Friends Season 1 Episode 6

Subtitles
​1 00:00:05,505 --> 00:00:07,803 Oh, look! There's Joey's picture! 2 00:00:08,008 --> 00:00:09,270 This is so exciting! 3 00:00:09,542 --> 00:00:12,568 You can spot someone who's never seen his plays. 4 00:00:12,779 --> 00:00:16,237 Notice, no fear. No sense of impending doom. 5 00:00:17,050 --> 00:00:22,147 "The role of man number three will not be played by Vic Shapiro. " 6 00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:24,653 We came on the wrong night. 7 00:00:26,126 --> 00:00:28,492 I can't believe I forgot a magazine. 8 00:00:28,695 --> 00:00:31,687 -Come on, this might be good. -I don't know. 9 00:00:31,898 --> 00:00:36,733 The exclamation point scares me. It's not just Freud, it's Freud! 10 00:00:37,904 --> 00:00:39,769 Magic is about to happen! 11 00:00:40,840 --> 00:00:42,364 Well, Eva... 12 00:00:43,143 --> 00:00:46,237 ...we've done some excellent work here. 13 00:00:47,514 --> 00:00:49,243 And I would have to say... 14 00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:53,514 ...your problem is quite clear. 15 00:00:55,355 --> 00:00:58,586 All you want is a dinkle 16 00:00:58,958 --> 00:01:01,825 What you envy's a schwang 17 00:01:02,028 --> 00:01:05,429 A thing through which you can tinkle 18 00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:08,260 To play with or simply let hang 19 00:01:23,016 --> 00:01:25,246 The One With the Butt 20 00:02:22,909 --> 00:02:24,877 I feel violated. 21 00:02:25,578 --> 00:02:28,911 Did anybody else feel like peeling their skin off... 22 00:02:29,115 --> 00:02:31,583 ...to have something else to do? 23 00:02:31,784 --> 00:02:32,773 Ross, 1 0:00. 24 00:02:33,019 --> 00:02:34,748 Is it? It feels like 2. 25 00:02:36,089 --> 00:02:39,650 -No, 1 0:00! -What? 26 00:02:39,859 --> 00:02:44,159 There's a beautiful woman at 8, 9, 1 0:00! 27 00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:47,093 Hello! 28 00:02:47,367 --> 00:02:52,964 She's amazing! She makes the women l dream about look like fat, bald men. 29 00:02:53,173 --> 00:02:55,073 Go over. She's not with anyone. 30 00:02:55,275 --> 00:02:58,733 And what would my opening line be? Excuse me.... 31 00:03:01,314 --> 00:03:03,714 Come on, she's a person. You can do it. 32 00:03:03,917 --> 00:03:06,886 Could she be more out of my league? Back me up. 33 00:03:07,120 --> 00:03:10,612 He couldn't get a woman like that in a million years. 34 00:03:12,091 --> 00:03:15,891 You always see these beautiful women with "nothing" guys. 35 00:03:16,129 --> 00:03:18,654 You could be one of those guys. 36 00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,966 -You could do that. -You think? 37 00:03:21,234 --> 00:03:22,531 Absolutely! 38 00:03:22,735 --> 00:03:25,067 I can't believe I'm considering this. 39 00:03:25,271 --> 00:03:27,796 -l' m very aware of my tongue. -Come on. 40 00:03:28,074 --> 00:03:29,837 Here goes. 41 00:03:30,043 --> 00:03:33,206 Stand back, everyone. Incoming ego shrapnel. 42 00:03:33,413 --> 00:03:35,904 All right, I can do this. 43 00:03:39,552 --> 00:03:41,782 -Yes? -Hi. 44 00:03:43,323 --> 00:03:45,314 Okay, next word would be... 45 00:03:45,592 --> 00:03:46,581 ... Chandler. 