them. "Vivian, too tall." 175 00:11:37,647 --> 00:11:39,274 "Madge, big gums." 176 00:11:40,516 --> 00:11:41,505 "Too loud." 177 00:11:41,818 --> 00:11:43,911 "Too smart." "Makes noise when she eats." 178 00:11:44,120 --> 00:11:45,747 This is me. 179 00:11:46,022 --> 00:11:47,853 This is what I do. 180 00:11:49,525 --> 00:11:51,959 I'm gonna end up alone, just like he did. 181 00:11:52,195 --> 00:11:53,822 Heckles was a nut case. 182 00:11:54,097 --> 00:11:55,997 Our trains are on the same track. 183 00:11:56,265 --> 00:11:59,701 I'm coming up 30 years behind him, but the stops are all the same. 184 00:12:00,003 --> 00:12:01,595 Bitter Town... 185 00:12:02,005 --> 00:12:04,599 ...Alone-ville, Hermit Junction! 186 00:12:06,175 --> 00:12:08,507 You know what we gotta do? Get you out of here. 187 00:12:08,778 --> 00:12:10,439 I'll buy you breakfast. 188 00:12:10,680 --> 00:12:13,513 What if I never find somebody? Or worse, what if I found her... 189 00:12:13,783 --> 00:12:17,651 ... but I dumped her because she pronounces it, "supposably"? 190 00:12:18,354 --> 00:12:21,346 Chandler, come on, you're gonna find somebody. 191 00:12:21,624 --> 00:12:23,489 How do you know that? How? 192 00:12:23,693 --> 00:12:26,389 I don't know. I'm just trying to help you out. 193 00:12:27,497 --> 00:12:29,362 You guys will all get married... 194 00:12:29,632 --> 00:12:31,031 ...and I'll end up alone. 195 00:12:31,868 --> 00:12:33,495 Will you promise me something? 196 00:12:33,736 --> 00:12:37,035 When you're married, will you invite me over for holidays? 197 00:12:37,540 --> 00:12:39,201 I don't know what we'll be doing. 198 00:12:42,211 --> 00:12:45,408 I mean, what if we're over at her folks' place? 199 00:12:47,683 --> 00:12:49,742 Yeah, I understand. 200 00:12:52,989 --> 00:12:55,389 You can come over and watch the Super Bowl. 201 00:12:55,591 --> 00:12:57,525 Every year, all right? 202 00:12:58,761 --> 00:13:02,094 You know what? I'm not gonna end up like this. 203 00:13:02,365 --> 00:13:04,196 I'll see you, man. 204 00:13:13,776 --> 00:13:15,209 "Supposably." 205 00:13:17,947 --> 00:13:19,380 Supposably! 206 00:13:22,018 --> 00:13:24,248 Did they go to the zoo? 207 00:13:24,454 --> 00:13:26,684 Supposably. 208 00:13:39,235 --> 00:13:41,567 Hi. It's me. 209 00:13:43,306 --> 00:13:46,104 Oh, my God! 210 00:13:47,410 --> 00:13:49,605 Janice? You called Janice? 211 00:13:51,314 --> 00:13:52,440 Yes. Janice. 212 00:13:52,715 --> 00:13:54,615 Why is that difficult to comprehend? 213 00:13:54,884 --> 00:13:57,079 You remember Janice, right? 214 00:13:58,254 --> 00:14:02,782 Yes. She was smart, she was pretty and she honestly cared about me. 215 00:14:03,059 --> 00:14:05,721 Janice is my last chance to have somebody. 216 00:14:12,802 --> 00:14:14,827 Oh, my God! 217 00:14:17,006 --> 00:14:18,633 Jeez, look how fat she got. 218 00:14:20,676 --> 00:14:24,339 -Hey, it's everybody! -Hi, Janice. 219 00:14:24,647 --> 00:14:25,773 Janice, you're.... 220 00:14:26,015 --> 00:14:28,006 Yes, I am. 221 00:14:28,818 --> 00:14:30,683 -ls it? -ls it yours? 222 00:14:30,920 --> 00:14:32,945 You wish, Chandler Bing! 223 00:14:33,656 --> 00:14:37,592 You are looking at a married lady now. 224 00:14:42,265 --> 00:14:44,096 Congratulations. 225 00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:46,528 Sweetie, I'm sorry. 226 00:14:49,836 --> 00:14:51,701 You couldn't tell me on the phone? 227 00:14:51,971 --> 00:14:54,940 And what? Miss the expression on your face? Oh, no! 228 00:14:55,141 --> 00:14:57,939 Janice likes to have her fun! 229 00:15:09,790 --> 00:15:11,849 You know what we haven't played in a while? 230 00:15:12,859 --> 00:15:14,486 Hide the lamp. 231 00:15:16,463 --> 00:15:18,226 Monica, let it go. 232 00:15:19,566 --> 00:15:21,397 Did you know I'm allergic to shellfish? 233 00:15:21,635 --> 00:15:24,695 Then you'll just have to eat the other lamps. 