Friends Season 1 Episode 5

Subtitles
​1 00:00:01,568 --> 00:00:03,900 Let it go. It's not a big deal. 2 00:00:04,104 --> 00:00:09,041 Not a big deal? It's amazing. You reach in, there's one maneuver and bam! 3 00:00:09,242 --> 00:00:11,403 A bra. Right out the sleeve. 4 00:00:11,878 --> 00:00:16,645 As far as I know, guys don't do anything that comes close. Right? 5 00:00:16,850 --> 00:00:19,876 Come on! You guys can pee standing up. 6 00:00:20,153 --> 00:00:22,644 We can? Okay, I'm trying that. 7 00:00:24,057 --> 00:00:25,718 Know what blows my mind? 8 00:00:25,925 --> 00:00:29,122 Women can see breasts anytime they want. 9 00:00:31,264 --> 00:00:33,562 You look down, and there they are. 10 00:00:33,767 --> 00:00:36,702 How you get any work done is beyond me. 11 00:00:37,704 --> 00:00:41,299 I don't get how guys can do so many mean things... 12 00:00:41,508 --> 00:00:43,908 ...and not even care. 13 00:00:49,682 --> 00:00:52,776 -Multiple orgasms! -There you go. 14 00:00:57,490 --> 00:01:00,015 The One With the East German Laundry Detergent 15 00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:47,437 Saturday night. The big night! 16 00:01:47,640 --> 00:01:51,542 Date night! Saturday night. Saturday night! 17 00:01:52,979 --> 00:01:55,174 -No plans, huh? -Not a one! 18 00:01:56,082 --> 00:01:58,209 Not even breaking up with Janice? 19 00:01:58,384 --> 00:02:01,683 Right, right. Shut up. 20 00:02:02,589 --> 00:02:05,581 Chandler, nobody likes breaking up with someone. 21 00:02:05,792 --> 00:02:09,694 Except for Kevin Millmore, may he rot in hell. 22 00:02:09,929 --> 00:02:13,626 -You just gotta do it. -I know. But it's just so hard. 23 00:02:13,833 --> 00:02:16,768 You're sitting there with her. She has no idea. 24 00:02:16,970 --> 00:02:19,495 You finally get up the courage to do it. 25 00:02:19,706 --> 00:02:24,370 There's that awkward moment when you've handed her the note. 26 00:02:26,179 --> 00:02:30,912 You try to run out of the restaurant before she's finished the note. 27 00:02:31,284 --> 00:02:37,223 Why do you have to break up with her? Be a man. Just stop calling. 28 00:02:38,625 --> 00:02:40,650 If you want, I'll do it with you. 29 00:02:41,027 --> 00:02:44,485 She'd feel like we're ganging up on her. 30 00:02:44,697 --> 00:02:47,393 You dump Janice, I'll dump T ony. 31 00:02:47,700 --> 00:02:52,069 -You're breaking up with T ony? -He's sweet, but it's not fun anymore. 32 00:02:52,305 --> 00:02:56,605 I don't know if it's me or his hunger strike, I don't know. 33 00:02:57,844 --> 00:02:59,471 Do you want anything else? 34 00:02:59,679 --> 00:03:04,207 You had a nutty, chocolate-y, kind of cake-y, pie thing that 35 00:03:05,618 --> 00:03:08,587 Nothing. I' m fine. 36 00:03:09,956 --> 00:03:12,390 What's wrong? Why so scrunchie? 37 00:03:12,592 --> 00:03:16,528 My father wants to give me a Mercedes convertible. 38 00:03:16,729 --> 00:03:19,994 That guy, he burns me up. 39 00:03:20,200 --> 00:03:23,397 Yeah, it's a Mercedes if I move back home. 40 00:03:23,603 --> 00:03:26,504 It was horrible! He called me "young lady. " 41 00:03:26,706 --> 00:03:29,732 I hate when my father calls me that. 42 00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:33,508 Did he say "You' re not up to this" again? 