Friends Season 2 Episode 2

Subtitles
​1 00:00:05,887 --> 00:00:08,793 These were unbelievely expensive and he'll grow out of them... 2 00:00:08,995 --> 00:00:11,730 ...in 20 minutes, but I couldn't resist! 3 00:00:15,581 --> 00:00:17,609 Look at these. 4 00:00:17,988 --> 00:00:18,957 Hey, Ben. 5 00:00:19,158 --> 00:00:20,822 "Just do it"! 6 00:00:23,002 --> 00:00:24,267 Oh, my God! 7 00:00:24,473 --> 00:00:26,502 Was that too much pressure for him? 8 00:00:28,217 --> 00:00:31,522 -ls he hungry already? -I guess so. 9 00:00:32,629 --> 00:00:34,190 You know, it's.... 10 00:00:37,209 --> 00:00:40,241 Something funny about sneakers. I'll be right back. 11 00:00:41,521 --> 00:00:43,220 I gotta get one too. 12 00:00:45,901 --> 00:00:47,769 Hey, what are you guys doing? 13 00:00:48,074 --> 00:00:50,512 We're just hanging out by the spoons. 14 00:00:51,182 --> 00:00:52,584 Ladle? 15 00:00:52,786 --> 00:00:54,017 Will you guys grow up? 16 00:00:54,224 --> 00:00:57,027 This is the most nature beautiful thing in the world. 17 00:00:57,267 --> 00:01:00,264 Yeah, we know. But there's a baby sucking on it. 18 00:01:02,414 --> 00:01:07,555 This is my son having lunch, okay? It'll happen a lot, so get used to it. 19 00:01:08,064 --> 00:01:11,437 If you're uncomfortable, just ask questions. 20 00:01:11,674 --> 00:01:13,338 Carol's fine with it. 21 00:01:16,354 --> 00:01:17,185 Carol? 22 00:01:20,131 --> 00:01:23,835 I'm wondering, could Joey ask you a question about breast-feeding? 23 00:01:26,315 --> 00:01:27,284 Sure. 24 00:01:29,792 --> 00:01:31,227 Does it hurt? 25 00:01:32,500 --> 00:01:34,995 It did at first, but not anymore. 26 00:01:35,408 --> 00:01:36,468 Chandler? 27 00:01:39,386 --> 00:01:41,381 So, how often can you do it? 28 00:01:41,993 --> 00:01:43,429 As much as he needs. 29 00:01:44,199 --> 00:01:46,729 Okay, I got one, I got one. 30 00:01:49,047 --> 00:01:52,113 If he blows into one, does the other one get bigger? 31 00:01:55,891 --> 00:01:57,954 The One With the Breast Milk 32 00:02:42,432 --> 00:02:45,270 -Any muffins left? -Yeah, I forget which ones. 33 00:02:45,608 --> 00:02:47,442 You're busy, I'll get it. 34 00:02:47,747 --> 00:02:50,380 -Anyone else want one? -No, thanks. 35 00:02:50,589 --> 00:02:53,085 You're losing your apron. Let me get it. 36 00:02:54,099 --> 00:02:56,036 -There you go. -Thank you. 37 00:02:57,775 --> 00:02:59,576 What a bitch! 38 00:03:02,991 --> 00:03:06,091 I have a friend at Bloomingdale's who's quitting... 39 00:03:06,333 --> 00:03:08,567 ...and he wants to abuse his discount. 40 00:03:08,774 --> 00:03:11,076 Anyone want to come take advantage of it? 41 00:03:11,314 --> 00:03:13,947 I have to take my grandmother to the vet. 42 00:03:18,669 --> 00:03:20,367 -I'll go with you. -Great. 43 00:03:23,382 --> 00:03:25,148 -Hi, honey. -Hey, sweetums. 44 00:03:26,190 --> 00:03:28,458 And hello to the rest. 45 00:03:31,171 --> 00:03:34,841 You can't go shopping with her. What about Rachel? 46 00:03:35,751 --> 00:03:37,015 Will it be a problem? 47 00:03:37,221 --> 00:03:39,318 You're going to Bloomingdale's with Julie. 48 00:03:39,528 --> 00:03:43,061 It's like cheating on Rachel in her house of worship. 49 00:03:44,542 --> 00:03:46,206 Monica, she will kill you. 50 00:03:47,852 --> 00:03:50,553 She will kill you like a dog in the street! 