46 00:03:47,794 --> 00:03:50,422 Chandler is my name and.... 47 00:03:50,964 --> 00:03:52,727 Hi! 48 00:03:54,033 --> 00:03:55,466 Yes, you said that. 49 00:03:55,702 --> 00:03:58,671 Yes! Yes, I did. But what I didn't say.... 50 00:03:58,938 --> 00:04:00,963 What I wanted to say was... 51 00:04:01,174 --> 00:04:04,905 ...would you like to go out with me? Thank you. Good night. 52 00:04:05,111 --> 00:04:06,305 Chandler? 53 00:04:09,882 --> 00:04:13,147 -I didn't know you could dance! -You were in a play! 54 00:04:13,353 --> 00:04:15,253 What'd you think? 55 00:04:15,622 --> 00:04:18,887 -I didn't know you could dance! -You were in a play! 56 00:04:19,125 --> 00:04:21,685 It wasn't that bad. I was the lead. 57 00:04:21,894 --> 00:04:26,160 It was better than the troll thing. At least you got to see my head. 58 00:04:26,366 --> 00:04:28,527 -You're right. -We saw your head. 59 00:04:29,068 --> 00:04:31,002 How about that accent? 60 00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:35,971 Yeah. All of your W's were V's. 61 00:04:37,510 --> 00:04:38,909 She said yes! 62 00:04:40,346 --> 00:04:44,214 Awful play, man! 63 00:04:44,417 --> 00:04:48,911 Her name's Aurora. She's ltalian and she pronounces my name " Chandler. " 64 00:04:50,857 --> 00:04:52,188 I like that better. 65 00:04:52,392 --> 00:04:54,121 The usher gave me this. 66 00:04:54,427 --> 00:04:57,521 -What is it? -The Estelle Leonard T alent Agency. 67 00:04:57,730 --> 00:05:00,460 An agency left its card. They wanna sign me! 68 00:05:00,667 --> 00:05:02,225 Based on this play? 69 00:05:04,337 --> 00:05:06,430 Based on this play! 70 00:05:06,639 --> 00:05:08,800 Look! There's a note on the back. 71 00:05:09,008 --> 00:05:12,569 "Loved your work. Call me a sap. " 72 00:05:14,480 --> 00:05:16,948 She was obviously very moved! 73 00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:19,641 You should call her fairly quickly. 74 00:05:19,852 --> 00:05:22,412 Yeah! As soon as possible! 75 00:05:25,591 --> 00:05:27,149 Come in! 76 00:05:28,361 --> 00:05:30,761 Hi. I'm here to see Estelle Leonard. 77 00:05:30,963 --> 00:05:34,421 Just a moment, let me see if she's in. 78 00:05:35,401 --> 00:05:37,266 Hello. 79 00:05:38,805 --> 00:05:40,670 -You' re Estelle? -I know... 80 00:05:40,873 --> 00:05:45,333 ...you weren't expecting someone so fantastically beautiful. 81 00:05:47,647 --> 00:05:52,744 Love lump. T ake a load off already, darling. Sit already. 82 00:05:53,052 --> 00:05:56,283 I can't tell you how excited I am to be here. 83 00:05:56,489 --> 00:05:58,389 Why not? 84 00:05:59,492 --> 00:06:03,758 -What I meant was -You don't mind if I eat, do you? 85 00:06:09,001 --> 00:06:09,990 Joey... 86 00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:13,400 ...sweetheart, let me ask you a question. 87 00:06:13,606 --> 00:06:17,269 Did you ever see the movie Sleepless in Seattle? 88 00:06:17,477 --> 00:06:20,776 -Wow! Do you represent those actors? -No. 89 00:06:21,247 --> 00:06:24,683 But you know the end, where they' re happy? 90 00:06:24,884 --> 00:06:27,512 That's gonna be you and me. 91 00:06:28,454 --> 00:06:30,354 You mean you wanna sign me? 92 00:06:30,556 --> 00:06:35,892 No, I wanna go to the top of the Empire State Building and make out. 93 00:06:36,763 --> 00:06:38,822 Of course I wanna sign you! 94 00:06:39,599 --> 00:06:42,033 -Miss Leonard, I'm so -Oh, boy. 95 00:06:42,235 --> 00:06:45,068 -Ride them, cowboy. -l' m sorry! 