43 00:03:33,713 --> 00:03:36,705 I got the extended version with choruses of... 44 00:03:36,916 --> 00:03:40,181 ... "You'll Never Make it on Your Own. " 45 00:03:43,890 --> 00:03:45,380 Hi, Joey. 46 00:03:46,459 --> 00:03:47,790 Oh, my God! Angela! 47 00:03:47,994 --> 00:03:51,157 Wow! Being dumped by you agrees with her. 48 00:03:51,397 --> 00:03:56,300 -Are you gonna go over there? -No. Yeah. No. 49 00:03:56,803 --> 00:04:00,170 Okay, but not yet. I don't wanna seem too eager. 50 00:04:02,709 --> 00:04:05,542 One Mississippi, two Mississippi... 51 00:04:05,745 --> 00:04:09,181 ...three Mississippi. That seems pretty cool. 52 00:04:12,118 --> 00:04:14,712 -Hey, Angela. -Joey. 53 00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:16,252 You look good. 54 00:04:16,623 --> 00:04:20,992 That's because l' m wearing a dress that accents my boobs. 55 00:04:27,200 --> 00:04:29,532 You don't say. 56 00:04:30,270 --> 00:04:32,966 So, Rachel, what are you doing tonight? 57 00:04:33,172 --> 00:04:37,302 Big glamour night. Me and Monica at Launderama. 58 00:04:38,177 --> 00:04:43,740 You wanna hear a freakish coincidence? Guess who's doing laundry there too? 59 00:04:44,350 --> 00:04:46,341 -Who? -Me! 60 00:04:46,552 --> 00:04:48,520 Was that not clear? 61 00:04:51,791 --> 00:04:53,122 Why don't...? 62 00:04:53,326 --> 00:04:56,454 Why don't I just join you both there? 63 00:04:56,663 --> 00:04:59,791 Don't you have a laundry room in your building? 64 00:05:00,833 --> 00:05:02,926 Yes. 65 00:05:03,136 --> 00:05:06,537 I do have a laundry room in my building. 66 00:05:08,141 --> 00:05:10,302 But there's a rat problem. 67 00:05:10,843 --> 00:05:14,074 Apparently, they're attracted to dryer sheets. 68 00:05:14,314 --> 00:05:19,149 They're going in fine, but they're coming out all fluffy. 69 00:05:21,988 --> 00:05:24,616 -Anyway, 7-ish? -Sure. 70 00:05:27,660 --> 00:05:32,427 -Forget it. I' m with Bob now. -Bob? Who the hell's Bob? 71 00:05:32,632 --> 00:05:37,399 Bob is great. He's smart, sophisticated, and he has a real job. 72 00:05:37,603 --> 00:05:41,403 You go on three auditions a month and you' re an actor. Bob 73 00:05:41,607 --> 00:05:44,838 Come on! We were great together. 74 00:05:45,011 --> 00:05:49,778 And not just at the fun stuff, but, like, talking too. 75 00:05:52,785 --> 00:05:57,279 Sorry, Joey. You said, " Let's be friends. " So guess what? 76 00:05:57,490 --> 00:05:59,617 -What? -We' re just friends. 77 00:06:00,126 --> 00:06:01,525 Fine. Fine. 78 00:06:01,794 --> 00:06:05,594 Why don't the four of us have dinner tonight? As friends. 79 00:06:05,798 --> 00:06:07,129 What "four of us"? 80 00:06:07,367 --> 00:06:11,497 You and Bob, and me and my girlfriend... 81 00:06:12,739 --> 00:06:13,728 ... Monica. 82 00:06:13,940 --> 00:06:16,704 I' m telling you, this guy's perfect for you. 83 00:06:16,909 --> 00:06:20,845 Forget it! Not after your cousin who could belch the alphabet. 84 00:06:21,614 --> 00:06:25,448 Come on, this guy's great. His name's Bob. He's Angela's... 85 00:06:25,718 --> 00:06:29,119 ... brother. He's smart, he's sophisticated... 86 00:06:29,389 --> 00:06:31,118 ...and he has a real job. 87 00:06:31,391 --> 00:06:35,418 I go on three auditions a month and say l' m an actor, but he's 88 00:06:35,628 --> 00:06:37,095 -God help us. -What? 89 00:06:37,296 --> 00:06:39,958 Ugly Naked Guy is laying kitchen tile. 90 00:06:43,669 --> 00:06:46,069 Look, l' m asking a favor here. 91 00:06:46,272 --> 00:06:50,971 If I do this for her brother, maybe Angela will come back to me. 92 00:06:51,144 --> 00:06:54,409 What's going on? You go out with tons of girls. 