51 00:03:55,105 --> 00:03:58,741 So Jules tells me you guys are going shopping tomorrow. 52 00:03:59,384 --> 00:04:01,983 It's actually not that big a deal. 53 00:04:02,226 --> 00:04:04,322 It's a big deal to me. This is great. 54 00:04:04,566 --> 00:04:06,595 I really appreciate this. 55 00:04:06,806 --> 00:04:08,299 You're welcome. 56 00:04:23,152 --> 00:04:24,447 Bijan for men? 57 00:04:25,850 --> 00:04:27,145 Bijan for men? 58 00:04:30,811 --> 00:04:32,469 -Hey, Annabel. -Hey, Joey. 59 00:04:32,710 --> 00:04:34,832 Did you hear about the new guy? 60 00:04:35,107 --> 00:04:39,502 Nobody knows his name. Me and the girls call him "The Hombre Man. " 61 00:04:48,960 --> 00:04:50,356 Hombre? 62 00:04:55,154 --> 00:04:57,481 What's he doing in my section? 63 00:04:57,684 --> 00:04:59,410 I guess he doesn't know. 64 00:04:59,650 --> 00:05:01,238 Well, he's gonna. 65 00:05:02,313 --> 00:05:04,334 I'll see you a little later, okay? 66 00:05:07,608 --> 00:05:09,129 Hey, how you doing? 67 00:05:09,673 --> 00:05:10,602 Mornin'. 68 00:05:11,471 --> 00:05:14,399 Listen, I know you're new... 69 00:05:14,668 --> 00:05:16,927 ... but it's understood that everything... 70 00:05:17,131 --> 00:05:20,582 ...from young men's to the escalator is my territory. 71 00:05:22,260 --> 00:05:24,315 "Your territory"? 72 00:05:25,656 --> 00:05:27,347 -Bijan for men? -No, thanks. 73 00:05:27,555 --> 00:05:28,950 Hombre? 74 00:05:29,253 --> 00:05:31,443 Yeah, all right. 75 00:05:38,144 --> 00:05:39,233 You were saying? 76 00:05:43,239 --> 00:05:47,223 Phoebe, listen. You were with me, and we were shopping all day. 77 00:05:48,135 --> 00:05:49,758 We shopped and we had lunch. 78 00:05:50,032 --> 00:05:51,190 What did I have? 79 00:05:51,897 --> 00:05:55,189 -You had a salad. -No wonder I don't feel full. 80 00:05:56,359 --> 00:05:57,516 Hi. What's up? 81 00:05:57,725 --> 00:06:00,687 I went shopping with Monica and I had a salad. 82 00:06:02,918 --> 00:06:05,178 Good, Pheebs. What'd you buy? 83 00:06:06,715 --> 00:06:09,076 We went shopping for.... 84 00:06:09,580 --> 00:06:10,669 For.... 85 00:06:11,078 --> 00:06:12,871 For fur. 86 00:06:15,407 --> 00:06:18,028 You went shopping for fur? 87 00:06:19,103 --> 00:06:21,759 And then I realized that l'm against that. 88 00:06:23,100 --> 00:06:25,325 So then we bought some.... 89 00:06:26,730 --> 00:06:27,853 Boobs. 90 00:06:33,723 --> 00:06:34,652 You bought boobs? 91 00:06:37,884 --> 00:06:39,472 Bras! 92 00:06:40,315 --> 00:06:41,404 We bought bras! 93 00:06:42,380 --> 00:06:44,570 We bought bras. 94 00:06:47,674 --> 00:06:49,036 Bijan for men? 95 00:06:49,506 --> 00:06:51,163 Bijan for men? 96 00:06:51,403 --> 00:06:52,799 Bijan for.... 97 00:06:54,702 --> 00:06:55,791 Hey, Annabel. 98 00:06:56,199 --> 00:07:00,150 I was wondering if after work we could grab a cup of coffee? 99 00:07:00,728 --> 00:07:02,714 Actually, I sort of have plans. 100 00:07:08,020 --> 00:07:09,643 You ready, Annabel? 101 00:07:10,952 --> 00:07:12,438 You bet. 102 00:07:14,214 --> 00:07:15,439 Maybe some other time. 103 00:07:26,102 --> 00:07:30,189 It's not the first time I lost a girl to a cowboy spraying cologne. 