96 00:06:55,181 --> 00:06:58,309 I don't see it! 97 00:06:59,886 --> 00:07:03,049 -T ry to look through it. -Unfocus your eyes. 98 00:07:03,256 --> 00:07:05,816 Focus? There's nothing to focus on. 99 00:07:06,492 --> 00:07:09,950 -It's the Statue of Liberty! -Right! 100 00:07:10,163 --> 00:07:13,030 -Where's the Statue of Liberty? -There. 101 00:07:13,232 --> 00:07:14,995 I can't not see it now. 102 00:07:17,003 --> 00:07:18,027 Hey, kids! 103 00:07:18,237 --> 00:07:20,603 Come here. Do you see anything here? 104 00:07:20,807 --> 00:07:24,208 -lt looks like a boat. -A boat. 105 00:07:24,410 --> 00:07:27,277 Right in front of the Statue of Liberty. 106 00:07:29,148 --> 00:07:33,676 It's been seven seconds, and you haven't asked me how my date went. 107 00:07:33,886 --> 00:07:36,150 How was your date, Chandler? 108 00:07:36,355 --> 00:07:37,652 It was unbelievable! 109 00:07:37,857 --> 00:07:41,486 I've never met anyone like her. She's had an amazing life! 110 00:07:41,694 --> 00:07:43,525 She was in the Israeli army. 111 00:07:43,729 --> 00:07:48,257 None of the bullets hit the engine, so we made it to the border. 112 00:07:48,468 --> 00:07:51,028 But just barely, and l.... 113 00:07:51,237 --> 00:07:55,298 I've been talking about myself all night long. I'm sorry. 114 00:07:55,508 --> 00:07:57,703 What about you? T ell me a story. 115 00:07:58,478 --> 00:08:00,673 All right, once... 116 00:08:00,880 --> 00:08:02,677 ... I got on the subway. 117 00:08:02,882 --> 00:08:04,679 And it was at night... 118 00:08:04,884 --> 00:08:08,012 ...and I rode it all the way to Brooklyn. 119 00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,519 Just for the hell of it. 120 00:08:11,023 --> 00:08:13,651 We talked until 2:00. It was perfect. 121 00:08:14,694 --> 00:08:15,718 More or less. 122 00:08:15,995 --> 00:08:18,395 Suddenly, we realized we were in Yemen. 123 00:08:18,798 --> 00:08:20,390 I' m sorry, so "we" is...? 124 00:08:21,167 --> 00:08:22,498 "We" is me and Rick. 125 00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:23,691 Who's Rick? 126 00:08:23,903 --> 00:08:25,200 Who's Rick? 127 00:08:26,405 --> 00:08:27,429 My husband. 128 00:08:30,142 --> 00:08:33,270 -Oh, so you' re divorced? -No. 129 00:08:33,479 --> 00:08:37,609 I' m sorry. So you' re widowed? Hopefully? 130 00:08:37,817 --> 00:08:40,285 No, l' m still married. 131 00:08:40,953 --> 00:08:45,583 So, how would your husband feel about you sitting here with me... 132 00:08:45,791 --> 00:08:51,093 ...sliding your foot so far up my leg you can count the change in my pocket? 133 00:08:52,231 --> 00:08:53,630 Don't worry. 134 00:08:53,833 --> 00:08:57,530 He'd be okay with you because he's okay with Ethan. 135 00:08:58,404 --> 00:09:00,804 Ethan? There's an Ethan? 136 00:09:01,941 --> 00:09:05,377 Ethan is my boyfriend. 137 00:09:05,578 --> 00:09:06,738 What? 138 00:09:08,814 --> 00:09:12,181 What kind of relationship do you imagine us having... 139 00:09:12,385 --> 00:09:15,354 ...if you have a husband and a boyfriend? 140 00:09:15,555 --> 00:09:18,683 I suppose, mainly sexual. 141 00:09:21,627 --> 00:09:23,254 Sorry it didn't work out. 142 00:09:23,496 --> 00:09:26,761 What, not work out? I'm seeing her again on Thursday. 