234 00:15:27,841 --> 00:15:30,469 It's scary scientist man. 235 00:15:33,146 --> 00:15:34,875 Okay, Phoebe, this is it. 236 00:15:35,082 --> 00:15:38,813 In this briefcase I carry actual scientific facts. 237 00:15:39,052 --> 00:15:41,748 A briefcase of facts, if you will. 238 00:15:43,924 --> 00:15:48,987 Some of these fossils are over 200 million years old. 239 00:15:49,262 --> 00:15:52,425 Before you even start, I'm not denying evolution. 240 00:15:52,699 --> 00:15:54,758 It's just one of the possibilities. 241 00:15:55,001 --> 00:15:56,935 It's the only possibility. 242 00:15:57,204 --> 00:16:00,571 Ross, could you just open your mind, like, this much? 243 00:16:02,375 --> 00:16:06,539 Didn't the brightest minds in the world believe the Earth was flat? 244 00:16:07,447 --> 00:16:12,043 And up till 50 years ago, you thought the atom was the smallest thing... 245 00:16:12,285 --> 00:16:16,016 ...until you split it open and this whole mess of crap came out. 246 00:16:18,358 --> 00:16:22,522 Are you telling me that you are so unbelievably arrogant... 247 00:16:22,796 --> 00:16:26,596 ...that you can't admit that there's a teeny, tiny possibility... 248 00:16:26,800 --> 00:16:28,791 ...that you could be wrong about this? 249 00:16:35,609 --> 00:16:37,543 There might be... 250 00:16:38,812 --> 00:16:40,643 ...a teeny... 251 00:16:42,082 --> 00:16:43,140 ...tiny... 252 00:16:44,818 --> 00:16:46,445 ... possibility. 253 00:16:48,221 --> 00:16:50,416 I can't believe you caved. 254 00:16:53,326 --> 00:16:56,659 You just abandoned your whole belief system! 255 00:16:58,064 --> 00:17:01,329 Before, I didn't agree with you, but at least I respected you. 256 00:17:01,768 --> 00:17:02,996 But.... 257 00:17:03,470 --> 00:17:05,665 How are you gonna go into work tomorrow? 258 00:17:05,906 --> 00:17:08,636 How are you going to face the other science guys? 259 00:17:08,842 --> 00:17:11,675 How are you going to face yourself? 260 00:17:28,261 --> 00:17:30,286 That was fun. So who's hungry? 261 00:17:30,530 --> 00:17:31,428 I am. 262 00:17:31,631 --> 00:17:33,826 Me too. Let me just get my coat. 263 00:17:42,008 --> 00:17:42,838 What happened? 264 00:17:45,212 --> 00:17:46,645 It was an accident, I swear. 265 00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:50,816 I was putting on my jacket and the thing and the lamp and it broke. 266 00:17:51,051 --> 00:17:54,452 Oh, please, Monica! You've always hated my lamp! 267 00:17:54,688 --> 00:17:58,886 And now all of a sudden, it's just magically, it's just broken? 268 00:17:59,159 --> 00:18:00,353 Phoebe, tell her? 269 00:18:00,627 --> 00:18:03,892 I didn't see it, because I was putting on my jacket. 270 00:18:04,130 --> 00:18:05,461 But I want to believe you. 271 00:18:09,903 --> 00:18:13,839 Hey, Chandler. Monica just broke my seashell lamp. 272 00:18:14,374 --> 00:18:15,534 Neat. 273 00:18:15,742 --> 00:18:17,642 I'm gonna die alone! 274 00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:20,910 Okay, you win. 275 00:18:23,016 --> 00:18:25,314 Chandler, you are not gonna die alone. 276 00:18:25,919 --> 00:18:27,819 Janice was my safety net, okay? 277 00:18:28,054 --> 00:18:29,681 And now I have to get a snake. 278 00:18:32,058 --> 00:18:32,854 Why is that? 279 00:18:33,093 --> 00:18:36,494 If I'm gonna be an old, lonely man, I'm gonna need a thing. 280 00:18:36,730 --> 00:18:38,357 You know, a hook. 281 00:18:38,565 --> 00:18:41,591 Like that guy on the subway who eats his own face. 282 00:18:42,269 --> 00:18:44,328 So I figure I'll be "Crazy Man With A Snake." 283 00:18:44,571 --> 00:18:45,833 Crazy Snake Man. 284 00:18:46,072 --> 00:18:48,063 Then I'll get more snakes, call them my babies. 285 00:18:48,341 --> 00:18:50,434 Kids will run past my place! 286 00:18:50,744 --> 00:18:53,872 "Run away from Crazy Snake Man," they'll shout! 287 00:18:57,417 --> 00:18:59,908 You've got to get over this. 288 00:19:00,387 --> 00:19:01,752 You won't end up alone. 