104 00:07:30,432 --> 00:07:31,919 Bijan for men? 105 00:07:32,362 --> 00:07:33,985 Bijan for men! 106 00:07:35,526 --> 00:07:37,422 And this is Funny Clown. 107 00:07:37,624 --> 00:07:41,109 It's only for after his naps, not before, or he won't sleep. 108 00:07:41,321 --> 00:07:44,771 We've been through this before. We have a good time. 109 00:07:44,984 --> 00:07:48,276 We laugh, we play. It's like we're father and son. 110 00:07:50,112 --> 00:07:53,166 Honey, relax. Ross is great with him. 111 00:07:53,408 --> 00:07:57,302 Don't look so surprised. I'm a lovely person. 112 00:07:59,335 --> 00:08:01,129 This is so cute! 113 00:08:01,333 --> 00:08:02,956 I got that for him! 114 00:08:03,232 --> 00:08:04,753 "My Mommies Love Me. " 115 00:08:08,660 --> 00:08:10,214 That's clever. 116 00:08:12,823 --> 00:08:14,548 Oh, hi, Jul.... 117 00:08:15,919 --> 00:08:17,383 Hi, Jew! 118 00:08:22,280 --> 00:08:23,471 Okay, sure. 119 00:08:23,911 --> 00:08:26,635 That'd be great. See you then. Bye. 120 00:08:27,075 --> 00:08:29,130 Did you just say, " Hi, Jew"? 121 00:08:34,134 --> 00:08:35,688 Yes, I did. 122 00:08:35,899 --> 00:08:38,021 That was my friend Eddie Moskowitz. 123 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:49,351 Yeah, he likes it. Reaffirms his faith. 124 00:08:54,750 --> 00:08:56,722 Ben, dinner! 125 00:08:57,625 --> 00:08:59,061 Thanks, Aunt Pheebs. 126 00:08:59,296 --> 00:09:02,761 Did you microwave that? You can't do that to breast milk. 127 00:09:03,007 --> 00:09:05,914 I think I know how to heat breast milk. 128 00:09:09,659 --> 00:09:11,790 What did you just do? 129 00:09:12,033 --> 00:09:13,799 I licked my arm, what? 130 00:09:14,004 --> 00:09:16,239 It's breast milk! 131 00:09:16,478 --> 00:09:17,708 So? 132 00:09:17,950 --> 00:09:21,187 Phoebe, that is juice squeezed from a person. 133 00:09:22,863 --> 00:09:24,892 What is the big deal? 134 00:09:27,009 --> 00:09:28,843 What did you just do? 135 00:09:30,920 --> 00:09:34,327 Can people stop drinking the breast milk? 136 00:09:35,900 --> 00:09:37,530 You won't even taste it? 137 00:09:39,010 --> 00:09:41,175 Not even if you just pretend it's milk? 138 00:09:41,583 --> 00:09:45,687 Not even if Carol's breast had a picture of a missing child on it. 139 00:09:53,417 --> 00:09:56,825 -Where is everybody? -At the park. Where have you been? 140 00:09:57,395 --> 00:09:58,386 Just out. 141 00:09:58,598 --> 00:10:02,906 Had some lunch. Just me. A little quality time with me. 142 00:10:04,247 --> 00:10:06,014 -Thanks for your jacket. -No problem. 143 00:10:06,755 --> 00:10:09,091 You can borrow it, by the way. 144 00:10:10,264 --> 00:10:12,133 Here are your keys, honey. 145 00:10:16,115 --> 00:10:19,990 If you were at lunch alone, how come it cost you $53? 146 00:10:23,336 --> 00:10:25,307 You know what probably happened? 147 00:10:25,809 --> 00:10:27,507 Someone stole my credit card. 148 00:10:29,553 --> 00:10:31,821 And put the receipt back in your pocket? 149 00:10:33,565 --> 00:10:36,368 That is an excellent, excellent question. 150 00:10:36,773 --> 00:10:38,209 That is excellent. 151 00:10:39,549 --> 00:10:42,455 What's with you? Who did you have lunch with? 152 00:10:42,723 --> 00:10:43,988 -Judy. -Who? 153 00:10:44,195 --> 00:10:45,221 -Julie. -What? 154 00:10:45,432 --> 00:10:46,799 Jody. 155 00:10:48,473 --> 00:10:49,807 You were with Julie? 