143 00:09:26,966 --> 00:09:29,594 Didn't you listen to the story? 144 00:09:30,870 --> 00:09:33,304 Didn't you listen? It's twisted! 145 00:09:33,506 --> 00:09:35,736 How could you get involved with her? 146 00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:39,844 I had trouble with it at first. But I get the good stuff. 147 00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:43,015 All the fun, all the talking, all the sex... 148 00:09:43,215 --> 00:09:46,048 ...and none of the responsibility. 149 00:09:46,485 --> 00:09:49,648 -This is every guy's fantasy! -That's not true! 150 00:09:49,855 --> 00:09:53,586 -Ross, is this your fantasy? -No, of course not. 151 00:09:55,328 --> 00:09:57,125 Yeah. Yeah, it is. 152 00:09:57,997 --> 00:10:01,558 You'd go out with someone going out with someone else? 153 00:10:02,034 --> 00:10:04,059 -I couldn't. -Good for you. 154 00:10:04,303 --> 00:10:06,794 When l' m with a woman, I need to know... 155 00:10:07,006 --> 00:10:09,941 ... I' m going out with more people than her. 156 00:10:10,443 --> 00:10:13,879 Once, I went out with a guy who just got divorced. 157 00:10:14,080 --> 00:10:17,447 It was hard. His kids liked me better than him. 158 00:10:17,650 --> 00:10:20,312 What does this have to do with Chandler? 159 00:10:21,187 --> 00:10:22,984 Nothing. 160 00:10:23,322 --> 00:10:25,984 I didn't have anything on that topic. 161 00:10:26,192 --> 00:10:28,319 So I went another way. 162 00:10:29,295 --> 00:10:33,231 You know, monogamy can be a tricky concept. 163 00:10:33,432 --> 00:10:36,367 I mean, anthropologically speaking 164 00:10:37,737 --> 00:10:39,864 Fine. Now you'll never know. 165 00:10:40,072 --> 00:10:41,699 We' re kidding. T ell us. 166 00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,499 -We wanna know. -Come on! 167 00:10:43,709 --> 00:10:47,543 All right. There's a theory put forth by Richard Leakey 168 00:10:58,658 --> 00:11:01,855 Are we greeting each other this way now? I like it. 169 00:11:03,496 --> 00:11:05,157 Look! I cleaned! 170 00:11:05,364 --> 00:11:07,628 I did the windows. I did the floors. 171 00:11:07,867 --> 00:11:12,827 I used all the vacuum attachments but the round one. What's it for? 172 00:11:13,039 --> 00:11:16,236 Nobody knows. And we're not supposed to ask. 173 00:11:16,442 --> 00:11:17,568 What do you think? 174 00:11:17,810 --> 00:11:21,268 -It's very clean. -Really, it looks great! 175 00:11:25,117 --> 00:11:27,711 I see you moved the green ottoman. 176 00:11:31,524 --> 00:11:33,082 How did that happen? 177 00:11:34,493 --> 00:11:37,053 I don't know. It looked better there. 178 00:11:37,863 --> 00:11:40,627 And it's an extra seat around the table. 179 00:11:41,167 --> 00:11:42,930 Yeah, it's interesting. 180 00:11:44,603 --> 00:11:46,867 But you know what? Just for fun... 181 00:11:47,206 --> 00:11:50,698 ...Iet's see what it looked like in the old spot. 182 00:11:51,510 --> 00:11:53,171 Just to compare. 183 00:11:53,379 --> 00:11:54,676 Let's see. 184 00:11:55,114 --> 00:11:57,014 Well, it looks good there too. 185 00:11:57,416 --> 00:11:59,543 Let's leave it there for a while. 186 00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:03,920 I can't believe you moved the green ottoman. 