93 00:06:54,614 --> 00:06:57,742 I know, but Angela's different. 94 00:06:57,950 --> 00:07:03,411 She's like one of a kind, like a snowflake or.... 95 00:07:05,057 --> 00:07:08,458 -Something else like a snowflake? -Yeah, yeah. 96 00:07:08,861 --> 00:07:13,423 Look, I made a huge mistake. I never should've broke up with her. 97 00:07:13,633 --> 00:07:15,931 Will you help me? Please? 98 00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:27,908 Hold on a sec. You need to not touch any of those. 99 00:07:28,548 --> 00:07:29,981 Okay, bye. 100 00:07:30,783 --> 00:07:34,719 Monica's not coming. It's just gonna be me and Rachel. 101 00:07:36,622 --> 00:07:39,682 Hold on, camper. You've thought this through? 102 00:07:39,959 --> 00:07:43,486 It's laundry. The thinking-through is minimal. 103 00:07:44,263 --> 00:07:46,390 Just you and Rachel? Just you two? 104 00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:50,091 This is a date. You're going on a date. 105 00:07:50,703 --> 00:07:56,039 -Uh-uh. -Uh-huh. 106 00:07:56,442 --> 00:08:01,539 -I haven't done that in a while. -ls it a date if she doesn't know? 107 00:08:01,747 --> 00:08:06,480 Yes, absolutely. Saturday night, all rules apply. 108 00:08:06,853 --> 00:08:10,653 What are you saying? I should shave again? Pick up some wine? 109 00:08:10,823 --> 00:08:14,486 Well, you may wanna rethink the dirty underwear. 110 00:08:15,528 --> 00:08:20,124 It's the first time she'll see your underwear. You want it dirty? 111 00:08:23,936 --> 00:08:25,995 No. 112 00:08:26,772 --> 00:08:28,899 And the fabric softener? 113 00:08:29,141 --> 00:08:33,237 Okay, now what is wrong with my Snuggles? 114 00:08:33,546 --> 00:08:37,073 What? It says I'm a sensitive, warm kind of guy. 115 00:08:37,283 --> 00:08:40,411 You know, like a little fuzzy bear. 116 00:08:41,954 --> 00:08:45,151 -I'll pick something else up. -There you go. 117 00:08:49,128 --> 00:08:50,117 Thank you. 118 00:08:50,329 --> 00:08:53,594 What does Bob look like? Is he tall, short? 119 00:08:54,200 --> 00:08:56,191 Yep. 120 00:08:56,802 --> 00:08:59,293 -Which? -Which what? 121 00:09:00,740 --> 00:09:04,176 -You've never met Bob, have you? -No, but 122 00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:08,643 -For all we know, he's horribly -Hey, Joey! 123 00:09:08,881 --> 00:09:12,977 Horribly attractive. I'll be shutting up now. 124 00:09:17,223 --> 00:09:19,453 Where are they? Where are they? 125 00:09:19,725 --> 00:09:23,422 This is nice. We never do anything, just the two of us. 126 00:09:23,629 --> 00:09:28,157 Great. Maybe tomorrow we can rent a car, run over some puppies. 127 00:09:28,367 --> 00:09:30,835 I don't wanna do that. 128 00:09:32,371 --> 00:09:35,067 -Here we go. -Have a good breakup. 129 00:09:36,742 --> 00:09:40,473 -Hey, Janice. -My God, I am so glad you called me. 130 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:44,741 I had the most supremely awful day. 131 00:09:45,151 --> 00:09:47,585 That's not good. 132 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:50,980 Can I get an espresso and a latte over here? 133 00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:55,354 We got the proofs from the shoot with the vegetables. They sucked. 