156 00:10:51,215 --> 00:10:54,783 When it started, I was just trying to be nice to her... 157 00:10:55,059 --> 00:10:57,658 ... because she was my brother's girlfriend. 158 00:10:58,068 --> 00:11:01,305 And then one thing led to another... 159 00:11:01,945 --> 00:11:04,418 ...and before I knew it, we were... 160 00:11:04,921 --> 00:11:06,447 ...shopping. 161 00:11:11,305 --> 00:11:12,274 Oh, my God! 162 00:11:14,481 --> 00:11:16,350 Wait, we only did it once. 163 00:11:18,526 --> 00:11:20,121 It didn't meant anything to me! 164 00:11:23,640 --> 00:11:26,512 Rachal, I was thinking of you the whole time. 165 00:11:29,524 --> 00:11:33,696 Look, I'm sorry, all right? I never meant for you to find out. 166 00:11:33,903 --> 00:11:37,607 Oh, please! Please! You wanted to get caught! 167 00:11:38,115 --> 00:11:39,345 That is not true! 168 00:11:39,553 --> 00:11:42,025 So you just happened to leave it in here? 169 00:11:43,062 --> 00:11:46,766 Did it ever occur to you that I might just be that stupid? 170 00:11:48,711 --> 00:11:50,980 Okay, I just have to know one thing. 171 00:11:54,829 --> 00:11:56,892 Did you go with her to Bloomingdale's? 172 00:12:10,874 --> 00:12:14,943 Okay, I just really need to not be with you right now. 173 00:12:25,781 --> 00:12:26,841 Hi, who's this? 174 00:12:27,185 --> 00:12:30,216 Hi, Joanne. Is Rachel working? It's Monica. 175 00:12:31,330 --> 00:12:33,565 Yes, I know I did a horrible thing. 176 00:12:34,072 --> 00:12:36,704 Joanne, it's not as simple as all that. 177 00:12:38,216 --> 00:12:42,159 No, I don't care what Steve thinks. Hi, Steve. 178 00:12:47,509 --> 00:12:48,672 How did we do? 179 00:12:48,947 --> 00:12:51,580 I tasted Ben's milk and Ross freaked out. 180 00:12:52,356 --> 00:12:53,587 I did not freak out. 181 00:12:53,794 --> 00:12:57,031 -Why'd you freak out? -Because it's breast milk. 182 00:12:58,106 --> 00:12:58,972 It's gross! 183 00:12:59,978 --> 00:13:01,448 My breast milk is gross? 184 00:13:03,322 --> 00:13:05,316 This should be fun. 185 00:13:07,333 --> 00:13:09,099 There's nothing wrong with it. 186 00:13:09,305 --> 00:13:13,009 I just don't think breast milk is for adults. 187 00:13:13,250 --> 00:13:16,521 Of course, the packaging does appeal to grownups and kids. 188 00:13:18,798 --> 00:13:21,671 Don't be silly. I've tried it. It's no big deal. 189 00:13:21,941 --> 00:13:22,841 Just taste it. 190 00:13:24,649 --> 00:13:26,483 That would be no. 191 00:13:27,356 --> 00:13:28,382 -Come on. -Try it. 192 00:13:28,626 --> 00:13:29,526 It's natural. 193 00:13:29,729 --> 00:13:31,063 It doesn't taste bad. 194 00:13:31,334 --> 00:13:34,207 Yeah, it tastes kind of sweet. Sort of like.... 195 00:13:34,410 --> 00:13:35,242 Like what? 196 00:13:35,479 --> 00:13:36,505 Cantaloupe juice. 197 00:13:36,716 --> 00:13:38,152 Exactly. 198 00:13:45,374 --> 00:13:46,901 You've tasted it. 199 00:13:47,547 --> 00:13:49,074 You've tasted it. 200 00:13:51,358 --> 00:13:53,193 Oh, you've tasted it. 201 00:13:55,303 --> 00:13:58,277 You can keep saying it, but it won't stop being true. 202 00:14:06,234 --> 00:14:07,601 Give me the bottle. 203 00:14:13,454 --> 00:14:14,924 Get me the towel. 204 00:14:39,996 --> 00:14:41,022 Howdy. 