187 00:12:04,523 --> 00:12:08,960 Be glad you didn't fan the magazines. She'll scratch your eyes out. 188 00:12:09,161 --> 00:12:12,392 -You guys, I am not that bad! -Yeah, you are. 189 00:12:13,799 --> 00:12:17,291 Remember, I lived with you? You were a little.... 190 00:12:21,474 --> 00:12:22,771 That is so unfair! 191 00:12:22,975 --> 00:12:28,003 When we were kids, yours was the only Raggedy Ann doll that wasn't raggedy. 192 00:12:29,482 --> 00:12:32,110 Okay, so I'm responsible. I'm organized. 193 00:12:32,351 --> 00:12:34,342 But hey, I can be a kook! 194 00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,648 All right, you madcap gal! 195 00:12:40,426 --> 00:12:41,518 Imagine this. 196 00:12:41,794 --> 00:12:45,730 The phone bill arrives, but you don't pay it right away. 197 00:12:45,931 --> 00:12:48,456 -Why not? -Because you're a kook! 198 00:12:50,569 --> 00:12:53,367 You wait until they send a notice. 199 00:12:54,106 --> 00:12:55,471 I could do that. 200 00:12:55,674 --> 00:12:59,701 Okay, then you let me go grocery shopping 201 00:12:59,912 --> 00:13:03,177 -No problem. -I'm not done yet. 202 00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:08,619 And I buy detergent, but it's not the one with the easy-pour spout. 203 00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:11,449 Why would someone do that? 204 00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:15,059 One might wonder. 205 00:13:15,861 --> 00:13:19,126 But I would be fine with that. 206 00:13:19,331 --> 00:13:24,030 A glass is on the table with no coaster. A cold drink. A hot day. 207 00:13:24,703 --> 00:13:29,037 Beads of condensation are inching closer to the wood.... 208 00:13:29,241 --> 00:13:30,333 Stop it! 209 00:13:34,079 --> 00:13:35,341 Oh, my God! 210 00:13:35,781 --> 00:13:37,715 It's true. Who am l? 211 00:13:38,250 --> 00:13:40,241 Monica, you' re Mom. 212 00:13:48,627 --> 00:13:49,685 Oh, my God! 213 00:13:52,364 --> 00:13:54,093 Okay, I'll be there. 214 00:13:56,435 --> 00:13:58,027 That was my agent. 215 00:13:59,972 --> 00:14:05,933 My agent has just gotten me a job in the new Al Pacino movie! 216 00:14:06,145 --> 00:14:08,909 -That's great! -What's the part? 217 00:14:09,114 --> 00:14:13,244 Can you believe it? Pacino! This guy's why I became an actor! 218 00:14:13,452 --> 00:14:19,220 " Out of order? You' re out of order! This whole courtroom's out of order! " 219 00:14:19,825 --> 00:14:21,588 Seriously, what's the part? 220 00:14:21,794 --> 00:14:25,491 "Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in! " 221 00:14:25,764 --> 00:14:28,824 Come on. Seriously, Joey, what's the part? 222 00:14:30,769 --> 00:14:32,361 You' re.... What? 223 00:14:34,940 --> 00:14:38,171 I' m his butt double, okay? 224 00:14:41,747 --> 00:14:44,375 I play Al Pacino's butt. 225 00:14:46,552 --> 00:14:49,783 All right? He goes into the shower, and then... 226 00:14:50,089 --> 00:14:52,080 ... I' m his butt. 227 00:14:52,458 --> 00:14:53,618 Oh, my God! 228 00:14:53,926 --> 00:14:55,086 Come on, you guys. 229 00:14:55,361 --> 00:14:58,626 It's a real Pacino movie and that's big! 230 00:14:58,898 --> 00:15:01,492 It's terrific. You deserve this. 231 00:15:01,700 --> 00:15:06,535 After years of struggling you've cracked your way into show business. 