134 00:09:55,561 --> 00:09:58,621 I blew off the afternoon. I went shopping. 135 00:09:58,831 --> 00:10:01,732 And I got you.... 136 00:10:02,001 --> 00:10:04,936 I'm looking. I'm looking. 137 00:10:05,371 --> 00:10:07,999 I' m looking. 138 00:10:08,207 --> 00:10:09,504 -I got you -What? 139 00:10:09,742 --> 00:10:13,405 -What? -What did you get me there? 140 00:10:13,713 --> 00:10:16,238 I got you... 141 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,641 ...these. 142 00:10:18,851 --> 00:10:20,819 Bullwinkle socks. 143 00:10:21,020 --> 00:10:23,488 -That's sweet. -I knew you had Rockys. 144 00:10:23,689 --> 00:10:29,127 You can wear Bullwinkle and Bullwinkle or Rocky and Rocky, or you can mix. 145 00:10:29,328 --> 00:10:33,924 Moose and squirrel. Whatever you want. 146 00:10:37,269 --> 00:10:41,501 I'm gonna get another espresso. More latte? 147 00:10:43,109 --> 00:10:46,408 No, l' m still working on mine. 148 00:10:50,983 --> 00:10:53,611 -That's it? -Yeah, it was really hard. 149 00:10:53,953 --> 00:10:58,720 -Yeah, the hug looked pretty brutal. -You weren't there. 150 00:11:01,894 --> 00:11:04,454 -Sorry. -How are things going? 151 00:11:04,664 --> 00:11:07,929 Going? Things are not going. She got me socks. 152 00:11:08,134 --> 00:11:13,367 These go with your Rockys. She really cares about you l' m sorry. 153 00:11:26,352 --> 00:11:29,321 Coming through. Move. Move! 154 00:11:33,893 --> 00:11:37,294 Excuse me! I was kind of using that machine. 155 00:11:37,563 --> 00:11:39,929 Yeah, well, now you' re kind of not. 156 00:11:41,133 --> 00:11:44,034 But I saved it. I put my basket on top. 157 00:11:44,270 --> 00:11:46,761 I'm sorry. Is that your basket? 158 00:11:46,972 --> 00:11:51,409 It's pretty. Unfortunately, I don't see suds! 159 00:11:52,478 --> 00:11:53,570 What? 160 00:11:54,680 --> 00:11:57,945 No suds, no save, okay? 161 00:12:00,720 --> 00:12:02,187 What's going on? 162 00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:06,222 Nothing. This horrible woman just took my machine. 163 00:12:06,425 --> 00:12:07,892 Was your basket on top? 164 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:10,355 -Yeah, but there were no suds. -So? 165 00:12:10,663 --> 00:12:14,394 -You know, no suds, no save. -No suds, no Excuse me. 166 00:12:14,600 --> 00:12:18,536 Hold on a second! This is my friend's machine. 167 00:12:18,804 --> 00:12:21,068 Hey, hey, hey! Her stuff wasn't in it! 168 00:12:21,240 --> 00:12:25,233 Hey, hey, hey! That's not the rule, and you know it! 169 00:12:35,721 --> 00:12:37,348 All right. Show's over. 170 00:12:40,392 --> 00:12:42,883 Nothing to see here. 171 00:12:44,930 --> 00:12:47,023 Okay. Let's do laundry. 172 00:12:47,266 --> 00:12:51,100 That was amazing! I can't even send back soup. 173 00:12:51,303 --> 00:12:56,605 Well, that's because you' re such a sweet, gentle.... 174 00:12:58,077 --> 00:13:02,104 Do you? Do you? Oh, hey. You must need detergent. 175 00:13:05,918 --> 00:13:08,614 -What's that? -Uberweiss. 176 00:13:08,821 --> 00:13:12,120 It's new. It's German. It's extra tough! 177 00:13:14,226 --> 00:13:17,627 Rach, are you gonna separate those? 