205 00:14:43,373 --> 00:14:45,401 Give me a box of juice. 206 00:14:47,785 --> 00:14:50,121 Well, they switched me over to Hombre. 207 00:14:50,527 --> 00:14:53,365 Maybe it's because of the way you're dressed. 208 00:14:54,805 --> 00:14:58,440 Or this guy's doing so good they want to put more people on it. 209 00:14:59,051 --> 00:15:01,957 This guy goes through two bottles a day now. 210 00:15:04,265 --> 00:15:05,735 What do you care? 211 00:15:06,639 --> 00:15:09,842 You're an actor. This is your day job. It's nothing! 212 00:15:10,082 --> 00:15:12,578 I know, but I was the best. 213 00:15:12,823 --> 00:15:15,923 You know? I liked being the best. 214 00:15:20,478 --> 00:15:22,643 Maybe I should get out of the game. 215 00:15:23,019 --> 00:15:26,324 They need guys up in housewares to serve cheese. 216 00:15:26,528 --> 00:15:27,656 Say you do that. 217 00:15:27,866 --> 00:15:31,969 Sooner or later, somebody will come along that slices a better cheddar. 218 00:15:34,050 --> 00:15:35,577 Then where you gonna run? 219 00:15:35,856 --> 00:15:36,824 You're right. 220 00:15:37,026 --> 00:15:40,399 I say you show him what you're made of. Stand your ground. 221 00:15:40,670 --> 00:15:45,240 Show him that you're the baddest Hombre west of the lingerie! 222 00:15:46,017 --> 00:15:48,046 -I'm gonna do it! -All right! 223 00:15:49,093 --> 00:15:52,900 Now, go see Miss Kitty and she'll fix you up with a nice hooker. 224 00:15:55,110 --> 00:15:56,705 I don't know what to say. 225 00:15:56,982 --> 00:15:59,284 That's good because I'm not listening. 226 00:15:59,990 --> 00:16:01,791 I feel terrible. I really do. 227 00:16:01,996 --> 00:16:04,298 I'm sorry. Did my back hurt your knife? 228 00:16:07,512 --> 00:16:11,478 Say that I'm friends with her. Is that so terrible? 229 00:16:12,459 --> 00:16:14,989 -It's that terrible? -You don't get it! 230 00:16:15,200 --> 00:16:16,933 It's bad enough she stole the guy... 231 00:16:17,173 --> 00:16:19,703 ...who may be the person l'm supposed to be with. 232 00:16:20,149 --> 00:16:21,139 But now... 233 00:16:22,555 --> 00:16:24,048 ...she's actually.... 234 00:16:24,995 --> 00:16:27,662 But now she's actually stealing you! 235 00:16:31,346 --> 00:16:33,181 What are you talking about? 236 00:16:33,553 --> 00:16:35,890 Nobody could steal me from you. 237 00:16:36,093 --> 00:16:40,538 Because I'm friends with her doesn't make me any less friends with you. 238 00:16:41,944 --> 00:16:43,379 You're my.... 239 00:16:45,086 --> 00:16:46,453 And we're.... 240 00:16:49,599 --> 00:16:52,471 -Oh, I love you! -I love you too! 241 00:16:56,919 --> 00:17:01,923 You guys, I know that this really doesn't have anything to do with me. 242 00:17:02,134 --> 00:17:03,729 But I love you guys too! 243 00:17:09,689 --> 00:17:11,854 I really needed that. 244 00:17:13,701 --> 00:17:15,672 I know that right now... 245 00:17:15,941 --> 00:17:18,505 ...you really need to hate Julie's guts. 246 00:17:18,715 --> 00:17:21,553 But she didn't do anything wrong. 247 00:17:22,191 --> 00:17:26,158 She's just a girl who met a guy, and now they go out. 248 00:17:26,871 --> 00:17:29,868 I think that if you gave her a chance, you'd like her. 249 00:17:32,420 --> 00:17:34,050 Will you give it a chance? 