289 00:19:02,022 --> 00:19:03,546 Of course I will. 290 00:19:03,790 --> 00:19:07,556 I reject anyone who's crazy enough to actually go out with me... 291 00:19:07,761 --> 00:19:11,424 ...and then I bitch that there aren't any great women out there. 292 00:19:14,100 --> 00:19:15,397 You have just described... 293 00:19:15,602 --> 00:19:19,231 ...virtually every man that we've ever gone out with. 294 00:19:21,207 --> 00:19:23,300 You are not a freak. You're a guy. 295 00:19:24,978 --> 00:19:26,240 She's right. 296 00:19:53,446 --> 00:19:55,141 You're no different than the rest. 297 00:19:55,415 --> 00:19:57,576 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Yes, he is. 298 00:19:57,784 --> 00:19:59,581 You are totally different. 299 00:19:59,819 --> 00:20:00,808 In a bad way? 300 00:20:01,087 --> 00:20:02,816 No, honey, in a wonderful way. 301 00:20:03,089 --> 00:20:04,818 You know what you want now. 302 00:20:05,058 --> 00:20:06,582 Most guys don't even have a clue. 303 00:20:06,826 --> 00:20:10,626 You're ready to take risks, be vulnerable and intimate with someone. 304 00:20:10,897 --> 00:20:12,421 You're not gonna end up alone. 305 00:20:13,666 --> 00:20:18,797 You called Janice. That's how much you wanted to be with someone! 306 00:20:20,573 --> 00:20:22,473 -You've made it! -You're there! 307 00:20:22,675 --> 00:20:25,109 You are ready to make a commitment! 308 00:20:25,345 --> 00:20:27,609 Don't know about that! 309 00:20:34,988 --> 00:20:36,080 What you got there? 310 00:20:36,289 --> 00:20:39,452 Something else that's not yours that you can break? 311 00:20:42,362 --> 00:20:45,354 I know you like this and I want you to have it. 312 00:20:45,598 --> 00:20:47,589 It'll look good in our apartment. 313 00:20:48,768 --> 00:20:50,599 Thank you. 314 00:20:56,676 --> 00:20:58,303 That's fine. 315 00:21:00,780 --> 00:21:04,341 You'll all be pleased to know that I have a date tomorrow night. 316 00:21:05,118 --> 00:21:06,949 This woman Allison from work. She is great. 317 00:21:07,220 --> 00:21:10,348 She's pretty, she's smart. And I've been... 318 00:21:10,623 --> 00:21:13,888 ... holding off asking her out in the past, because she has a... 319 00:21:14,994 --> 00:21:16,518 ... unusually large head. 320 00:21:18,031 --> 00:21:21,194 But I'm not going to let that stuff hang me up anymore. 321 00:21:21,801 --> 00:21:23,200 Look at me. I'm growing. 322 00:21:25,004 --> 00:21:27,666 You can't recycle yearbooks, can you? 323 00:21:28,508 --> 00:21:29,668 I'll take that. 324 00:21:29,909 --> 00:21:31,035 You want his yearbook? 325 00:21:32,045 --> 00:21:35,640 Some people said nice things about him. Somebody should have it. 326 00:21:35,882 --> 00:21:38,316 Gosh, this is so weird. 327 00:21:38,651 --> 00:21:41,882 His whole life was in this apartment and now it's gone. 328 00:21:43,156 --> 00:21:47,490 I think it would be nice if we just took a few moments for Mr. Heckles. 329 00:21:48,594 --> 00:21:52,428 He was kind of a pain. He was, but he was a person. 330 00:21:59,272 --> 00:22:00,899 You're all going to hell. 331 00:22:01,174 --> 00:22:03,335 It's really not that big! 332 00:22:06,512 --> 00:22:08,776 -Taking that with you, huh? -Oh, yeah. 333 00:22:15,721 --> 00:22:16,551 You coming? 334 00:22:17,190 --> 00:22:18,282 In a second. 335 00:22:34,474 --> 00:22:36,465 Goodbye, Mr. Heckles. 336 00:22:39,779 --> 00:22:41,940 We'll try to keep it down. 337 00:22:52,125 --> 00:22:53,717 My major was useless. 338 00:22:53,926 --> 00:22:58,022 How often do you look in the classifieds and see "Philosopher Wanted"? 339 00:22:58,231 --> 00:22:59,721 Sure. 340 00:22:59,932 --> 00:23:02,162 My God, that's a big head! 341 00:23:04,070 --> 00:23:07,904 It didn't look this big in the office. Maybe it's the lighting. 342 00:23:08,107 --> 00:23:11,338 My head must look like a golf ball at work. 343 00:23:12,445 --> 00:23:16,176 Don't get hung up on it. Quick! List five things you like about her. 344 00:23:16,482 --> 00:23:18,416 Nice smile, good dresser. 345 00:23:18,618 --> 00:23:21,143 Big head, big head, big head!