178 00:13:17,830 --> 00:13:22,529 Oh, God. Am I being a total laundry spaz? 179 00:13:22,735 --> 00:13:27,968 Am I supposed to use one machine for shirts and another for pants? 180 00:13:30,276 --> 00:13:33,336 Have you never done this before? 181 00:13:33,512 --> 00:13:37,778 Well, not myself. But I know other people that have. 182 00:13:38,517 --> 00:13:42,146 Okay. You caught me. I'm a laundry virgin. 183 00:13:43,055 --> 00:13:47,617 Don't worry. I'll use the gentle cycle. 184 00:13:50,896 --> 00:13:55,595 Basically, you wanna use one machine for all your whites. 185 00:13:55,801 --> 00:13:58,269 A whole other machine for your colors. 186 00:13:58,470 --> 00:14:02,964 And a third for your... 187 00:14:03,175 --> 00:14:05,735 ...delicates. That would be your bras... 188 00:14:06,011 --> 00:14:09,503 ...and your underpanty things. 189 00:14:11,650 --> 00:14:14,676 These are white cotton panties. 190 00:14:14,887 --> 00:14:17,788 Would they go with whites or with delicates? 191 00:14:17,990 --> 00:14:20,652 That would be a judgment call. 192 00:14:25,264 --> 00:14:27,095 He's so cute! 193 00:14:28,934 --> 00:14:30,595 Where did you grow up? 194 00:14:30,903 --> 00:14:33,428 -Brooklyn Heights. -Cleveland. 195 00:14:34,607 --> 00:14:36,404 -How'd that happen? -My God! 196 00:14:36,842 --> 00:14:38,207 What? 197 00:14:38,744 --> 00:14:43,238 I suddenly had the feeling I was falling. 198 00:14:44,216 --> 00:14:46,207 But I'm not. 199 00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:55,956 So, you and Angela, huh? 200 00:14:56,161 --> 00:15:00,154 -Yep. Pretty much. -You' re a lucky man. 201 00:15:01,200 --> 00:15:03,430 Know what I miss most about her? 202 00:15:03,669 --> 00:15:07,571 That cute nibbly noise she makes when she eats. 203 00:15:07,773 --> 00:15:10,537 Like a happy little squirrel... 204 00:15:10,743 --> 00:15:12,734 ...or a weasel. 205 00:15:13,979 --> 00:15:17,915 -I never really noticed. -Oh, yeah, yeah. Listen for it. 206 00:15:18,717 --> 00:15:20,708 Monica. Monica is great. 207 00:15:20,986 --> 00:15:23,216 Yeah, she is. 208 00:15:23,455 --> 00:15:27,152 But it's not gonna last. 209 00:15:27,359 --> 00:15:30,487 She's too much for me in bed. 210 00:15:30,963 --> 00:15:32,760 Sexually. 211 00:15:35,634 --> 00:15:38,296 I've gotta tell you, Bob is terrific. 212 00:15:38,504 --> 00:15:39,971 Yeah, isn't he? 213 00:15:40,172 --> 00:15:45,804 It's great to meet a smart, funny guy who's emotionally older than 8. 214 00:15:46,011 --> 00:15:50,948 You know what else? He's unbelievable in bed! 215 00:15:53,619 --> 00:15:58,056 My brother never even told me when he lost his virginity. 216 00:15:59,959 --> 00:16:02,223 That's nice. 217 00:16:06,398 --> 00:16:09,390 You can. It's like pulling off a Band-Aid. 218 00:16:09,601 --> 00:16:13,594 Just do it really fast, and then the wound is exposed. 219 00:16:13,872 --> 00:16:15,840 Go! Go! 220 00:16:28,287 --> 00:16:30,414 Hi, Janice. 221 00:16:30,889 --> 00:16:34,620 Here we go. I don't think we should go out anymore. 222 00:16:41,867 --> 00:16:43,835 All right. 223 00:16:48,207 --> 00:16:50,232 Well, there you go. 224 00:16:50,442 --> 00:16:53,639 Stop it, stop it, stop it. 225 00:16:55,814 --> 00:16:57,406 This isn't about you. 226 00:16:57,616 --> 00:17:00,983 I know! It's about your fear of commitment. 227 00:17:01,186 --> 00:17:02,949 I' m not afraid. 