250 00:17:34,928 --> 00:17:36,227 For me? 251 00:17:38,504 --> 00:17:40,601 I'd do anything for you, you know that. 252 00:17:41,212 --> 00:17:43,742 I'd do anything for you! 253 00:17:44,622 --> 00:17:46,354 Wait, wait, wait! 254 00:18:04,979 --> 00:18:05,811 Mornin'. 255 00:18:08,356 --> 00:18:11,194 I said, mornin'! 256 00:18:12,669 --> 00:18:13,831 I heard you. 257 00:18:15,376 --> 00:18:18,544 All right, everybody. I'm opening the doors. 258 00:18:18,819 --> 00:18:20,118 You boys ready? 259 00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:26,370 Ready. 260 00:18:27,209 --> 00:18:28,543 Yeah, l'm ready. 261 00:19:15,381 --> 00:19:17,649 You idiot! You stupid cowboy! 262 00:19:18,054 --> 00:19:20,049 You've blinded me! I'm suing! 263 00:19:20,295 --> 00:19:23,896 Oh, my God! Todd! What the hell did you do? 264 00:19:24,372 --> 00:19:25,967 Sorry. I'm such a doofus! 265 00:19:26,245 --> 00:19:28,547 I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. 266 00:19:29,721 --> 00:19:31,419 My God, what happened? 267 00:19:32,429 --> 00:19:34,833 These new kids, they never last. 268 00:19:35,070 --> 00:19:37,508 Sooner or later they all... 269 00:19:38,179 --> 00:19:39,911 ...stop lasting. 270 00:19:40,620 --> 00:19:44,119 What do you say I buy you that cup of coffee now? 271 00:19:44,564 --> 00:19:45,590 Sure. 272 00:20:04,856 --> 00:20:07,158 I just thought we should hang out. 273 00:20:07,363 --> 00:20:10,269 I mean, you know, we've never really talked. 274 00:20:10,505 --> 00:20:13,605 I guess you'd know that, being one of the two of us. 275 00:20:13,814 --> 00:20:15,341 I know. 276 00:20:16,055 --> 00:20:19,360 I probably shouldn't even tell you this... 277 00:20:19,564 --> 00:20:22,698 ... but l'm pretty much totally intimidated by you. 278 00:20:23,810 --> 00:20:24,836 Really? 279 00:20:25,080 --> 00:20:26,140 Me? 280 00:20:26,351 --> 00:20:28,219 Oh, my God, are you kidding? 281 00:20:28,490 --> 00:20:30,222 Ross is so crazy about you... 282 00:20:30,428 --> 00:20:33,597 ...and I really wanted you to like me, and l.... 283 00:20:33,872 --> 00:20:36,710 It's probably me just being totally paranoid... 284 00:20:36,913 --> 00:20:40,447 ...but I kind of got the feeling that maybe you don't. 285 00:20:49,784 --> 00:20:51,618 Well, you're not totally paranoid. 286 00:21:04,292 --> 00:21:07,699 When you and Ross first started going out... 287 00:21:07,969 --> 00:21:10,168 ...it was really hard for me... 288 00:21:12,281 --> 00:21:16,486 ...for many reasons of which l'm not gonna bore you with now. 289 00:21:21,373 --> 00:21:25,842 I see how happy he is and how good you guys are together. 290 00:21:27,056 --> 00:21:31,090 And Monica's always saying how nice you are... 291 00:21:31,335 --> 00:21:33,569 ...and God, I hate it when she's right! 292 00:21:35,681 --> 00:21:37,116 Thanks. 293 00:21:37,720 --> 00:21:41,287 Would you like to go to a movie sometime or something? 294 00:21:41,698 --> 00:21:44,467 Yeah, that'd be great. I'd love it. 295 00:21:44,707 --> 00:21:46,439 I'd love it too. 296 00:21:47,481 --> 00:21:48,780 Shoot, I gotta go. 297 00:21:48,985 --> 00:21:51,960 -So I'll talk to you later. -All right, Julie. 298 00:22:00,819 --> 00:22:03,258 What a manipulative bitch. 299 00:22:34,515 --> 00:22:35,346 It's not bad.