232 00:15:09,308 --> 00:15:11,640 Fine. Make jokes, I don't care. 233 00:15:11,844 --> 00:15:15,336 -This is a big break for me! -You' re right. It is. 234 00:15:16,482 --> 00:15:19,508 So, will you invite us to the big opening? 235 00:15:29,328 --> 00:15:32,263 -I need some moisturizer. -For what? 236 00:15:32,464 --> 00:15:34,489 T oday's the big day! 237 00:15:37,169 --> 00:15:40,400 You got any tweezers? I think I have a rogue hair. 238 00:15:41,040 --> 00:15:43,975 God. Go in the bathroom. Use whatever you want. 239 00:15:44,176 --> 00:15:47,009 Don't ever tell me what you did in there. 240 00:15:47,212 --> 00:15:48,907 Thank you. 241 00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,481 -Joey's mom's on the phone. -ln the bathroom. 242 00:15:53,686 --> 00:15:57,247 -You don't wanna go in there! -Come on, we' re roommates. 243 00:15:58,557 --> 00:16:01,048 My eyes! My eyes! 244 00:16:03,629 --> 00:16:05,256 I warned you. 245 00:16:05,464 --> 00:16:07,159 Who is being loud? 246 00:16:07,366 --> 00:16:09,129 Oh, that would be Monica. 247 00:16:09,902 --> 00:16:13,030 Can I borrow stuff? I wanna make Aurora breakfast. 248 00:16:13,238 --> 00:16:15,035 You got the whole night? 249 00:16:15,240 --> 00:16:18,232 Well, I only have 20 minutes until Ethan, so.... 250 00:16:18,444 --> 00:16:20,344 Do I sense resentment? 251 00:16:20,612 --> 00:16:23,672 No. No resentment. Believe me... 252 00:16:23,949 --> 00:16:26,008 ...it's worth it, okay? 253 00:16:26,285 --> 00:16:31,052 In a relationship, you have moments you'll remember the rest of your life. 254 00:16:31,323 --> 00:16:34,554 Every single second is like that with Aurora. 255 00:16:34,760 --> 00:16:37,422 I've just wasted 35 of them talking to you. 256 00:16:37,629 --> 00:16:40,757 So, Monica, can you help me with the door? 257 00:16:42,067 --> 00:16:44,661 The old Monica would remind you... 258 00:16:44,870 --> 00:16:48,897 ...to scrub that T eflon pan with a plastic brush. 259 00:16:49,875 --> 00:16:52,309 But l' m not gonna do that. 260 00:16:58,484 --> 00:17:03,353 Excuse me? Can they warm it up? I' m concerned about goose bumps. 261 00:17:03,555 --> 00:17:04,749 Everybody ready? 262 00:17:06,191 --> 00:17:09,126 I wanna thank you for this opportunity. 263 00:17:09,328 --> 00:17:14,561 I mean, I know this is just a first step, but I hope that someday 264 00:17:14,767 --> 00:17:15,825 Lose the robe. 265 00:17:16,201 --> 00:17:19,762 Right. Okay. Losing the robe! 266 00:17:20,606 --> 00:17:22,631 Okay, and the robe is lost. 267 00:17:23,342 --> 00:17:26,106 I would like to get this in one take. 268 00:17:26,345 --> 00:17:27,676 Let's roll it. 269 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,939 Water's working. 270 00:17:30,149 --> 00:17:32,845 And action! 271 00:17:33,952 --> 00:17:35,476 And cut! 272 00:17:36,188 --> 00:17:38,782 Butt guy, what are you doing? 273 00:17:39,124 --> 00:17:40,489 I'm showering. 274 00:17:40,859 --> 00:17:42,986 No, that was clenching. 275 00:17:43,195 --> 00:17:46,892 The way I see it, the guy's upset here, you know? 276 00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:49,499 His wife's dead, his brother's missing. 277 00:17:49,701 --> 00:17:52,534 I think his butt would be angry here. 278 00:17:53,138 --> 00:17:56,801 I think his butt would like to get the shot before lunch. 279 00:17:57,009 --> 00:17:59,910 Once again, rolling. Water working. 