228 00:17:03,155 --> 00:17:04,486 -Please. -I don't! 229 00:17:04,690 --> 00:17:08,786 -I don't! I' m ready to commit anytime. -Really? 230 00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:11,893 I know this is gonna sound stupid... 231 00:17:12,097 --> 00:17:14,691 ... but I feel that if I can do this... 232 00:17:14,900 --> 00:17:18,233 ...if I can actually do my own laundry... 233 00:17:18,437 --> 00:17:21,201 ...there isn't anything I can't do. 234 00:17:21,407 --> 00:17:24,808 That does not sound stupid to me. 235 00:17:25,010 --> 00:17:29,174 The first time I had to cook for myself after Carol left me 236 00:17:29,381 --> 00:17:33,715 I'm sorry, that's all the time we have. Next on Ross.... 237 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:36,285 -Uh-oh. -What? 238 00:17:36,488 --> 00:17:37,682 Uh-oh.... 239 00:17:37,890 --> 00:17:41,121 Uh-oh, the laundry's done. 240 00:17:41,326 --> 00:17:43,988 It's a song. 241 00:17:44,196 --> 00:17:46,061 The laundry song we sing. 242 00:17:47,099 --> 00:17:50,466 Uh-oh! The laundry's done 243 00:17:51,336 --> 00:17:53,668 -What's the matter? -Nothing. 244 00:17:53,939 --> 00:17:55,236 The laundry's done 245 00:17:55,507 --> 00:17:56,599 Come on, show me. 246 00:17:56,875 --> 00:18:02,438 It's just that you left a red sock with your whites, and now... 247 00:18:03,582 --> 00:18:06,483 ...everything's kind of pink. 248 00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:08,609 Everything's pink? 249 00:18:08,887 --> 00:18:11,651 Except for the red sock, which is still red. 250 00:18:11,857 --> 00:18:14,690 Don't be upset. It can happen to anyone. 251 00:18:14,893 --> 00:18:16,758 But it happened to me. 252 00:18:16,995 --> 00:18:20,556 God, I'm gonna look like a big Marshmallow Peep! 253 00:18:20,799 --> 00:18:22,596 What am I doing? 254 00:18:22,901 --> 00:18:25,995 My father's right! I can't live on my own. 255 00:18:26,271 --> 00:18:29,240 I can't even do laundry! 256 00:18:40,252 --> 00:18:45,519 Something went wrong with Underdog and they couldn't inflate his head. 257 00:18:45,924 --> 00:18:47,858 So anyway... 258 00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:52,457 ...his head is flopping down Broadway, right? 259 00:18:52,664 --> 00:18:57,897 And I'm thinking how inappropriate this is. 260 00:18:58,103 --> 00:19:02,563 Something's in my eye. Could we check it in the light, please? 261 00:19:05,377 --> 00:19:06,810 -Oh, my God! -What? 262 00:19:07,079 --> 00:19:09,980 Were we at the same table? It's like... 263 00:19:10,182 --> 00:19:12,946 ...cocktails in Appalachia. 264 00:19:16,822 --> 00:19:20,918 -They' re close. -Close? Her tongue's in his ear. 265 00:19:21,727 --> 00:19:25,754 Like you've never got a little rambunctious with Ross. 266 00:19:26,932 --> 00:19:30,629 Joey, this is sick. It's disgusting. It's... 267 00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,131 ... not really true' is it? 268 00:19:33,405 --> 00:19:35,100 Who's to say what's true? 269 00:19:35,374 --> 00:19:39,310 -What were you thinking? -l' m not proud of this, okay? 270 00:19:39,511 --> 00:19:42,537 Well, maybe I am a little. 