280 00:18:00,879 --> 00:18:02,813 And action! 281 00:18:04,149 --> 00:18:06,743 And cut! What was that? 282 00:18:07,886 --> 00:18:11,253 I was going for quiet desperation. 283 00:18:11,790 --> 00:18:14,850 But if you have to ask.... 284 00:18:21,166 --> 00:18:23,031 God, I love these fingers. 285 00:18:23,268 --> 00:18:24,428 Thank you. 286 00:18:24,670 --> 00:18:27,764 No, actually, I meant my fingers. 287 00:18:28,340 --> 00:18:31,309 Look at them. Look at how happy they are. 288 00:18:32,711 --> 00:18:35,703 -Oh, my God, l' m late! -Oh, no! 289 00:18:35,981 --> 00:18:38,882 -Don't go. -Okay. 290 00:18:39,852 --> 00:18:42,013 -I have to. -Look, she's leaving. 291 00:18:42,621 --> 00:18:45,112 I' m sorry. He'll be waiting for me. 292 00:18:45,324 --> 00:18:49,055 -I thought you talked to Rick. -It's not Rick. 293 00:18:49,294 --> 00:18:51,626 Ethan? He gets the whole day! 294 00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:54,594 No, it's Andrew. 295 00:18:58,904 --> 00:19:00,769 I know there'll be moments... 296 00:19:00,973 --> 00:19:04,602 ...when I'll regret asking the following question, but.... 297 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,835 -And Andrew is? -He's... 298 00:19:08,113 --> 00:19:09,876 ... new. 299 00:19:10,315 --> 00:19:14,775 So you' re not completely fulfilled by Rick, Ethan and myself? 300 00:19:14,987 --> 00:19:17,455 No, that's not exactly what I was 301 00:19:17,656 --> 00:19:19,385 Most women would kill... 302 00:19:19,591 --> 00:19:21,752 ...for three guys like us. 303 00:19:23,095 --> 00:19:26,292 -So, what do you want? -You. 304 00:19:26,498 --> 00:19:29,160 -You have me. -No. Just you. 305 00:19:29,701 --> 00:19:33,159 -What do you mean? -Lose the other guys. 306 00:19:33,705 --> 00:19:36,765 Like, all of them? 307 00:19:37,309 --> 00:19:40,244 Come on, we' re great together. Why not? 308 00:19:40,445 --> 00:19:42,504 Can't we have what we have now? 309 00:19:42,714 --> 00:19:45,148 Why can't we talk and make love... 310 00:19:45,350 --> 00:19:48,217 ...without feeling obligated to each other? 311 00:19:48,520 --> 00:19:52,456 Up until tonight, I thought that's what you wanted too. 312 00:19:53,125 --> 00:19:56,822 Well, part of me wants that... 313 00:19:57,029 --> 00:20:01,830 ... but it's like l' m two guys. One guy's saying, "This is great! " 314 00:20:02,034 --> 00:20:03,899 But there's this other guy. 315 00:20:04,102 --> 00:20:07,503 The guy who wells up when the Grinch's heart grows... 316 00:20:07,706 --> 00:20:10,266 ...and breaks that measuring device. 317 00:20:10,509 --> 00:20:15,412 He's saying, you know, "This is too hard. Get out! " 318 00:20:15,614 --> 00:20:18,640 So, which one of the guys will you listen to? 319 00:20:19,518 --> 00:20:24,512 I have to listen to both. They don't let each other finish. 320 00:20:24,990 --> 00:20:27,390 Which one? 321 00:20:29,895 --> 00:20:32,295 The second guy. 322 00:20:32,598 --> 00:20:34,589 I see. 323 00:20:38,503 --> 00:20:41,438 Call me if you change your mind. 324 00:20:49,414 --> 00:20:53,612 Sorry, the first guy runs the lips. 325 00:21:05,731 --> 00:21:08,632 Look at it this way. You dumped her! 326 00:21:09,801 --> 00:21:14,135 Right? I mean, this woman was unbelievably sexy... 327 00:21:14,339 --> 00:21:18,537 ...and beautiful, intelligent, unattainable. 