271 00:19:43,015 --> 00:19:44,880 -l' m out of here! -Wait! 272 00:19:45,083 --> 00:19:48,644 You like him. I want her. He likes you. 273 00:19:49,421 --> 00:19:51,389 -Really? -Yeah. 274 00:19:51,590 --> 00:19:55,253 If we put our heads together, between the two of us... 275 00:19:55,494 --> 00:19:57,985 ...we can break them up. 276 00:20:00,399 --> 00:20:02,833 I' m sorry. I can't believe I did this. 277 00:20:03,068 --> 00:20:07,164 I couldn't stop laughing at your Norman Mailer story. 278 00:20:12,811 --> 00:20:16,542 Waiter? One more plate of chicken wings over here. 279 00:20:22,454 --> 00:20:24,718 Here's the thing. We're different. 280 00:20:24,890 --> 00:20:28,223 I'm bing, bing, bing. You' re boom, boom, boom. 281 00:20:28,493 --> 00:20:30,984 Oh, my God! I' m so sorry! 282 00:20:31,496 --> 00:20:33,623 Are you okay? 283 00:20:34,066 --> 00:20:36,694 It's just my lens. It's my lens. 284 00:20:36,902 --> 00:20:39,063 I'll be right back. 285 00:20:40,806 --> 00:20:43,138 I hit her in the eye! In the eye! 286 00:20:43,408 --> 00:20:46,935 This is the worst breakup in the history of the world! 287 00:20:47,145 --> 00:20:49,739 Oh, my God! 288 00:20:51,083 --> 00:20:54,917 -How many have you had? -I don't know. A million! 289 00:20:55,787 --> 00:21:00,019 Chandler, easy, easy. Go to your happy place. 290 00:21:02,628 --> 00:21:04,960 -l' m fine, l' m fine. -All right. 291 00:21:05,163 --> 00:21:10,123 -l' m not fine. Here she is. -Wait here, okay? Breathe. 292 00:21:28,086 --> 00:21:31,681 -How do you do that? -It's like a gift. 293 00:21:34,326 --> 00:21:36,658 We should always break up together. 294 00:21:36,928 --> 00:21:39,226 I'd like that! 295 00:21:40,165 --> 00:21:43,225 The clothes are clean. That's the important part. 296 00:21:43,435 --> 00:21:48,338 I guess. Except everything looks like jammies now. 297 00:21:52,978 --> 00:21:57,244 I'm sorry. Excuse me. We had this cart. 298 00:21:57,449 --> 00:22:00,145 I had a 24-inch waist. You lose things. 299 00:22:00,352 --> 00:22:02,650 Now, come on. Get out of my way. 300 00:22:02,888 --> 00:22:06,585 I' m sorry. Maybe I wasn't being clear. This was our cart. 301 00:22:06,792 --> 00:22:08,726 There weren't clothes in it! 302 00:22:08,994 --> 00:22:11,622 Hey, hey, hey, hey! Quit making up rules! 303 00:22:11,830 --> 00:22:14,890 Let go! Come on, it's my cart. 304 00:22:15,434 --> 00:22:17,629 Listen, Mitzi, if you want it... 305 00:22:17,836 --> 00:22:20,634 ...you' re gonna have to take me with it! 306 00:22:27,679 --> 00:22:31,080 -Yes! Did you see that? -You were incredible. 307 00:22:31,283 --> 00:22:33,808 A brand-new woman, ladies and gentlemen. 308 00:22:34,019 --> 00:22:37,477 Thank you. I could not have done this without you. 309 00:22:45,263 --> 00:22:47,288 More clothes in the dryer? 310 00:22:49,301 --> 00:22:51,895 -I'm fine. I'm fine. -Are you sure? 311 00:22:55,374 --> 00:22:57,808 -Are you sure you' re okay? -Yeah. 312 00:22:58,009 --> 00:23:01,103 -Does it still hurt? -Yeah. 313 00:23:02,614 --> 00:23:07,210 What a neat idea! All your clothes match. I' m gonna do this. 314 00:23:09,388 --> 00:23:11,652 -How'd it go? -Excellent! 315 00:23:11,990 --> 00:23:16,427 We ripped that couple apart and kept the pieces for ourselves. 316 00:23:17,229 --> 00:23:18,924 What a beautiful story. 317 00:23:21,433 --> 00:23:24,459 -I'm fine, by the way. -I'm sorry. 318 00:23:24,669 --> 00:23:27,661 -Where's Chandler? -He needed time to grieve. 319 00:23:27,873 --> 00:23:30,171 I' m free! I' m free! 320 00:23:32,177 --> 00:23:34,236 That ought to do it.