328 00:21:19,611 --> 00:21:22,079 T ell me why you did this again? 329 00:21:24,316 --> 00:21:25,749 Movie star! 330 00:21:25,951 --> 00:21:30,786 Wait! Aren't you the guy who plays the butt in the new Pacino movie? 331 00:21:31,657 --> 00:21:32,817 Nope. 332 00:21:33,025 --> 00:21:35,721 No? What happened, big guy? 333 00:21:35,927 --> 00:21:37,827 Big guy? 334 00:21:39,231 --> 00:21:42,132 It felt like a "big guy" moment. 335 00:21:42,734 --> 00:21:44,725 I got fired! 336 00:21:44,936 --> 00:21:48,133 They said I acted too much with it. 337 00:21:49,408 --> 00:21:51,535 I told everybody about this! 338 00:21:51,743 --> 00:21:54,541 -Everybody's expecting to see me. -lKnow what? 339 00:21:54,746 --> 00:21:58,443 -No one will be able to tell. -My mom will. 340 00:22:00,385 --> 00:22:04,446 There's something so sweet and disturbing about that. 341 00:22:05,724 --> 00:22:08,659 I've done crappy plays for six years... 342 00:22:08,894 --> 00:22:12,330 ...and I finally get my shot, and I blow it! 343 00:22:12,531 --> 00:22:14,294 Maybe this wasn't it. 344 00:22:14,499 --> 00:22:19,368 I think when it's your shot, you know it's your shot. 345 00:22:19,571 --> 00:22:22,597 Did it feel like your shot? 346 00:22:23,408 --> 00:22:26,138 Hard to tell. I was naked. 347 00:22:26,345 --> 00:22:30,406 I don't think this was it. I don't think you just get one. 348 00:22:30,615 --> 00:22:34,016 I believe things are gonna happen for you. I do. 349 00:22:34,219 --> 00:22:38,121 You've got to think about the day some kid will go: 350 00:22:38,323 --> 00:22:43,192 "l got the part! I'm gonna be Joey T ribbiani's ass! " 351 00:22:45,330 --> 00:22:48,390 You think? That's so nice. 352 00:22:53,972 --> 00:22:56,941 I' m sorry, Joey. I' m gonna go to bed, guys. 353 00:22:57,142 --> 00:22:59,406 -Good night. -Good night. 354 00:22:59,611 --> 00:23:02,205 You' re gonna leave your shoes out here? 355 00:23:05,951 --> 00:23:08,852 Really? Just casually strewn about... 356 00:23:09,054 --> 00:23:12,922 ...in that reckless, haphazard manner? 357 00:23:13,258 --> 00:23:17,786 It doesn't matter. I'll get them tomorrow. Or not! 358 00:23:18,730 --> 00:23:21,164 Whenever. 359 00:23:22,901 --> 00:23:26,166 She is a kook. 360 00:23:37,949 --> 00:23:42,613 If it bothers you that much, just go out and get the shoes. 361 00:23:43,522 --> 00:23:46,116 No, don 't do this! 362 00:23:46,324 --> 00:23:47,791 This is stupid! 363 00:23:47,993 --> 00:23:51,656 I don 't have to prove anything. I'm gonna get them. 364 00:23:51,930 --> 00:23:54,763 But then everyone will know. 365 00:23:55,233 --> 00:23:59,670 Unless I get them, then wake up really early and put them back. 366 00:23:59,871 --> 00:24:02,237 I need help! 367 00:24:05,610 --> 00:24:09,671 -All you want is a dinkle -Not that song! 368 00:24:09,881 --> 00:24:13,874 -All you envy's a schwang -Come on, you guys. 369 00:24:14,085 --> 00:24:17,816 A thing through which you can tinkle 370 00:24:18,023 --> 00:24:20,958 Or play with or simply let hang 371 00:24:22,060 --> 00:24:25,860 All you want is a dinkle 372 00:24:26,064 --> 00:24:29,397 What you envy's a schwang 373 00:24:29,601 --> 00:24:33,128 A thing through which you can tinkle 374 00:24:33,338 --> 00:24:37,741 Or play with or simply let hang